:  .- -1FJS 

SN.  PARKER 


•  •.  • . 


m 

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MAVOURNEEN 


MAVOURNEEN 

A   COMEDY    IN   THREE   ACTS 


BY 

LOUIS  N.  PARKER 


NEW  YORK 

DODD,  MEAD  AND  COMPANY 
1916 


COPYRIGHT,  1916, 
BY  LOUIS  N.  PARKER 


NOTE 

If  one  had  to  label  this  play,  one  might  call  it  a  play 
of  anecdotal  history.  Some  of  it  comes  from  Pepy's 
Diary;  some  from  Count  Hamilton's  Memoirs  of  Gram- 
mont;  some  from  sterner  authorities;  and  the  rest  is  out 
of  my  own  head. 

It  was  first  produced  in  London,  at  His  Majesty's 
Theatre,  on  the  evening  of  Saturday,  Oct.  23rd,  1915, 
with  Miss  Lily  Elsie  as  Patricia,  Mr.  Malcolm  Cherry 
as  Charles  II,  Mr.  C.  V.  France  as  Father  O'Rafferty, 
Mr.  Gerald  Lawrence  as  Buckingham,  Mr.  Reginald 
Owen  as  Sidney  Montagu,  Mr.  Edward  Sass  as  Pepys, 
Miss  Athene  Seyler  as  Queen  Catherine,  Miss  Alice 
Crawford  as  Lady  Castlemaine,  and  Miss  Dorothy 
Packer  as  Mrs.  Pepys. 

In  America  it  was  first  produced  at  the  Powers  Thea- 
tre in  Chicago  on  the  evening  of  May  28,  1916,  with  the 
following  cast :  — 

KING  CHARLES  II Pedro  de  Cordoba 

?  BUCKINGHAM Warburton  Gamble 

ARLINGTON .  .Reginald  Carrington 

BRISTOL Gordon  Burby 

ASHLEY Vernon  Denham 

SIR  CHARLES  BERKELEY Henry  Vincent 

'^SIDNEY  MONTAGU    Alexander  Onslow 

SAMUEL  PEPYS John  L.  Shine 


'  FATHER  O'RAFFERTY    James  O.  Barrows 

CHIFFINCH Allan  Mason 

THE  HOST  OF  THE  BEAR Tracy  Barrow 

A  DRAWER John  M.  O'Brien 

USHER Francis  Mack 

HAFIZ Garrett  Carroll 

PUPPET  SHOW  MAN Russell  Hubley 

QUEEN'S  SURGEON John  Alexander 

QUEEN'S  SECRETARY Maxwell  Kennedy 

QUEEN'S  CHAIRMAN Harry  Dee 

QUEEN  CATHERINE , Saxone  Morland 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE Belle  Daube 

LADY  ARLINGTON Iseth  Munro 

MRS.  MYDDLETON   Ethel  West 

MRS.  ROBERTS Eleanor  Scott  L'Estelle 

?  Miss  FRANCES  BROOKE Helen  ErsJcine 

y  Miss  HILL  BROOKE Lyllian  Charles 

FLOWER  GIRL Vera  Mercer 

LAVENDER  GIRL   Leslie  McCarl 

LADY  SHREWSBURY Linden  Champion 

MRS.  PEPYS Margaret  Prendergast 

MOYRA    Mattie  Keene 

MERCER   Carrington  North 

A  MAID Edna  Waddell 

•?  PATRICIA  O'BRIEN Peggy  O'Neil 


PERSONS 
(In  the  order  of  their  appearance) 

MOYRA 

FATHER  O'RAFFERTY 

PATRICIA  O'BRIEN 

THE  HOST  OF  THE  "  BEAR  " 

A  DRAWER 

GEORGE  VILLIERS,  DUKE  OF  BUCKINGHAM 

GEORGE  DIGBY,  EARL  OF  BRISTOL 

ANTHONY,  BARON  ASHLEY 

GEORGE,  BARON  BERKELEY 

SIDNEY  MONTAGU 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE 

MRS.  MYDDLETON 

MRS.  ROBERTS 

SAMUEL  PEPYS 

MRS.  PEPYS 

MERCER 

QUEEN  CATHERINE  OF  BRAGANZA 

WILLIAM  CHIFFINCH 

USHER 

HENRY  BENNETT,  EARL  OF  ARLINGTON 

KING  CHARLES  II. 

Miss  HILL  BROOKE 


Miss  FRANCES  BROOKE 
LADY  ARLINGTON 
HAPIZ  (Persona  muta) 
A  MAID 

Lords  and  Ladies,  Servants,  Mob,  Tradespeople,  Ne- 
gro Pages. 

The  action  takes  place  in  Castle  O'Brien;  at  the  Bear 
Inn  in  Drury  Lane;  in  the  Palace  of  Whitehall;  and  at 
Tunbridge  Wells. 

PERIOD:  —  In  Good  King  Charles'  Golden  Days. 


ACT  I 


ACT  I 

SCENE  1 :  — 

MOYRA'S  room  in  Castle  O'Brien,  the  half-ruined  seat  of 
LORD  BELISLE.  The  room  is  high  up  in  the  angle  of  a 
tower.  There  is  a  deeply  embrasured  window  at  the 
back,  beyond  which  is  nothing  but  blue  sky.  In  the 
raftered  roof  is  a  dormer  window,  also  open  to  the  sky. 
In  an  angle  on  the  left  is  a  small  door  opening  on  tur- 
ret stairs,  both  up  and  down.  There  is  a  large  open 
fireplace  on  the  right,  with  a  peat  fire;  over  it  hangs  a 
cauldron  in  which  a  stew  is  steaming.  A  rough  lable, 
a  dresser,  one  straw-bottomed  chair,  and  three  stools 
are  all  the  furniture. 

MOYRA,  an  old  woman,  is  crouching  over  the  stew,  croon- 
ing a  song.  FATHER  O'RAFFERTY,  a  genial  old  priest 
in  a  shabby  gown,  gently  opens  the  door  and  puts  his 
head  in;  then  he  enters,  playing  on  a  fiddle.  He  stands 
behind  MOYRA  and  accompanies  her  very  softly.  She 
stops  in  alarm  and  listens  a  moment  without  daring  to 
turn  round. 

MOYRA 

[To  herself.]     Glory  be  to  God!     It's  me  voice  sing- 
ing without  me!     Ow!     Father   O'Rafferty!     And  me 
-C    *    > 


MAVOURNEEN 

that  frightened  I  dursri't  look.     [She  rises,  curtsey*,  and 
crosses  herself.] 

O'RAFFERTY 

Your  conscience  is  unaisy,  Moyra,  woman.  Where's 
Pat?  [He  puts  his  fiddle,  bow  and  hat  on  the  dresser."] 

MOYRA 

[Dusting  a  stool.]  God  save  you  kindly,  your  River- 
ence.  Be  seated,  and  take  an  air  of  the  fire.  [She  offers 
a  chair.]  Is  it  to  larn  her  the  dancing  you've  come? 

O'RAFFERTY 
[Sitting.]     Whisht !     Do  you  know  the  news  ? 

MOYRA 

News  is  it?  What  news  comes  to  Castle  O'Brien,  un- 
less you  climb  them  stairs  to  bring  it  ? 

O'RAFFERTY 
Ay,  and  'twas  weary  work,  for  'tis  bad  news  this  time. 

MOYRA 

Tis  a  year  and  a  day  since  we  had  good.  But  what 
is  it  now?  Is  his  Lordship  to  send  Pat  away  from  us? 

O'RAFFERTY 

And  that's  not  the  worst  of  it.  [With  an  effort.] 
She's  to  be  married. 

-C    4    > 


ACT    I 

MOYRA 

Holy  Saints  —  don't  tell  me  — ! 

O'RAFFERTY 

And  that's  not  the  worst  of  it! 

/ 

MOYRA 

Who's  the  man  ? 

O'RAFFERTY 

That's  the  worst  of  it.  '[Lowering  his  voice  and  beck- 
oning to  her.]  Whisper  here.  Sir  Timothy  O'Reilly. 

MOYRA 
[Horrified.']     Tim  — !     Tim  O'Reilly ! 

O'RAFFERTY 
Tim  O'Reilly  just! 

MOYRA 

Why,  the  man's  fifty ;  and  thirty  of  'em  he's  never  been 
sober. 

O'RAFFERTY 

Little  his  lordship  cares.  For  why?  All  his  aim's  to 
be  rid  of  Pat  out  of  the  castle,  and  him  free  to  begin  the 
old  life  again. 

MOYRA 

Meela  murder !  wid  the  place  full  o*  rapscallions  male 
and  female,  by  day  and  by  night ! 
•C    5    > 


MAVOURNEEN 

O'RAFFERTY 

The  ould  devil's  strong  in  his  lordship  and  he's  weary 
o'  well-doing;  so  now  he's  for  ridding  the  house  of  his 
good  angel. 

MOYRA 
Does  she  know  ? 

O'RAFFERTY 

Sorrow  a  word.  His  Lordship  hasn't  dared  tell  her. 
He  writes  to  me  from  Dublin,  where  he's  consorting  with 
all  that's  wicked  and  —  fascinating;  and,  says  he,  "  Tell 
her  your  own  way,  Padre."  As  if  I  had  a  way. 

MOYRA 

'Twill  be  a  bad  quarter  of  an  hour  for  you,  for  Pat's 
got  a  taste  of  the  Master's  spirit  in  her. 

O'RAFFERTY 

[Miserably.]  Don't  I  know  it?  [After  a  pause.] 
Moyra  — 

MOYRA 
Your  Riverence? 

O'RAFFERTY 

[Hesitatingly  and  insinuatingly.]  I  was  thinking, 
Moyra,  was  you  to  break  it  to  her  your  way  — 

•C  e  > 


ACT    I 

MOYRA 

Me !  You'd  be  for  sending  the  goose  to  the  fox.  I'd 
liefer  put  me  hand  in  the  fire. 

O'RAFFERTY 

Now,  Moyra  woman!  'Tis  a  woman's  task;  and 
you've  had  the  handling  of  her  since  her  mother  died. 

MOYRA 

You're  her  taycher. 

O'RAFFERTY 

I've  learnt  her  the  graces  of  life;  and  I've  made  a  lady 
of  her;  but  'tis  you've  learnt  her  her  paternoster,  and 
'tis  you  she  comes  to  for  comfort. 

MOYRA 

And  that's  why  I'll  not  give  her  such  a  down-blow. 
I'll  not  tell  her.  Tim  O'Reilly,  indeed !  Tim  O'Reilly's 
no  more  fit  — 

PATRICIA'S  VOICE 

[Outside  from  above  the  open  dormer  window."] 
What's  Tim  O'Reilly  not  fit  for? 

MOYRA 

[Frightened.]     Meela  murder,  what's  that? 
•C    ?    > 


MAVOURNEEN 

O'RAFFERTY 
[Looking  round  the  room.]     She's  in  the  room ! 

PATRICIA'S  VOICE 
She's  not  then ! 

[Her  laughing  face  peers  round  the  corner  of  the  dormer 
window.} 

MOYRA 

[Pointing  to  it,  speechless.]     Look!     Look! 

O'RAFFERTY 

Where  are  you,  you  pooka?  [He  sees  her.~\  What 
the  —  what  the  plague  are  you  doing  up  there  ?  How 
the  mischief  did  you  get  there  ?  You'll  break  every  bone 
in  your  body,  and  serve  you  right!  Oh,  whirra,  whirra, 
come  down  at  once,  you  little  imp  of  perdition,  till  I  talk 
to  you.  Why  for  don't  you  answer  when  you're  spoken 
to? 

PATRICIA 

[Laughing.']  I'm  waiting  till  you  take  breath,  Father 
aroon. 

O'RAFFERTY 
Don't  answer  me !     Come  down  at  once ! 

PATRICIA 

Easier  said  than  done.     Wait  till  I  turn  on  my  stomach. 
-C    §    > 


ACT    I 

MOYRA 

[Horrified.]     Hold  your  whisht ! 

PATRICIA 

[Disappearing.  ]     I  'm  coming ! 

O'RAFFERTY 

[Anxiously  to  MOYRA.]     Did  she  hear  about  the  mar- 
riage? 

MOYRA 

She  wouldn't  have  been  laughing  if  she  had. 
[A  long,  well  filled  stocking  comes  slowly  down  through 

the  dormer  window.'] 

MOYRA 

[Seeing  it;  shocked  and  indignant. ]     Holy  Saints,  put 
it  in !     [To  O'RAFFERTY.]     Turn  away,  your  Riverence ! 

PATRICIA'S  VOICE 
What's  the  matter  now  ? 

MOYRA 

Your  leg,  you  omadaun!     Yards  of  your  leg!     Put  it 
away,  cover  it  up !     Have  you  no  shame  ? 

PATRICIA'S  VOICE 

Why  for  will  I  be  ashamed  o'  my  leg  ?     Help  me  down ! 

[MOYRA  reaches  for  the  leg  and  takes  hold  of  the  foot. 

She  pulls  at  the  leg  and  it  comes  down  in  her  hand. 

•C  9  3- 


MAVOURNEEN 

She  throws  it  on  ground,  shrieking.  The  stocking  is 
stuffed  with  straw  and  the  open  end  is  tied  up  with  a 
garter.} 

PATRICIA'S  VOICE 
There!     Now  you've  pulled  my  leg  off,  and  how  will 

I  come  down  at  all? 

O'RAFFERTY 
Sure  she's  a  very  imp  o'  devilry!     [Shouting  at  the 

dormer  window.]     Come  down  this  instant  minute !     [No 

answer.] 

MOYRA 
[Crosses  to  O'RAFFERTY.]     Och,  my  heart's  in  my 

mouth.     Now  we  must  fetch  a  ladder. 

[Enter  PATRICIA  through  the  turret  door.  She  is  in  a 
short  skirt,  and  has  only  one  stocking  on.  Her  hair 
tumbles  wildly  about  her;  her  clothes  are  covered  with 
the  dust  of  the  roof;  she  carries  her  shoes  in  her  hand.] 

PATRICIA 
[At  door.]     What  will  you  want  a  ladder  for? 

MOYRA 

[To  PATRICIA;  speechless.]  Oh,  you!  —  Oh,  you! 
[She  hugs  and  kisses  her.]  You  young  devil!  [To 
O'RAFFERTY.]  Saving  your  presence.  And  look  at  the 
state  you're  in!  [She  dusts  her.]  And  only  one  stock- 
ing! 


ACT    I 

PATRICIA 

[Flinging  her  shoes  in  a  corner.]  We'll  soon  put  that 
right.  [She  sits  on  a  stool  and  whips  off  the  other  stock- 
ing; which  she  throws  at  MOYRA.]  There ! 

MOYRA 

[Picking  up  the  stockings  and  shoes  and  putting  them 
out  of  sight.]  Och,  you  contrairy  critter! 

O'RAFFERTY 

[To  PATRICIA,  sententiously.]  Now,  Lady  Patricia, 
perhaps  you'll  be  telling  us  what  you  was  doing  in  that 
unusual  and  precarious  position. 

PATRICIA 

[Sitting;  quite  calmly.]  Oh,  there's  a  nest  of  house- 
martins  up  there,  and  a  fledgling  had  fallen  out  of  it  be- 
fore 'twas  ready,  and  was  lying  on  the  grass  unable  to 
take  wing,  with  the  old  birds  fluttering  round  it,  nearly 
mad  with  sorrow.  So  I  had  to  put  it  back,  of  course. 
[Rises.]  Wouldn't  you  have  done  the  same? 

MOYRA 

[Laughing.]      If  pigs  could  fly? 

O'RAFFERTY 
[Severely,  to  MOYRA.]     Speak  for  yourself.     [To  PA- 

.-c  11  > 


MAVOURNEEN 

TRICIA.]     What's  the  use  of  all  my  learning  you  manners, 
if  the  upshot's  that  you  climb  roofs  like  a  —  like  a  — 

PATRICIA 

Like  a  fairy — ? 

O'RAFFERTY 

[Severely.]  That  was  not  the  word  I  was  thinking 
of. 

PATRICIA 

[Takes  his  arm.]  That  wasn't  your  teaching,  Father 
darling;  that  was  Daddy's.  Ever  since  I  was  born  a  girl 
he's  been  making  a  boy  of  me. 

O'RAFFERTY 

Till  you're  neither  fish,  flesh,  fowl,  nor  good  red  her- 
ring. 

PATRICIA 

[With  an  elaborate  curtsey  and  an  entire  change" of 
manner.]  I  crave  pardon,  Reverendissime!  I  can  be 
any  one  of  them  according  to  my  company.  [She  hands 
him  his  fiddle  and  bow.~\  Oh,  here's  your  fiddle,  Father 
aroon.  Play  up!  and  see  whether  the  grace  have  gone 
out  o'  me. 

MOYRA 

Eh!  do  now!  'Tis  a  pure  joy  to  be  watching  her  and 
listening  to  you. 


ACT     I 

O'RAFFERTY 

No,  no !  [Clears  his  throat.]  Moyra  is  wishful  to  be 
talking  to  you. 

MOYRA 

[Eagerly.]  Not  I!  Not  I!  'Tis  his  Riverence 
would  have  a  word  with  you ! 

PATRICIA 

[Forcing  the  fiddle  on  him.]  Play  and  talk,  Father; 
and  I'll  dance  and  listen. 

O'RAFFERTY 
[Sits  on  one  of  the  stools.     He  plays  softly  a  stately 

dance   and   talks    tenderly    through   the   music,   while 

PATRICIA  dances.] 

Forget  your  tomboy  ways,  then.  The  wild  bogs  van- 
ish; the  ruined  castle's  gone;  Moyra's  room  is  a  stately 
hall.  You're  dressed  in  silver  and  gold,  and  on  your 
neck  are  glittering  gems.  'Tis  not  a  poor  parish  priest 
playing  a  cracked  fiddle,  but  the  music  floods  you  like  the 
waves  when  you  swim.  Do  you  see  the  great  ladies  curt- 
seying? Do  you  see  the  Lords  bowing  till  their  plumes 
touch  the  floor  ? 

PATRICIA 

[Dancing.]  I  see  — !  I  see  — !  Moyra  [curtseys 
to  MOYRA],  you  are  the  Queen,  and  I  bow  to  you  and  bend 

•CMS. 


MAVOURNEEN 

to  you!     [To  O'RAFFERTY.]     Was  it  like  that  at  the 
court  in  Portugal  when  you  was  there? 

O'RAFFERTY 

Ay,  was  it !  Hark !  I  put  the  sun  in  my  tune !  Hark 
again !  —  That's  the  young  Princess,  so  sweet  and 
stately;  that's  Catherine  of  Braganza. 

PATRICIA 
She  that  is  now  Queen  of  England? 

O'RAFFERTY 

She,  herself,  God  save  her!  [Alluding  to  his  fiddle.] 
Hark  to  her!  So  gracious,  so  timid!  Hark  to  her; 
speaking  to  me  as  kindly  as  though  I  was  the  Holy  Father 
himself. 

PATRICIA 
[Still  dancing.]     Was  it  lovely  at  court,  Father? 

O'RAFFERTY 

Ay,  was  it !  With  the  King  and  Queen  on  their  golden 
throne  — ! 

MOYRA 
[Rocking  herself  in  ecstasy.]     Glory  be  to  God! 

PATRICIA 

And  is  it  as  lovely  at  the  court  of  King  Charles  ? 

•c  "  a- 


ACT    I 

O'RAFFERTY 

[Still  play  ing. 1  No  doubt,  no  doubt;  though  King 
Charles  is  a  heretic.  God  grant  his  gentle  Queen  may 
open  his  heart. 

PATRICIA 
[Dancing. ]     I  want  to  go  to  court,  Father. 

O'RAFFERTY 

[Stopping  his  playing  abruptly.]  Eh — ?  I  nearly 
dropped  my  fiddle. 

PATRICIA 

[Making  a  rhyming  jingle  of  it.']  I  want  to  go  to 
court;  I  want  to  see  the  King;  I  want  to  love  the  little 
Queen,  and  wear  a  golden  ring. 

MOYRA  ^ 

Begob !     It's  the  pothery  she's  making  up ! 

PATRICIA 
'Tis  the  song  I  sing  in  my  mind  all  the  day  long. 

O'RAFFERTY 

[Crossing  to  MOYRA — slyly.]  Who  knows,  eh,  Moyra? 
Perhaps  when  she's  married?  [Insisting.]  Eh,  Moyra? 

MOYRA 
Leave  me  be. 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

Married  ?     How  will  I  be  married  in  this  wilderness  ? 

O'RAFFERTY 
[  To  Mo YR A  .  ]     Now,  woman ! 

MOYRA 

[To  O'RAFFERTY.]     Play  up,  then,  to  give  me  heart! 
[O'RAFFERTY  plays  an  Irish  jig.] 

PATRICIA 

[Clapping  her  hands  with  delight.]     O,  Father!     A 

jig-' 

[She  dances.] 

MOYRA 

[Working  herself  up.]  Eh!  That  makes  the  blood 
run !  Here  comes  an  Irish  lad  a-wooing !  and  he  has  your 
father's  good  will;  and  he'll  take  his  Irish  bride  to  Lon- 
don town,  and  dance  with  her  before  the  King.  And  it's, 
oh !  but  the  Lords  and  the  Ladies  stand  agape,  to  see  the 
smile  upon  your  face,  the  beauty  of  your  shape !  [She, 
herself,  has  fallen  into  the  rhythm  of  the  jig  as  well  as  her 
old  bones  will  allow  her.]  Whirroo-whoo ! 

PATRICIA 

[Comes  to  her,  laughing  out  loud.]     Moyra !     Moyra ! 
Is  it  mad  you've  gone  all  at  once? 
[They  all  three  dance.] 

•C  16> 


ACT    I 

MOYRA 

[With  increasing  excitement.']  Play,  Father,  play! 
Dance  acushla,  dance !  Round  about  and  up  and  down ! 
Dance  into  your  bridal  gown?  For  your  father's  said 
the  word,  and  the  wedding  bells  are  heard  —  Soon,  very 
soon,  You  shall  be  a  wife  aroon.  Father  here  the  Mass 
will  sing !  You  shall  wear  the  wedding  ring !  —  At  the 
wedding  feast  so  gaily,  I  shall  curtsey.  Oh,  my  lady  — 
oh,  my  lady —  [with  an  outburst.]  Tim  O'Reilly! 

PATRICIA 

[Violently.]     Stop! 

[O'RAFFERTY  ends  abruptly  on  a  hideous  discord.  He 
has  been  as  excited  as  MOYRA.  'Now  the  old  couple  are 
images  of  abject  fear.] 

PATRICIA 

[Speaks  with  dangerous  calmness.]  What  name  was 
you  pleased  to  mention  ? 

MOYRA 

[Anxiously.]     Play,  your  Riverence! 
[He  tries  to  begin.] 

PATRICIA 

[To    O'RAFFERTY,    forgetting    her    manners.]     Hold 
your  whisht!     [To  MOYRA.]     Now,  Moyra! 
[O'RAFFERTY  sneaks  to  the  dresser  and  picks  up  his  hat.] 

•C  17  > 


MAVOURNEEN 

MOYRA 

Did  I  mention  a  name  ? 

PATRICIA 

You  said  Tim  O'Reilly  — 

MOYRA 

Then  why  for  do  you  ask  me? 
[O'RAFFERTY  is  sneaking  away.] 

PATRICIA 

[Sternly.']     Father!     Stay  where  you  are! 

[O'RAFFERTY  Stops  short.] 

[Looking  from  one  to  the  other.]     Is  this  a  joke  betune 
you? 

[Pause  —  they  hang  their  heads  guiltily."] 
It's  no  joke,  I  see. 

O'RAFFERTY 

You're  —  you're  coming  on  in  years.     Your  father  — 
[At  a  loss  for  words,  he  blows  his  nose.] 

PATRICIA 
[Refusing  to  help  him  out.]     Yes? 

O'RAFFERTY 
He  wishes  you  well ;  he's  for  setting  you  up  — 

rC  is  3- 


ACT    I 

PATRICIA 

He's  for  clearing  me  out  o'  the  place;  is  that  it? 

O'RAFFERTY 
A  widowman's  house  is  no  place  for  a  young  girl. 

PATRICIA 

That  depends  on  the  widowman.  But  leave  that. 
[To  MOYRA.]  You  mentioned  Tim  O'Reilly. 

MOYRA 

A  slip  o*  the  tongue. 

PATRICIA 

[Walking  up  to  O'RAFFERTY.]  Do  you  mind  the  time 
I  laid  my  horsewhip  across  him  for  trying  to  kiss  me  ? 

O'RAFFERTY 
[Backing  away  —  weakly.]     Did  ye  now  ? 

PATRICIA 

Did  I?  I  did  so.  What's  wrong  with  you  both? 
[Looks  at  them  both.]  It's  serious  earnest  is  it,  and  my 
father  wants  me  to  marry  that  blathermuskite  ? 

MOYRA 
So  his  River ence  says. 

O'RAFFERTY 
So  your  father  says. 

•c  »»> 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

[To  MOYRA.]  And  Daddy  asked  you  to  broach  the 
glorious  news? 

MOYRA 

[Hastily. ~\     Asked  his  Riverence. 

PATRICIA 

Dad's  frightened  and  sends  his  Reverence;  and  he's 
frightened  and  puts  it  on  my  nurse;  and  she's  so  fright- 
ened she  has  to  work  herself  into  Saint  Vitus's  dance  be- 
fore she  can  speak.  You  poor  souls !  —  Now,  let's  be 
reasonable.  [She  sits  on  a  stool.]  I'll  ask  you  one 
question;  and  if  you  answer  "Yes,"  I'll  pleasure  my 
father. 

O'RAFFERTY 

It's  an  angel  you  are  entirely  to  take  it  so  sweetly. 

MOYRA 

[To  O'RAFFERTY.]  Whisht,  your  Riverence,  there's  a 
little  devil  in  the  corner  of  her  eye. 

O'RAFFERTY 

[To  PATRICIA  who  is  sunk  in  thought.]  Ahem !  —  the 
question  ? 

PATRICIA 

[Takes  MOYRA'S  hands.]     Yes.     Moyra  — 
[MOYRA  kneels  at  PATRICIA'S  side.] 
-C  20  > 


ACT     I 

You  nursed  my  mother,  and  you  saw  me  born.  You've 
spent  your  life  loving  me,  and  giving  me  a  clean  soul  in 
a  clean  body  — 

MOYRA 

Glory  be  to  God! 

PATRICIA 

Father ! 

[He  comes  up  to  her.~\ 

You've  taught  me  all  I  know ;  and  what  is  it  you  call  me, 
Father? 

O'RAFFERTY 

[With  deep  tenderness.']  The  apple  of  my  eye  and  the 
pride  of  my  soul.  Avourneen ! 

PATRICIA 

Now  comes  the  question;  and  you  are  to  answer  as  if 
my  dead  mother  was  listening  — 

[All  cross  themselves.] 

which    she    is.     Can    I    marry    Timothy    O'Reilly  ?  — 
Moyra  ?  —  Father  ? 

O'RAFFERTY 
[After  a  great  struggle,  explodes.]     By  the  powers  — 

Begorra !     No ! 

[Together.] 

No! 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

[Gets  up  laughing.]  Why,  there's  an  end  o'  the  mat- 
ter then,  and  let's  say  no  more  about  it. 

O'RAFFERTY 

[Ruefully.']  Och,  Pat !  It's  the  father  of  you  will  be 
saying  things,  and  doing  'em,  too!  He'll  keep  you  on 
bread  and  water  till  you  consent. 

PATRICIA 

[Facing  him.]  Have  you  ever  got  anything  out  of  me 
by  force? 

O'RAFFERTY 
[With  conviction.]     Divil  a  thing! 

MOYRA 
But  what  will  you  do,  alanna  ? 

PATRICIA 

[Laughing.]     I'll  appeal  to  King  Charles. 

O'RAFFERTY 

[Goes  to  the  dresser,  picks  up  his  fiddle,  bow,  and  hat.] 
And  him  in  London  Town !  You  might  as  well  say  you'll 
appeal  to  the  Great  Mogul. 

PATRICIA 

[Dreamily,  wrapt  in  the  new  idea.]  London  Town 
isn't  at  the  world's  end. 

-C  22  > 


ACT    I 

O'RAFFERTY 

[Coming  to  her.]  And  what,  av  you  please,  am  I  to 
say  to  your  father  ? 

PATRICIA 
Oh,  Man  of  Eternity,  temporise ! 

O'RAFFERTY 

Whirra,  Whirra !  Twill  be  a  bad  quarter  of  an  hour, 
and  you  may  expect  his  Lordship  here  as  fast  as  flogged 
horses  can  bring  him!  What  he'll  say  to  you,  and  do 
to  you,  I  won't  even  hint  at.  [He  is  going,  but  turns 
back.]  But  you  —  nothing  rash.  Nothing  headstrong! 
Mind! 

PATRICIA 

[Lost  in  thought.]  No :  I'll  think  it  out :  I'll  think 
it  out. 

O'RAFFERTY 

Think  of  the  house-martin  that  fell  out  of  its  nest.  / 
cannot  climb  roofs  to  put  you  back.  There,  there !  [He 
puts  his  hands  on  her  head.]  God's  blessing  on  you, 
acushla ! 

[PATRICIA  crosses  herself.] 

[He  wipes  his  eyes.]     Well,  well? 

[Exit.] 
[PATRICIA  waits  a  moment;  then  turns  excitedly  to  MOYRA 

who  is  sobbing.] 

•     23 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

Moyra !     How  much  money's  in  the  stocking? 

MOYRA 
Glory  be  to  God,  what's  in  the  wind  now  ? 

PATRICIA 

[Shakes  her  —  laughing.]  Oh,  you  —  you  Irish- 
woman !  —  will  you  answer  a  question  ? 

MOYRA 

Sure  'tis  an  elegant  kiahtha  of  goold. 

PATRICIA 

Show  me  the  stocking,  woman,  show  it ! 

MOYRA 

'Tis  under  the  flure.  [She  comes  from  the  fire,  ladle 
in  hand  to  the  centre  of  the  room,  where  she  kneels  and 
begins  prizing  the  board  up  with  the  handle  of  the  ladle.] 

PATRICIA 

I  know  it.  I  want  to  see  it!  [To  herself,  rapt.~\ 
London's  not  at  the  world's  end.  [She  kneels.] 

MOYRA 

Don't  fooster  me.  Wait  till  I  get  the  board  up,  bad 
cess  to  it. 

•C  24  > 


ACT     I 

[MoYRA  lifts  the  board  up  and  produces  a  stocking  foot, 
filled  with  gold  and  tied  with  a  piece  of  twine.] 

MOYRA 

[Holding  up  the  stocking  foot.]  Here  'tis.  As  your 
sainted  mother  gave  ut  me.  "  For  Patricia/'  says  she, 
with  her  dying  breath ;  "  for  Patricia,  when  she  comes  to 
need  it." 

PATRICIA 

And  I  need  it  now !     Tell  me  how  much  it  is ! 

MOYRA 
A  hundred  and  twenty  goolden  broadpieces. 

PATRICIA 

A  hundred  and  twenty  broadpieces?  Why,  that's  a 
fortune !  But  are  you  sure  ? 

MOYRA 

A  hundred  and  twenty  it  was,  when  it  was  put  there, 
and  why  for  should  it  be  less  now  ? 

PATRICIA 

Count  it!     Count  it!     No!     Let  me!     Turn  it  out! 
[MOYRA  turns  out  the  gold  on  the  floor;  PATRICIA  counts 
feverishly.] 

PATRICIA 

Sh !     Softly !     Five  —  ten  —  fifteen  —  twenty  — 
(THE  SCENE  CHANGES) 
-C   25   > 


MAVOURNEEN 

SCENE  II 

[The  picturesque ,  galleried  courtyard  of  the  Bear  Inn, 
Drury  Lane.  The  great  gate  is  at  the  back,  and  the 
street  is  visible  beyond  it.  Entrance  to  the  stable 
on  the  left;  entrance  to  the  house  on  the  right. 
Under  the  galleries  are  rough  tables,  stools  and  bar- 
rels.] 

[A  Maid  is  airing  a  counterpane  on  the  balcony.     MON- 
TAGU is  leaning  over  the  balcony.     The   DRAWER  is 
polishing  a  table.] 
[The  Host  comes  out  of  the  house  door  on  the  right.] 

HOST 

Lively  now.     There's  been  a  battle  at  the  cockpit,  and 
the  quality  will  be  here  anon,  clamouring  for  wine. 

DRAWER 
Ay,  ay,  Lord  Berkeley,  Lord  Ashley,  Lord  Bristol  — 

HOST 
[With  emphasis.]     And  the  Duke  of  Buckingham! 

DRAWER 

The  tan  gets  in  their  throats.     They'll  have  a  pretty 
thirst  on  'em  — 

[Shouting  without  and  a  mob  passes  at  the  back.] 
-C  26  > 


ACT     I 

HOST 

There !     'Tis  out !     God  send  us  no  rabble. 
[Enter  at  the  back  BUCKINGHAM,  BRISTOL,  ASHLEY  and 
BERKELEY.] 

DRAWER 

[Up  L.~]  The  rabble  know  the  Bear  in  Drury  Lane  is 
a  house  for  their  betters. 

HOST 

[Seeing  BUCKINGHAM.]     The  Duke  himself! 
[The  HOST  meets  the  gentlemen  obsequiously.] 

BUCKINGHAM 

[To  BRISTOL.]  Fairly  won,  Bristol;  your  red  dun 
didn't  know  when  he  was  beaten. 

BRISTOL 

Ay,  Gad,  Buckingham;  yet  your  Shropshire  red  was  a 
good  bird. 

BERKELEY 

[Entering  arm  in  arm  with  ASHLEY.]  Oh,  Ashley, 
how  much  more  profitable  is  a  good  cock  fight  than  a 
beastly  theatre ! 

BRISTOL 

Why  tell  us  what  we  all  know,  Berkeley  ? 
-C  27  > 


MAVOURNEEN 

BUCKINGHAM 

Come,  you  bubbling  rogues,  what  shall  we  wash  the 
dust  away  with  ?     Rhenish  ? 

ASHLEY 

Foh!     Too  sour  on  the  stomach. 

BUCKINGHAM 

Hippocras  then? 

BRISTOL 

Ay:  claret  and  spice,  and  all  things  nice,  in  one  glori- 
ous gurgle ! 

BUCKINGHAM 

D'ye  hear,  Host? 

HOST 

At  once,  my  lord. 

[He  runs  into  the  Inn.~\ 

BERKELEY 

Ay  —  ay  —  Your  cockfights  are  all  very  well,  but  they 
lack  the  essential. 

ASHLEY 
Mention  it. 

BERKELEY 

Woman. 

-C  28   3- 


ACT    I 

BUCKINGHAM 

Han't  you  had  your  fill  of  her,  Charles  ? 
[HOST  and  DRAWER  bring  wine.] 

ASHLEY 

Not  he ;  for  like  a  good  retriever,  he  don't  hunt  for  him- 
self, but  for  his  master. 

BERKELEY 

[Stiffly. ]     I  trust  you  are  jesting,  Anthony. 

BRISTOL 

Ah !  here's  the  liquor ! 

ASHLEY 

[To  BERKELEY.]  Look  not  so  glum  for  a  little  rail- 
lery, Charles.  And  here's  the  twenty  pieces  your  bird 
won.  [He  spreads  them  on  table.'] 

BERKELEY 

[Pocketing  the  money.]  At  that  rate  you  can  jest  all 
night. 

BUCKINGHAM 

[Raising  his  cup.]     The  King! 
[All  remove  their  hats.] 
And  destruction  to  his  enemies ! 

[They  light  long  clay  pipes  at  a  small  lantern  which  the 
HOST  has  brought.] 

-C  29  > 


MAVOURNEEN 

BRISTOL 

[Laughing.]  Faith,  that's  drinking  to  him  and  against 
him  in  one  draught,  for  poor  Rowley  is  his  own  worst 
enemy. 

BUCKINGHAM 

I  meant  the  Dutch,  George. 

BRISTOL 

Well,  and  they'd  not  be  his  enemies,  but  for  his  folly 
in  marrying  the  Portugal  woman. 
[Enter  SIDNEY  MONTAGU  from  the  house.     He  stands 

and  listens.] 

ASHLEY 

Ay,  they  fear  the  Papists. 

BRISTOL 

That  marriage  has  brought  him  foes  nearer  home  than 
the  Dutch. 

BUCKINGHAM 

[Laughing.]  Ay.  Every  woman  he  has  ever  loved 
thirsts  for  his  blood. 

BERKELEY 

And  chiefest,  Babs  Castlemaine. 

MONTAGU 

Gentlemen  — 
[They  all  turn.] 

-C  30  > 


ACT     I 

BUCKINGHAM 

Young  Sidney  Montagu !     Well  met ! 

MONTAGU 

The   Countess   of   Castlemaine  honours  me  with  her 
friendship  — 

BRISTOL 
Already  ? 

MONTAGU 

And  I  hope  no  one  here  will  say  ought  against  her. 

BERKELEY 

Contrariwise !     We  have  reason  to  speak  well  of  her. 

ASHLEY 

The  very  best  reason. 

BUCKINGHAM 

In  token  whereof,  we'll  drink  to  the  lady. 
[He  declaims.] 

Fair  Castlemaine  no  grief  shall  know 

No  peril  o'er  her  hover ; 
For  never  a  man  can  be  her  foe, 

Since  every  man's  her  lover ! 
[All  laugh.-] 

MONTAGU 

I  am  now  to  the  court,  gentlemen ;  but  I've  lived  where 

•c  «  > 


MAVOURNEEN 

women  are  reverenced,  and  where  that  reverence  is  en- 
forced with  the  sword. 

BUCKINGHAM 

[Rises  and  places  his  hand  familiarly  on  MONTAGU'S 
shoulder.]  Sit  and  drink,  boy,  and  don't  show  so  much 
plaguey,  crop-eared  virtue.  'Tis  out  of  mode,  now 
Charles  has  come  into  his  own  again. 

MONTAGU 

If  I  took  you  too  gravely  'tis  that  I  am  in  a  grave 
humour,  and  so  I  wish  you  a  good  day. 
[There  is  a  commotion  at  the  great  gate.] 

BERKELEY 

The  Castlemaine  herself,  by  all  that's  prodigious. 
[To  MONTAGU.]  Now  you  can't  go! 

MONTAGU 

[Laughing.]  I  will  stay,  to  hear  what  you  say  to  her 
face. 

BERKELEY 

No  worse  than  we  say  behind  her  back,  I  warrant  you. 
[LADY  CASTLEMAINE'S  chair  is  brought  in.  ASHLEY  hur- 
ries to  open  it.  LADY  ROBERTS  and  LADY  MYDDLETON 
follow.  The  ladies  carry  their  masks  in  their  hands 
and  hold  them  to  their  faces  as  they  enter  the  Inn- 
yard.] 

-C  32  > 


ACT     I 

ASHLEY 

[Helping  LADY  CASTLEMAINE  out  of  her  chair.]     My 
Lady  Castlemaine  — ! 

CASTLEMAINE 

Ashley !     Egad,  ladies,  we're  in  luck. 

BRISTOL 

[With  a  mock  bow.]     Queen  of  Hearts. 

BERKELEY 

Queen  of  Beauty ! 

BUCKINGHAM 

Astrea  and  her  Nymphs. 
[The  ladies  curtsey.] 

CASTLEMAINE 

More  fine  speeches  than  ever  I  heard  in  a  pot-house 
before. 

MYDDLETON 

Oh,  Barbara,  you'll  not  go  into  an  inn! 

CASTLEMAINE 

Where  else  should  I  go  when  I'm  thirsty? 

ROBERTS 

But  there  are  men  here. 

-C   33   3- 


MAVOURNEEN 

CASTLEMAINE 

Don't  we  know  'em? 

BRISTOL 

[Leading  MYDDLETON  and  ROBERTS  down  to  one  of  the 
tables.]  Nymphs  and  Dryads  by  the  universe!  Come 
in  fearlessly.  The  company's  good;  the  hour  propitious; 
and  the  wine  —  er  —  passable. 

CASTLEMAINE 

Thou  ancient  iniquity!  [She  sees  MONTAGU  who  had 
retired  under  the  gallery.]  Who  is  that  standing  mum- 
chance  ? 

BUCKINGHAM 

Oh,  happy  Montagu,  her  Grace  of  Castlemaine  con- 
descends to  ask  who  you  are! 

MONTAGU 

[Coming  forward.]  I  dare  not  recall  myself  to  her 
Grace's  memory. 

CASTLEMAINE 

Faith!  'Tis  the  pretty  fellow  I  met  at  supper  last 
night.  You  may  kiss  my  hand. 

MONTAGU 

[Doing  so.]     That  your  Grace  should  remember! 

•C  s*  3- 


,  ACT    I 

CASTLEMAINE 

Oh !  I  have  a  good  memory  for  young  faces. 
[To  BRISTOL.]      Tis  the  old  ones  I  am  apt  to  forget. 
[To  MONTAGU.]     I  desire  your  better  acquaintance. 

BUCKINGHAM 

But  what  shall  we  wet  these  pretty  lips  with?  Sher- 
ris  sack?  Rhenish?  What  you  will? 

CASTLEMAINE 

[Taking  up  one  of  the  cups  and  smelling  it.]     Hip- 
pocras  ?     Gad !     Hippocras  for  us  —  eh,  Roberts  ? 
[BUCKINGHAM  instructs  the  HOST,  who  fetches  it  with 

the  DRAWER.] 

ROBERTS 

No,  faith,  I  couldn't !     Indeed  and  truly. 

ASHLEY 

[To  ROBERTS.]     Afraid  to  wash  away  the  last  kiss? 

ROBERTS 

Fie !     At  least  'twas  not  yours. 

CASTLEMAINE 

Tush !  We're  out  for  a  frolic ;  let's  be  natural.  These 
are  all  proper  fellows  who  tell  no  tales.  Put  thy  blushes 
with  thy  pulvilic  —  and  thou,  too,  Myddleton.  Are  we 
country  hoydens  ? 

•C   35   > 


MAVOURNEEN 

MYDDLETON 

[Laughing.]     Oh,  Babs,  and  our  reputations? 

CASTLEMAINE 

Why,  Gad !  If  we  ran  after  our  reputations,  we  should 
be  out  of  breath  'ere  we  caught  'em ! 

BRISTOL 
And  then  you  wouldn't  know  'em  again. 

CASTLEMAINE 

They'd  be  black  enough  if  you'd  touched  'em. 

BUCKINGHAM 

[Points  to  a  stool  by  a  small  table. ,]  Here,  my  Queen, 
is  your  throne  and  [attempting  to  sit  next  to  her]  I 
will  be  your  slave ! 

CASTLEMAINE 

[Waving  him  aside.]  No,  no!  [Indicates  MONTAGU.] 
My  prince  shall  sit  here. 

BUCKINGHAM 

[When  they  are  all  seated.]  And  now;  what  brings 
you  all  to  Drury  Lane? 

ASHLEY 

I  warrant  'twas  Love. 

•C  36  3- 


ACT    I 

CASTLEMAINE 

No.     Lilly. 

ASHLEY 

Love  and  lilies;  a  fair  conjunction. 

CASTLEMAINE 

Lilly,  the  astrologer,  jackanapes. 

BRISTOL 

Gad!     Have  you  had  your  horoscope  cast?     Did  he 
find  me  in  your  fair  hands  ? 

CASTLEMAINE 

No.     I  had  washed  'em. 

BRISTOL 

Cruel !     [Moves  to  the  big  table  and  sits  in  front  of  it."] 

CASTLEMAINE 

He  was  but  a  dull  dog  to-day.     Could  speak  of  nought 
but  portents  from  the  low  countries. 

BUCKINGHAM 

Aha !     The  Dutch  anger  at  the  King's  marriage  ? 

CASTLEMAINE 

Oh,  Gad!     The  Portugal  woman!     As  if  she  could 
move  the  stars ! 

•C   37   > 


MAVOURNEEN 

BUCKINGHAM 

Well  —  she's  put  your  nose  out  of  joint,  pretty  Babs! 

MONTAGU 

[Indignantly.]     My  lord  — ! 

BUCKINGHAM 

Ay,  I  forgot.  [To  CASTLEMAINE.]  Here's  a  new 
champion  for  you.  He's  for  slitting  our  livers  whenever 
we  speak  of  you. 

CASTLEMAINE 

Why?     Do  ye  speak  so  ill? 

ASHLEY 

Contrariwise.     He  thought  we  spoke  too  well. 

CASTLEMAINE 

[To  MONTAGU.]  I  thank  you,  sir.  But  you  must 
never  take  Buckingham  more  seriously  than  he  takes  him- 
self. He's  made  a  jest  of  life,  and  he'll  die  on  the  point 
of  it.  [BERKELEY  laughs.]  As  for  Berkeley  —  who 
minds  a  candlestick? 

BERKELEY 

[Rising."]     A  candlestick,  madam? 

CASTLEMAINE 

Does  not  a  candlestick  hold  the  candle? 
•C  38  > 


ACT     I 

BUCKINGHAM 

We'd  best  hold  our  tongues  when  Babs'  is  wagging; 
for  'tis  brisk. 

BERKELEY 

And  poisoned. 

CASTLEMAINE 

I  fight  with  whatever  weapons  are  used  against  me. 

MONTAGU 

In  a  right  cause. 

CASTLEMAINE 

You  are  new  to  the  court,  sir  ? 

MONTAGU 

To  the  court  of  England,  ay,  Madam.     I  am  lately 
from  France. 

CASTLEMAINE 

You  must  not  believe  the  worst  my  friends  say  of  me. 

MONTAGU 

Whoever  sees  you,  believes  what  he  sees,  and  loves 
what  he  believes. 

BUCKINGHAM 

[To  BERKELEY.]     Gad!     We're  too  many  here! 
•C  ™  > 


MAVOURNEEN 

CASTLEMAINK 

Very  prettily  put,  and  it  were  well  if  these  barbarians 
had  a  little  of  your  gallantry. 

BRISTOL 

You  do  well  to  be  kind  to  him,  now  that  you  have 
leisure  from  court. 

CASTLEMAINE 

Oh,  venerable  George,  you  shall  see  me  at  court  again, 
ere  the  week's  out. 

BERKELEY 

If  I  see  that  I'll  eat  my  hat. 

CASTLEMAINE 

You  shall  not  only  see  it,  but  bring  it  about  —  Sir 
Pandarus. 

BERKELEY 

[Indignantly.]      Madam  — ! 

CASTLEMAINE 

[Contemptuously.']  Did  I  call  you  out  of  your  name? 
[To  MONTAGU.]  You  and  I  must  grow  better  ac- 
quainted. 

MONTAGU 

I  am  your  servant  always. 

'•C   «  >" 


ACT     I 

CASTLE  MAINE 

Wait  on  me  at  supper  to-night.     I  shall  be  alone. 

MONTAGU 

I  would  'twere  sunset! 

ROBERTS 

Egad,  Babs  takes  the  shortest  cut ! 

MYDDLETON 

Surrenders  ere  she  be  summoned. 

ROBERTS 

And  takes  the  besieger  captive. 

BUCKINGHAM 

For  egad,  we  must  toast  the  lovers!     [Cup  in  hand.] 
Here's  to  the  fortunate  twain. 

MONTAGU 

[Laughing.']     Oh,  have  your  jest.     We'll  not  listen. 

BRISTOL 

[Rises.]     Omnia  vincit  amor!     Love  softens  the  fire- 
eater. 

BUCKINGHAM 

An  epithalamium !     Silence !     Silence ! 


MAVOURNEEN 

Chaste  moon — 'tis  broad  daylight,  but  I  claim  poetic 
licence  — 

Chaste  moon,  pale  sovereign  of  the  night, 
Look  down  with  favour  on  thy  votaries, 

Who  celebrate  the  nuptial  rite 

Without  a  priest,  or  church,  or  notaries. 

[Laughter    and    applause.     Meanwhile    MR.    and    MRS. 

PEPYS  have  entered,  arm  in  arm,  at  the  back,  followed 

by  MERCER.] 

PEPYS 

[To  his  wife.]     Company,  Elizabeth.     Well  go  else- 
where. 

MRS.    PEPYS 

La,  they  won't  eat  us !     Let  us  see  life. 

BUCKINGHAM 

[Seeing    them.']     What!     My    good    friend,    Master 
Samuel  Pepys  — ! 

PEPYS 
[Stiffly.']     Your  servant,  my  lord!     Come,  Elizabeth. 

BUCKINGHAM 

No,  no,  Master  Secretary.     If  you've  found  a  treasure, 
let  us  share  your  good  fortune. 

PEPYS 
[Severely.]     My  wife. 

•C  42  3- 


ACT     I 

BUCKINGHAM 

Present  me  to  virtue  then ;  for  'tis  plaguey  scarce. 

PEPYS 

[Unwillingly.]     His  Grace  the  Duke  of  Buckingham. 
[BUCKINGHAM  bows.     PEPYS  tries  to  lead  his  wife  away. 
ASHLEY  stops  them,  and  then  BERKELEY.] 

THE    OTHER    MEN 

[Except  MONTAGU.]     And  me !  and  me ! 

PEPYS 

[To  ELIZABETH.]     Ill  never  take  you  abroad  again. 
Sir  Charles  Berkeley,  Lord  Ashley,  Lord  Bristol  — 
[MONTAGU  has  risen.] 

MONTAGU 
Sidney  Montagu,  at  your  service. 

PEPYS 
Sir  Sidney  — 

MONTAGU 

[Laughing.]     No,  no.     Plain  ensign. 

* 

CASTLEMAINE 

Are  you  forgetful  of  old  friends,  Mr.  Pepys  ? 
-C  43  > 


MAVOURNEEN 

PEPYS 

[To  himself.]  Oh,  curse  it!  [Clumsily.]  Madam, 
I  had  not  dared  — 

CASTLEMAINE 

Present  your  wife. 

PEPYS 
She  is  but  a  simple  soul,  your  Grace. 

MRS.  PEPYS 
[Taking  off  her  mask.]      La,  Samuel  — 

CASTLEMAINE 

A  damned  pretty  soul,  though.      [To  her,  very  gra- 
ciously.]    I   am   Babs   Castlemaine,   and   these   are   my 
friends,  Mrs.  Myddleton  and  Mrs.  Roberts. 
[Elaborate    curtseys.     The    women    take    MRS.    PEPYS 

apart.] 

PEPYS 

[Furious.]     The  devil  take  the  woman! 

BUCKINGHAM 

[Enjoying  his  discomfort.]  What's  the  matter,  Mr. 
Pepys  ?  Are  you  proud  of  the  honour  shown  your  pretty 
wife? 

PEPYS 

Too  much  honour  —  too  much  honour. 
-C  44  > 


ACT     I 

BERKELEY 

And  where  do  you  hail  from  now? 

PEPYS 
The  King's  theatre,  Sir  Charles. 

BERKELEY 

What  was  played? 

PEPYS 

[Contemptuously.]  Oh,  Hamlet,  of  Shakespeare.  I 
had  hoped  for  Polichinello,  but  they  changed  the  bill  after 
we  had  paid. 

BRISTOL 
Well  done? 

PEPYS 

Too  well,  sir.  It  was  all  set  out  in  scenes  as  if  it  had 
been  an  Italian  opera.  Lord !  the  expense  they  go  to  now. 
Not  in  the  spirit  of  Shakespeare,  sir!  They  used  not 
these  excesses  when  I  was  a  boy. 

BERKELEY 

But  a  fine  play,  what  ? 

PEPYS 

'Tis  the  fashion  to  say  so.     But  were't  not  for  the 
acting  of  Betterton  as  the  Danish  Prince,  'twould  be  but 
a  poor  thing.     [He  imitates  BETTERTON.]     "  Unhand 
-C  45  > 


MAVOURNEEN 

me,  gentlemen.     By  heaven,  I'll  make  a  ghost  of  him  who 
lets  me.     Lead  on,  I'll  follow !  " 

[The  men  applaud.     The  ladies  laugh.] 

Ah,  Betterton's  a  great  man! 

BRISTOL 
Ay,  but  Shakespeare  — 

PEPYS 

[Confidentially,  to  BUCKINGHAM.]  And  who  should 
we  see  come  upon  the  stage  but  my  wife's  late  woman, 
Gosnell.  A  pretty  creature;  I  vow.  But  look  at  the 
favouritism  of  your  theatrical  folk !  Though  she  hath  as 
tuneful  a  voice  and  as  straight  a  leg  as  any  of  them  — 

BUCKINGHAM 

Experto  Credo! 

PEPYS 

[With  a  glance  at  his  wife.]  Mum,  sir !  —  Well,  not  a 
song  would  they  give  her,  nor  a  dance. 

ASHLEY 

Too  bad !     They  are  afraid  of  her. 

PEPYS 
So  I  told  her.     For  I  went  to  her  tiring  room  — 

ASHLEY 

Dog! 

-C  46   > 


ACT    I 

PEPYS 

[Sanctimoniously.']  But,  Lord!  To  see  the  paint 
and  powder,  and  to  hear  the  way  the  saucy  wenches  talk, 
do  make  a  man  grieve !  * 

CASTLEMAINE 

[Comes  down  with  MRS.  PEPYS.]  Mr.  Secretary,  why 
have  you  never  brought  this  fair  creature  to  court? 

PEPYS 
Hum  —  we  are  plain  folk,  your  Grace. 

CASTLEMAINE 

[To  MRS.  PEPYS.]  Faith,  you  shall  come  under  my 
wing. 

MRS.  PEPYS 
La !     Samuel  would  never  let  me. 

CASTLEMAINE 

Ay ;  and  you  shall  dance  a  coranto  before  Charles  him- 
self. 

PEPYS 
[Crossly. ]     She  doesn't  dance. 

CASTLEMAINE 

Oh,  foh !  [To  MRS.  PEPYS.]  I'll  put  you  in  the  way 
of  the  best  dancing-master  in  town. 

*  Pepys's  Diary. 

•C  47  > 


MAVOURNEEN 

PEPYS 

[Takes  his  wife's  arm.]  Come,  Elizabeth,  'tis  high 
time  we  went  home.  Footpads  are  abroad. 

MRS.  PEPYS 
La,  Samuel,  'tis  seldom  enough  I  see  company. 

BUCKINGHAM 

[Takes  PEPYS  by  the  arm.]  Nonsense,  Master  Sec- 
retary !  You  have  not  drank  yet ! 

PEPYS 

Sir!     I  have  vowed  not  to  touch  wine  till  Christmas. 

BUCKINGHAM 

[Holding  a  cup  under  his  nose.]  A  draught  of  Hip- 
pocras,  though ! 

PEPYS 

Hum  —  a  mixed  compound  drink,  and  therefore  not 
any  wine.  Well,  God  forgive  me.  [Takes  the  cup.] 
The  King !  [He  lifts  his  hat.] 

ASHLEY 

[To  MRS.  PEPYS  while  PEPYS  is  drinking.]  When 
may  one  see  this  paragon  again?  [He  takes  her  hand.] 

MRS.  PEPYS 
La,  sir ;  ask  my  husband. 

•C  48  > 


ACT     I 

ASHLEY 

[Laughing.]     Egad,  no !     That's  not  the  idea ! 

[A  rabble  of  street-boys  runs  on  laughing  and  shout- 
ing. Enter  PATRICIA  on  horseback,  at  the  back.  She 
is  dressed  as  a  young  man,  and  cuts  a  gallant  figure. 
She  is  travel-stained,  and  the  horse  is  woebegone.] 

[BRISTOL  comes  forward.  The  landlord  comes  out  of  the 
Inn  door.] 

BERKELEY 

Oho!     More  company! 

BRISTOL 

Something  from  the  shires. 

PATRICIA 

[With  a  swagger.]     House!     House!     What,  House! 
[To  BRISTOL,  who  is  laughing  at  her.]     Are  you  the 
landlord  ? 

BRISTOL 
[Furious.]     I  am  not,  sir! 

PATRICIA 
Well  —  fetch  him.     [She  dismounts.] 

HOST 

Here,  your  worship. 

•C  49  3- 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

Your  best  room;  your  best  supper.     [To  the  DRAWER.] 
And  you,  fellow,  look  well  after  this  good  beast. 
[The  DRAWER  leads  the  horse  off  into  the  stable.] 

BUCKINGHAM 

[To  his  group,  who  are  watching  amused.]  The  Duke 
of  Turnitops,  I  warrant. 

HOST 

[Indicates  the  entrance  to  the  Inn.]  Will  your  wor- 
ship step  this  way  ? 

PATRICIA 

Not  I,  faith.  I'll  sup  out  o'  doors.  'Tis  as  much  as  I 
can  do  to  breathe  at  all  in  this  foul  city  of  yours. 
[Points  to  the  small  table.']  Lay  supper  here. 

HOST 
[Deprecatingly.]     The  quality,  sir  — 

PATRICIA 

Do  as  I  bid  you,  or  I  seek  another  house.     Presto. 
[She  sits  on  the  bench  behind  the  table.] 

CASTLEMAINE 

A  vastly  personable  boy ! 

MONTAGU 

[Jealous  at  once.]     An  impudent  puppy! 

•C  so  3- 


ACT    I 

BUCKINGHAM 

We'll  roast  him. 
[The    maid    brings   food   for    PATRICIA,    who    at    once 

falls  to.] 

HOST 

And  what  will  your  honour  please  to  drink? 

PATRICIA 
Clear  spring  water,  if  such  a  thing's  to  be  had. 

HOST 
'Tis  to  be  had,  but  gentlemen  never  call  for  it. 

PATRICIA 
7  have  called  for  it.     Get  it ! 

[The    HOST   shrugs    his   shoulders   contemptuously   and 
exit.] 

[BUCKINGHAM  comes  to  PATRICIA  who  is  eating  raven- 
ously.] 

BUCKINGHAM 

[With  mock  civility.]     Young  gentleman  — 

PATRICIA 

[With  her  mouth  fullf  not  looking  up.]     Servant. 

BUCKINGHAM 

No  doubt  your  worship's  honour  is  newly  from  foreign 
parts  ? 

<  «  3- 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

[As  before.]     No  doubt. 

BUCKINGHAM 

And  your  worship's  honour,  judging  by  your  honour's 
worship's  horse,  is  a  person  of  great  consequence? 

PATRICIA 

Ye're  a  young  man  of  some  perspicacity.  I  am  that. 
As  for  the  horse,  I'm  glad  you  like  him,  for  I  want  to  sell 
him. 

BRISTOL 

Faith!  If  you  throw  in  the  saddle,  I'll  offer  —  a 
shilling. 

PATRICIA 

[Eyeing  him  up  and  down.]  And  where  will  you 
borrow  the  shilling? 

CASTLEMAINE 

[With  a  laugh.]     Take  that,  Bristol. 

ASHLEY 

[Coming  to  PATRICIA.]  No  doubt  your  worship  has 
important  business  at  court? 

PATRICIA 

[Eating,  unperturbed.]     I  have  so. 
-C  52  3- 


ACT    I 

ASHLEY 

And  may  we  know  what  it  is  ? 

PATRICIA 

My  own. 

CASTLEMAINE 

Checkmate,  Ashley.  [To  MONTAGU.]  I  vow  to  Gad, 
a  pretty  wit. 

MYDDLETON 

1  love  his  rosy  cheeks. 

ROBERTS 

And  his  bright  eyes,  then! 

MONTAGU 

[Furious;  swaggers  up  to  PATRICIA.]  Do  you  think 
it  is  good  taste  to  thrust  yourself  thus  amongst  gentlemen 
who  do  not  desire  your  company? 

PATRICIA 

[Looks  up  for  the  first  time;  gazes  straight  into  his 
face;  speaks  with  the  utmost  amiability.']  Young  gentle- 
man, let  me  assure  you,  they  cannot  desire  mine  less  than 
I  theirs. 

[MONTAGU  leaves  her  with  an  angry  gesture."] 
-C   53   > 


MAVOURNEEN 

BERKELEY 

[To  PATRICIA.]     Young  sprig,  let  me  give  you  good 
advice  — 

PATRICIA 

[Resuming  her  meal.]     If  you  can  spare  it. 

BERKELEY 

Learn  to  address  your  betters  with  more  respect. 

PATRICIA 

Sure  an*  I  will,  when  I  find  'em. 

BUCKINGHAM 

Oh,  leave  the  dull  dog. 

ASHLEY 

Ay,  we're  neglecting  Venus.     [To  MRS.  PEPYS.]     A 
word —  [He  takes  her  apart.] 

PEPYS 
[Calls.]     Mercer! 

MERCER 

[Comes  forward.]     Ay,  sir. 

PEPYS 

Bid  your  mistress  make  ready  for  home  at  once,  good 
wench. 

-C  54  > 


ACT     I 

MERCER 

His  Lordship  is  talking  to  her. 

PEPYS 

Damn  it,  Mercer,  that's  why.  [As  MERCER  turns  to 
go.]  Mercer.  [She  turns  back;  he  looks  cautiously 
round,  then  pinches  her  cheek.']  That's  all  —  at  present. 
[MERCER  goes  up  to  MRS.  PEPYS  and  ASHLEY.] 

MONTAGU 

[To  LADY  CASTLEMAINE.]     So  then,  to-night  — 
[LADY  CASTLEMAINE  is  watching  PATRICIA  and  trying  to 
attract  her  attention.] 

CASTLEMAINE 

[Indifferently.]  To-night? —  O,  ay;  we'll  speak  of  it 
again. 

[She  crosses  to  PATRICIA,  leaving  MONTAGU  furious.] 

CASTLEMAINE 

[Leaning  over  PATRICIA'S  table.]  I  like  your  looks, 
young  gentleman. 

PATRICIA 

[Eating.]  I  would  have  said  the  same  to  you,  had 
you  given  me  time. 

CASTLEMAINE 

Will  you  make  room  for  me  on  your  bench? 
'•C   55   > 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

[Continuing  her  meal.]     Oh,  as  much  as  you  like. 

CASTLEMAINE 

Nay  —  not  too   much.     [She   sits   beside   PATRICIA.] 
You  must  take  no  heed  of  these  giddy  lords. 

PATRICIA 

Are  they  lords  ?     Look  at  that,  now !     Drinking  in  an 
ale-house. 

CASTLEMAINE 

Now,  you  and  I  must  be  friends. 

PATRICIA 

Willingly.     What  is  your  name? 

CASTLEMAINE 

[Laughing.]     You  go  straight  to  the  matter ! 

PATRICIA 

'Tis  the  nearest  way. 

CASTLEMAINE 

Rogue !     Do  you  always  take  that? 

PATRICIA 

Sure,  if  I  want  to  get  anywhere. 
•C   56  > 


ACT     I 

CASTLEMAINE 

[Tapping  PATRICIA'S  fingers.]     Fie!     You  are  a  dan- 
gerous boy. 

PATRICIA 

[Honestly  amazed.]     Dangerous?     How? 

CASTLEMAINE 

Oh,  I  know  —  and  so  do  you.     But  you  asked  my 
name. 

PATRICIA 

An  hour  ago. 

CASTLEMAINE 

[Watching  him.']     I  am  the  Countess  of  Castlemaine. 

PATRICIA 

[Drinking:    speaks     into     her    cup  —  unimpressed.'] 
Yes? 

CASTLEMAINE 

[With  a  slight  hesitation."]     Have  you  never  heard  of 
me? 

PATRICIA 

Sorrow  a  thing.      [Thinks  that  rather  rude,  and  looks 
at  her  ingratiatingly.']     But  now  I  shall  never  forget  you. 

CASTLEMAINE 

Prettily  answered.     And  how  smooth  the  rogue's  cheek 
is.      [She  strokes  it.]     And  what  is  your  name ? 
•C  57  3- 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

Patri  —  [Coughs.]  Patrick  —  Patrick  O'Brien  — 
your  servant. 

CASTLEMAINE 

Patrick  shall  be  my  servant,  if  he  will.  [Moves 
closer.]  You  would  not  tell  those  sparks  your  errand; 
will  you  tell  me  ? 

PATRICIA 

Gladly.  I  am  come  out  of  Ireland  to  seek  my  fortune 
at  court. 

CASTLEMAINE 

And  I  will  see  that  you  find  it. 

PATRICIA 

[Not  at  all  grateful.]  Thank  you;  but  my  ambition 
was  to  serve  the  Queen. 

CASTLEMAINE 

Foh!  The  Portugal  woman  would  only  hinder  your 
fortune.  I  can  make  you. 

PATRICIA 
[Puzzled.]     How  is  that  possible? 

CASTLEMAINE 

[Laughing.]  You  shall  see !  [She  rises  and  turns  to 
the  others.]  Buckingham,  here  is  a  young  gentleman 
who,  by  his  merits,  should  go  far. 


ACT    I 

BUCKINGHAM 

I  doubt  not  that  with  your  guidance  hell  go  farther 
than  he  dreams  of. 

MONTAGU 

[Who  has  been  watching  CASTLEMAINE  with  increasing 
jealousy,  to  PATRICIA.]  An  Irish  fortune  hunter,  I  per- 
ceive. 

[All  scenting  a  quarrel,  become  attentive."] 

PATRICIA 
Do  we  hunt  in  couples,  sir? 

MONTAGU 

Are  you  as  ready  with  your  sword  as  with  your  tongue  ? 

PATRICIA 
[Calmly,  still  seated.]     Oh !  much  readier ! 

MRS.  PEPYS 

[To  PEPYS  —  frightened.]     La !     Samuel ! 

« 

MONTAGU 

[Drawing  his  sword.~\     Out  with  it,  then! 

CASTLEMAINE 

[Protecting  PATRICIA.]  Ruffian !  Draw,  in  the  pres- 
ence of  ladies  against  a  stripling ! 

59 


MAVOURNEEN 

MONTAGU 

[Sulkily.']     Very     well,     Madam!     [To     PATRICIA.] 
You  shall  escape  nothing  by  hiding  behind  a  petticoat. 
[Drums  and  shouts  in  the  distance.] 

PATRICIA 

[Jumping  to  her  feet.]  Begorra !  [Banging  the 
table.]  Hiding  behind  a  petticoat  is  what  I'm  not  doing 
just!  And  I'm  ready  when  you  are!  [She  draws.] 

MONTAGU 

[Speechless.]     When  I  am! 
[They  fight.] 

MIDDLETON 

[Near  the  gate.]     Hark!     A  commotion  in  the  street ! 

[Trumpets  sound.     Halberdiers  are  seen  running  past. 
Stones  fly.] 

HOST 
The  Queen !     The  Queen !     Stop  the  fight ! 

[Cries  "Down  with  the  Papists."     The  fight  is  inter- 
rupted.] 

BERKELEY 

There  is  nothing  to  fear.  'Tis  only  the  Queen  with 
the  customary  rabble  at  her  heels. 

PATRICIA 
The  Queen !     In  danger  ? 

•C  eo  3- 


ACT     I 

BERKELEY 

Faith !     I'll  not  risk  my  skin  for  her. 

PATRICIA 

For  shame !  Mr.  Montagu,  since  you  thirst  for  blood, 
will  you  fight  for  the  Queen  ? 

MONTAGU 

Foregad,  yes ! 

[They  hurry  up  to  the  gate  and  fight  the  mob.~\ 
[THE  QUEEN'S  chair  appears  at  the  gate.  Portuguese 
gentlemen  are  at  her  side  with  drawn  swords,  keeping 
off  the  mob  who  press  on  her.  The  chair  is  hurriedly 
brought  into  the  courtyard.  Portuguese  Lords  and 
Ladies  enter.  The  Ladies  sink  fainting  into  chairs. 
The  Lords  attend  them.  As  soon  as  the  chair  is  in  the 
courtyard  THE  QUEEN  jumps  out.] 

THE     QUEEN 

[With  a  strong  Portuguese  accent.]  Here!  Ah! 
Gracas  a  Deus.  Here  are  friends!  [She  finds  herself 
face  to  face  with  CASTLEMAINE  —  she  shrinks  away.~\ 
Oh! 

CASTLEMAINE 

[With  a  mock  curtsey;  insolently.]  Your  usual  tri- 
umph, Majesty? 

[PATRICIA  and  MONTAGU  have  driven  the  mob  off.] 

-c  «  > 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

[Staggering.]     That's  done. 

THE    QUEEN 

I  thank  you,  young  gentleman. 

PATRICIA 

[Sheathing  her  sword.]  'Twas  nothing,  Madam. 
You  saw  how  the  rogues  ran ! 

THE    QUEEN 

You  shall  come  with  me  to  the  King;  he  shall  hear  'ow 
you  'ave  been  ver'  brave,  ver'  generous.  [With  a  look 
at  BUCKINGHAM  and  the  rest.~\  Ah,  Senhor,  you  are  the 
first  Englishman  'oo  'as  shampioned  me. 

PATRICIA 

I'm  not  an  Englishman,  your  Majesty,  I'm  an  Irish- 
man. [She  takes  off  her  hat,  with  a  magnificent  bow; 
her  glorious  hair  falls  all  about  her.]  And  a  faymale  at 
that! 

[Stupefaction.] 

[PATRICIA  kneels  and  kisses  THE  QUEEN'S  hand.] 

HALF    THE    ONLOOKERS 

[To  CASTLEMAINE,  laughing.]     Oh,  Babs,  Babs! 

THE    OTHER    HALF 

[  To  MONTAGU.  ]     Oh,  Montagu ! 

THE    CURTAIN    FALLS 

-C  62  > 


ACT  II 


ACT  II 

A  Hall  in  Whitehall.  At  the  back  an  arched  opening  up 
two  steps,  giving  access  to  a  transverse  corridor.  On 
the  right,  in  the  centre  of  the  wall,  a  beautiful  carved 
fireplace;  on  the  mantelshelf  a  monumental  clock  in 
ormolu,  above  it  the  Vandyke  portrait  of  Charles  I. 
Below  the  fireplace  are  two  tall  windows  and  above 
it  two  similar  windows,  these  look  out  on  the  Thames. 
On  the  left,  a  small  door.  In  a  corner  stands  an  easel, 
on  which  is  an  unfinished  portrait  of  Charles  II.  An 
artist  \in  court  dress]  is  at  work  on  it.  Round  the 
walls  are  gilt  tables,  stools  and  chairs.  The  room  is 
lighted  by  sconces  against  the  walls  and  by  a  beautiful 
Venetian  glass  chandelier  hanging  in  the  centre. 
These  all  carry  long  thin  candles  of  unbleached  wax. 

The  candles  in  the  sconces  are  unlighted,  the  chandelier 
is  lighted. 

As  the  curtain  rises,  CHIFFINCH,  a  small  man  in  a  black 
suit,  comes  out  of  door  L.  backwards  bowing  low,  and 
speaking  into  the  inner  room. 
•C  65   > 


MAVOURNEEN 

CHIFPINCH 

His  Majesty  will  be  here  anon,  my  Lord.  [He  closes 
the  door  and  crosses  the  hall,  towards  the  fireplace.] 
But  His  Majesty's  not  here,  and  'tis  seven  o'  the  clock! 

AN  USHER 

[On  the  step  under  the  arch.]     Mr.  Samuel  Pepys. 
[Enter  PEPYS   down   the   steps.     He   carries   a  leather 
folio,  crammed  with  papers.] 

CHIFFINCH 

[Meeting  him.]  Ah!  By  appointment,  I  think? 
[He  holds  out  his  hands.] 

PEPYS 

[Putting  his  hands  behind  him;  coldly.]  By  the 
King's  Gracious  command,  Mr.  Chiffinch. 

CHIFFINCH 

Ay.  [Indicating  the  small  door.]  Lord  Clarendon  is 
already  in  attendance. 

PEPYS 

[Moving  towards  the  door.]  Then  I  will  wait  on 
Lord  Clarendon. 

CHIFFINCH 

One  moment.     His  lordship  is  to  see  the  King  alone. 
-C  66  > 


ACT     II 

PEPYS 

[Huffily.]     He  is  on  the  same  business  as  I. 

CHIFFINCH 

My  orders,  Mr.  Pepys. 

USHER 

Lord  Arlington. 

[Enter  LORD  ARLINGTON.     He  is  a  tall,  thin  man  pre- 
ternaturally  grave  and  solemn.     He  has  a  scar  across 
his  nose,  covered  by  a  black  patch,  in  the  form  of  a 
lozenge.']  * 
[The  artist  bows  to  ARLINGTON  and  exit  C.] 

ARLINGTON 

[To  PEPYS.]     Ah,  Mr.  Secretary  — 

[He  bows  elaborately.     PEPYS  returns  the  salute.  ] 

No  ill  news,  I  trust  ? 

PEPYS 
Of  serious  consequence,  my  Lord. 

ARLINGTON 

A  pity  it  comes  to-night,  then;  for  his  Majesty  is  pre- 
occupied with  other  matters. 

PEPYS 
[Hotly.  ]     They  cannot  be  more  grave  than  this. 

*  Grammont. 

•C  67  3- 


MAVOURNEEN 

ARLINGTON 

[Severely.]     That  is  for  the  King  to  judge,  sir. 

USHER 
The  King. 

[Enter  KING  CHARLES  II  preceded  and  followed  by 
grooms  with  lighted  candelabra.  The  grooms  remain 
in  the  corridor.  The  KING  comes  down  briskly  to 
ARLINGTON  L.  of  him- — he  looks  for  a  moment  at  his 
picture,  smiles  and  taps  the  artist  approvingly  on  the 
shoulder.  The  artist  exit.] 

[PEPYS  retires  bowing  low  —  the  USHER  moves  back  to 
his  position.'] 

CHARLES 

[To  ARLINGTON  —  confidentially.']     Well?     Have  you 
spoken  with  her  ? 

ARLINGTON 

[Very  gravely."]     I  have  conveyed  your  Majesty's  com- 
mands.    She  will  wait  on  your  Majesty. 

CHARLES 
A  roguish  eye  and  a  tempting  lip,  eh? 

ARLINGTON 

Sire,   you   know    I    cannot   see   beyond   one   pair   of 
eyes. 

•C  68  > 


ACT     II 

CHARLES 

[Laughing.]  Ay!  the  faithful  husband!  Odds  fish, 
man,  don't  be  so  uxorious !  \_He  sees  PEPYS.]  Ah,  Mr. 
Secretary  ? 

PEPYS 

[Advancing,  with  low  bows.]  Grave  news  of  the 
Dutch,  sire. 

CHARLES 

Plague  on  'em!  I  know,  I  know.  [To  CHIFFINCH.] 
Is  Lord  Clarendon  here? 

CHIFFINCH 

[Indicating  the  small  door.]  Awaiting  your  pleasure, 
sire. 

CHARLES 

[To  ARLINGTON.]  My  pleasure! — [To  PEPYS.] 
Mr.  Secretary,  I  have  a  few  words  for  Clarendon  in  pri- 
vate. 

PEPYS 
Only  one  question,  sire. 

CHARLES 

[Impatiently.']  Well?  Well?  But  Clarendon  will 
scold  me  for  being  late. 

PEPYS 

We  shall  need  an  emissary  to  Breda.     Have  I  your 
gracious  leave  to  send  for  Ensign  Montagu  ? 
•C   69   3- 


MAVOURNEEN 

CHARLES 

Is  it  a  weighty  matter? 

PEPYS 
Very;  but  he  hath  an  old  head  on  young  shoulders. 

CHARLES 

I  love  a  young  head  on  old  shoulders  —  but  send  for 
him. 
[PEPYS  bows,  goes  up  to  the  USHER  and  whispers;  the 

USHER  exit.] 

CHARLES 

[Beckons  ARLINGTON  to  him.]  Harkee,  when  she 
comes,  sound  her;  sound  her;  give  her  a  little  fatherly 
advice. 

ARLINGTON 

Your  Majesty,  I  will  warn  her. 

CHARLES 

[Laughing.]     Warn  her !     No,  no,  no ! 

ARLINGTON 

Warn  her  of  the  high  fortune  in  store  for  her. 

CHARLES 

Ay,   that's    better.     Yet   cautiously.     She's    new   and 
skittish.    Play  her,  Arlington,  play  her  —  [With  a  sigh.] 
Well!     Now  for  Clarendon.     [To  PEPYS.]     You  shall 
-C  70  > 


ACT     II 

come  soon;  for,  to  speak  truly,  I'm  in  haste  to  be  rid  of 

you  both. 

[CHARLES  exit,  through  the  small  door,  CHIFFINCH  going 
out  backwards  before  him.'] 

[The  footmen  in  the  corridor  exeunt  with  their  can- 
delabra.] 

[The  USHER  returns  to  his  post,  but  is  only  seen  inter- 
mittently.] 

PEPYS 

[To  ARLINGTON.]     How  is  the  Queen,  my  lord? 

ARLINGTON 

[Indifferently.']  Oh,  so,  so;  so,  so.  The  climate,  sir, 
is  not  in  her  favour. 

PEPYS 
Not  gravely  ill,  I  trust? 

ARLINGTON 

I  trust  not.     But  she  would  be  better  out  of  England. 

PEPYS 

Poor  woman.  [More  confidentially.]  My  lord,  is  it 
true  the  Countess  of  Castlemaine  has  been  summoned  to 
court  again? 

ARLINGTON 

Certainly, 

-C  71   > 


MAVOURNEEN 

PEPYS 

Then  I  don't  wonder  the  Queen  has  took  to  her  bed. 

ARLINGTON 

[Severely.']  The  Queen,  sir,  has  many  prudish  preju- 
dices ;  but  my  Lady  Castlemaine's  reign  will  be  short  this 
time. 

PEPYS 

Oh !     How  do  you  mean  ? 

ARLINGTON 

You  are  a  man  of  discretion,  Mr.  Pepys.  [Takes  his 
arm  confidentially.']  There  is  a  new  beauty  at  court. 
If  you  wish  yourself  well,  get  into  favour  with  her;  for 
in  a  month's  time  —  but  I  say  no  more. 

PEPYS 
I  could  wish  the  King  more  constancy. 

ARLINGTON 

Impossible.  The  Queen?  A  blackamoor,  and  in  ill 
health.  Castlemaine  ?  Satiety,  sir.  Satiety  kills  love. 

PEPYS 

[Laughing.']  'Tis  fortunate  you  do  not  practise  as  you 
preach. 

ARLINGTON 

I,  sir?     Do  you  know  my  wife? 
•C  72  3- 


ACT     II 

t 

PEPYS 

I  have  not  that  advantage. 

ARLINGTON 

When  you  know  her  you  will  understand.  Beauty  in 
its  full  perfection,  sir.  Such  hair !  Such  eyes !  Such 
lips,  ripe  for  kissing !  And  such  a  figure !  I  vow  to  gad, 
sir, —  but  I  will  not  be  more  precise. 

PEPYS 

The  true  artist  ever  leaves  something  to  the  imagina- 
tion; but  have  you  no  moments  of  anxiety  in  a  court  so 
full  of  intriguing  gallants  ? 

ARLINGTON 

Every  one  of  'em's  perishing  of  love  for  her,  and  I  am 
proud  of  it!  But  she  and  I  laugh  at  'em!  And  I  am 
sly,  sir;  confounded  sly.  I  nurse  her  love  for  me. 
How?  With  gifts  at  her  altar.  'Tis  a  profound  truth 
that  gifts  foster  love.  Only  to-day  —  guess  what  I  gave 
her  to-day  ? 

PEPYS 

'Tis  beyond  me. 

ARLINGTON 

A  pair  of  stockings. 

PEPYS 
Ah! 

•C  73  >' 


MAVOURNEEN 

ARLINGTON 

That  sounds  nothing.  But  a  p^air  of  green  stockings ! 
A  pair  of  green  silk  stockings !  What  do  you  think  o' 
that? 

PEPYS 

I  think  of  it  with  —  admiration. 

ARLINGTON 

And  fit!  My  very  dear  friend,  if  you  could  only  see 
how  they  fit ! 

[Enter  CHIFFINCH.] 

CHIFFINCH 

Mr.  Secretary,  his  Maj  esty  — 

PEPYS 

[To  ARLINGTON.]     Faith,  my  lord,  the  green  stockings 
had  put  the  Dutch  fleet  out  o'  my  head. 
[Exit  followed  by  CHIFFINCH.] 
[The  USHER  enters  announcing.'] 

USHER 

Lady  Patricia  O'Brien!  [PATRICIA  appears  on  the 
steps. ~\ 

ARLINGTON 

[With  a  superb  bow,  from  where  he  stands. ~\  Ah! 
So  Venus  appeared  to  tineas ! 

-C  74  > 


ACT     II 

PATRICIA 

Faith,  a  poor  compliment,  my  lord,  for  she  was  his 
mother!  [She  comes  down.] 

ARLINGTON 

Ay ;  that's  the  laugh  that  has  stirred  somebody's  heart. 

PATRICIA 

[Eagerly.]     Who  is  "  somebody,"  my  lord? 

ARLINGTON 

Mum!  For  the  moment  he's  occupied.  Even  Kings 
have  their  dull  moments.  There!  I've  said  it!  Clar- 
endon and  Mr.  Pepys  are  with  him.  Tedious  stuff! 
Fleets;  ammunition,  provender;  the  Lord  knows  what! 
But,  presently  — !  Lilies,  eh?  and  Roses,  what? 

PATRICIA 
And  what  can  the  King  want  with  me  at  all  ? 

ARLINGTON 

Patience,  patience.     Chiffinch  will  fetch  you  anon. 

PATRICIA 
I  don't  like  Chiffinch ;  an  oily  little  man. 

ARLINGTON 

Oh,  tut,  tut!  You  must  like  Chiffinch;  Chiffinch  can 
make  you  or  mar  you. 

•C   75   3- 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

Thank  you  for  nothing;  I'm  made  already;  I'm  the 
Queen's  woman,  and  I  love  her,  and  I  am  very  happy. 

ARLINGTON 

Foh !     That's  all  nothing  to  what's  coming. 

PATRICIA 

What  do  you  mean?     What's  coming? 

ARLINGTON 

You'll  see,  you'll  see.     Now,  stand  still;  let  me  look 
at  you  ? 

[He  walks  round  her,  examining  her  critically.] 

PATRICIA 
[Turning  with  him.']     What  is  there  to  look  at,  at  all? 

ARLINGTON 

Your  dress. 

PATRICIA 

[Alarmed,  lest  the  hooks  be  undone.]     Ow ! 

ARLINGTON 

I  am  an  authority  on  dress.     Have  you  seen  my  wife  ? 

PATRICIA 

Not  that  I  know  of. 

-C  76  > 


ACT    II 

ARLINGTON 

Ah,  you'd  know,  if  you  had.  The  loveliest  woman  in 
the  world !  and  'tis  I  dress  her. 

PATRICIA 
Has  she  no  tiring-woman? 

ARLINGTON 

I  mean  I  choose  her  materials,  oversee  the  designs, 
combine  the  colours.  Result:  [Kissing  the  tips  of  his 
fingers.]  perfection!  —  You'll  do;  you'll  do.  Now,  curt- 
sey. 

PATRICIA 

[Bobs  a  countrified  curtsey.]     Why  for  will  I  curtsey? 

ARLINGTON 

Ah?  You  don't  know  how ?  Watch  me.  [Curtseys.] 
So.  1.  2.  3.  4. 

[PATRICIA  bursts  out  laughing.] 
The  newest  mode.     Copy  that. 

PATRICIA 

I'll  take  it  on  trust. 

ARLINGTON 

No,  no!  Try  it  with  me.  [They  curtsey  to  each 
other.] 

[Enter  CHIFFINCH.     He  bursts  out  laughing.] 
77 


MAVOURNEEN 

CHIFFINCH 

My  lord! 

[PATRICIA  goes  up  to  the  KING'S  picture  and  practises  the 
curtsey.] 

ARLINGTON 

[With  great  dignity.]     Mr.  Chiffinch! 

CHIFFINCH 

The  King,  my  Lord,  commands  you  to  him. 

ARLINGTON 

With  this  lady? 

CHIFFINCH 

No,  not  yet.  Lord  Clarendon  and  Mr.  Pepys  are 
plaguing  the  King  out  of  his  life.  Some  point  has  arisen 
which  you  can  clear  up. 

[PATRICIA,  practising  her  curtseys  ends  by  sitting  ab- 
ruptly on  the  floor.  The  two  men  hurry  to  pick  her 
up.] 

ARLINGTON 

[To  PATRICIA.]     Careful!     Careful!     There!     Prac- 
tise your  curtsey ;  and  practise  a  smile ! 
[PATRICIA  smiles  ruefully  and  sits  on  a  stool  at  the  back 

of  the  stage."] 
[ARLINGTON  exit.     CHIFFINCH  is  just  following  him,  when 

enter  MONTAGU  hurriedly;  he  comes  down  rapidly."] 
•C  78  3- 


ACT     II 

MONTAGU 

[To  CHIFFINCH.]     You,  there!     The  King  has  sent 
for  me.     Mr.  Sidney  Montagu. 

CHIFFINCH 

[Highly  offended.']    I  know  nothing  of  you,  sir.    Wait, 
wait. 
[Exit.] 

MONTAGU 

[Raging.]     A  plague  on  antechambering  and  impudent 
menials. 

PATRICIA 
[Where  she  is  sitting.]     So  say  I  just. 

MONTAGU 

[Turning  sharply.]     I  crave  your  pardon,  Madam!     I 
had  not  seen  you. 
[PATRICIA  rises,  coming  down  sweeps  him  a  magnificent 

curtsey.] 

PATRICIA 

Was  that  well  done,  Mr.  Sidney  Montagu? 

MONTAGU 

You  know  my  name,  Madam?     Faith,  you  have  the 
advantage  of  me ! 

PATRICIA 
Sure  'tis  not  the  first  time. 

•C  79  3- 


MAVOURNEEN 

MONTAGU 

Have  we  met  before  ? 

PATRICIA 
Have  you  forgot  the  inn-yard  a  sennight  since  ? 

MONTAGU 

Oh!  Were  you  with  the  Queen  then?  In  the  to-do  I 
must  have  — 

PATRICIA 
Overlooked  me? 

MONTAGU 

Why,  that  is  the  fact  of  it,  though,  indeed,  I  must  have 
been  blind! 

PATRICIA 

Blind  with  anger,  belike;  for  so  you  seemed. 

MONTAGU 

[Laughing.]  Faith,  I  had  been  made  a  fool  of  by  an 
ugly  little  slip  of  a  girl.  If  you'll  believe  me  she  had 
come  riding  in  in  man's  clothes,  and,  thinking  her  a  man, 
I  had  challenged  her!  The  minx! 

PATRICIA 
[Laughing."]     Do  you  challenge  every  man  you  see? 

MONTAGU 

Ay,  if  I  like  not  his  looks. 

:-c  so  y 


ACT    II 

PATRICIA 

[Imitating  herself  as  a  boy.]     Well,  Mr.  Montagu, 
when  are  we  to  fight  that  duel  ? 

MONTAGU 

We?—-  Eh?  — what!—  It    wasn't  —  it   can't    have 
been  — !     Good  Gad,  was  it  you? 

PATRICIA 
[Bowing  like  a  boy.]     At  your  service. 

MONTAGU 

You,  the  braggadocious,  knock-knee'd  — 

PATRICIA 

Ow! 

MONTAGU 

I  mean,  you,  the  boy  ?     No,  no !     He  was  a  foot  taller. 

PATRICIA 
In  boy's  clothes. 

MONTAGU 

Well!     May  I  everlastingly  — !     Then  there  is  noth- 
ing for  me,  but  to  withdraw.      [He  moves  to  go.] 

PATRICIA 

[Quickly.]     You  are  to  wait  for  the  King's  summons. 

:C  si  3- 


MAVOURNEEN 

MONTAGU 

But  I  have  offended  you. 

PATRICIA 
You  must  not  offend  the  King. 

MONTAGU 

Well  —  I  —  I  crave  pardon  for  addressing  you !     It 
shall  not  occur  again. 

PATRICIA 
Very  well,  sir. 
[A  pause  —  PATRICIA  breaks  into  a  ripple  of  laughter.'} 


Did  you  speak? 

No,  sir. 

You  laughed? 

I  did. 

Why? 

[Protest.']     Oh! 


MONTAGU 


PATRICIA 


MONTAGU 


PATRICIA 


MONTAGU 


PATRICIA 


-C  82 


ACT     II 

MONTAGU 

Because  you've  twice  made  me  look  a  fool? 

PATRICIA 

Oh,  what  man  doesn't  look  a  fool  every  other  day  and 
none  the  worse  for  it! 

MONTAGU 
Men  don't  like  it. 

PATRICIA 
[Insidiously.]  They  who  can't  afford  it;  but  you  can. 

MONTAGU 

How  so? 

PATRICIA 

[Demurely.]     Sure,  with  you  'tis  exceptional. 

MONTAGU 

[Conquered.]     Ah!     You've  kissed  the  Blarney-stone. 

PATRICIA 

Sorrow  a  kiss.     Well?     Am  I  forgiven? 

MONTAGU 

Forgiven  — !     But  I  was  not  to  address  you. 

PATRICIA 

Oh,  the  mischief's  done  now,  and  you  may  as  well  go 
on. 

-C  83  3- 


MAVOURNEEN 

MONTAGU 

Well  —  er, —  so  now  you  are  with  the  Queen? 

PATRICIA 

[Who  had  hoped  he  was  going  to  say  something  more 
interestingf  stiffly.]     I  have  that  hpnour. 

MONTAGU 

[Looking  at  her  keenly,  and  speaking  very  warmly.] 
I  rejoice !     Ah,  I  rejoice !     I  thank  Heaven ! 

PATRICIA 

[Amazed.]     'Tis  vastly  civil  of  you,  but  why  do  you 
speak  so  gravely  ? 

MONTAGU 

I  feared  — 

PATRICIA 

What  did  you  fear? 

MONTAGU 

I     feared  —  [He     breaks     off.]     Lady     Castlemaine 
seemed  much  took  with  you. 

PATRICIA 
Indeed,  she  was  very  gracious  — 

MONTAGU 

Ay ;  plaguey  gracious. 

-C  84  > 


ACT    II 

PATRICIA 

But  I  have  not  seen  her  since  that  day. 

MONTAGU 

[Relieved.]  That's  well.  Oh,  that's  very  good  hear- 
ing! 

PATRICIA 

You  puzzle  me,  sir;  for  you,  yourself,  seemed  on  the 
best  of  terms  with  that  lady. 

MONTAGU 

I !  —  um  —  I  have  not  seen  her  since  that  day,  neither. 

PATRICIA 
How  strange!     Why  not? 

MONTAGU 

[With  a  tinge  of  bitterness  and  a  look  at  the  KING'S 
door.]  Oh  —  she  has  been  better  occupied  —  she  has 
come  back  to  court. 

PATRICIA 

[Seriously.]  Ay;  and  the  Queen  is  vexed.  Mr.  Mon- 
tagu, why  is  the  Queen  vexed  ? 

MONTAGU 

Surely,  Mistress  —  [He  breaks  off.]  Why,  I  don't 
even  know  your  name. 

•C  85   > 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

Patricia  O'Brien,  at  your  service.  My  father  is  Lord 
Belisle. 

MONTAGU 

[With  a  bow.]  Lady  Patricia,  your  very  humble 
servant  to  command.  [They  exchange  bows  and  curt- 
seys.] 

PATRICIA 

[Laughing.]  Oh,  that  would  have  pleased  Lord  Ar- 
lington !  Why  is  the  Queen  vexed  at  Lady  Castlemaine's 
presence? 

MONTAGU 
How  long  have  you  been  at  court? 

PATRICIA 

I  believe  you're  an  Irishman,  too!  You  answer  in 
questions.  I've  been  at  court  a  week. 

MONTAGU 
Then  you  know  very  well  why  the  Queen's  vexed. 

PATRICIA 

Sorrow  a  word. 

MONTAGU 

[After  a  look  at  her.]     Well,  it's  not  for  me  to  tell  you. 
-C  86  > 


ACT     II 

PATRICIA 

I  see  you  still  bear  me  a  grudge.  I  am  sorry,  for  I 
need  a  friend. 

MONTAGU 

You! 

PATRICIA 

I.     Mr.  Montagu,  was  you  ever  in  a  nightmare  ? 

MONTAGU 

Ay;  for  sins  of  gluttony  and  wine-bibbing. 

PATRICIA 

And  in  your  dream  did  you  see  faces;  tens  and  hun- 
dreds of  faces,  peering  at  you  and  leering  at  you ;  till  you 
was  chilled  with  horror;  for,  though  they  smiled,  they 
were  devil's  faces  all  of  'em? 

MONTAGU 
Ah  — ?     Is  that  how  Whitehall  strikes  you? 

PATRICIA 

No  other  way. 

MONTAGU 

Will  you  let  me  ask  you  one  question? 

PATRICIA 

Well? 

-C  87  > 


MAVOURNEEN 

MONTAGU 

I  fear  'tis  impertinent. 

PATRICIA 

Sure  I'll  tell  you  if  it  is. 

MONTAGU 

Then,  what  are  you  doing  here,  alone,  in  the  King's 
wing  o'  the  palace  ? 

PATRICIA 
Kicking  my  heels  and  wondering. 

MONTAGU 

Forgive  me  if  I  insist.     Why  are  you  here? 

PATRICIA 

By  my  truly,  I  know  no  more  than  you.     I  was  sent 
for. 

MONTAGU 

By-? 

PATRICIA 

By  the  King. 

MONTAGU 

Who  brought  the  message? 

PATRICIA 

Lord  Arlington. 

•C  88  3- 


ACT    II 

MONTAGU 

\_An  exclamation  of  anger.]     Hah ! 
\He  strides  to  and  fro  excitedly.] 

PATRICIA 

Why  do  you  say  "  Hah  ";  and  why  do  you  take  those 
great  strides? 

MONTAGU 

Do  you  mean  you  don't  know  why  you  was  sent  for? 

PATRICIA 
Divil  a  bit. 

MONTAGU 

You  can  make  no  guess  ? 

PATRICIA 

Divil  a  guess. 

MONTAGU 

Well,  7  know. 

PATRICIA 

[Eagerly.]     Do  you,  now?  —  then  tell  me  quickly. 

MONTAGU 

[After  a  hesitation.']     I  can't. 

PATRICIA 

[Astonished.]     Why  will  you  make  a  mystery  of  it? 
•C   89   3- 


MAVOURNEEN 

MONTAGU 

[Bitterly •"]  Oh,  'tis  no  mystery,  save  to  yourself. 
Haven't  the  leerings  and  peerings  put  it  into  your  head? 
Hasn't  Lord  Arlington  put  it  into  your  head  ? 

PATRICIA 

[Impatiently. ,]  Put  what  into  my  head?  Speak  plain 
English,  man ! 

MONTAGU 

Do  you  mean  to  say  you  know  nothing  of  King  Charles, 
nothing  of  Arlington,  nothing  of  Chiffinch,  nothing  of  the 
Court? 

PATRICIA 

How  will  I  know  anything  of  'em?  Wasn't  I,  all  my 
life,  at  Castle  O'Brien,  which  sounds  fine,  but  is  a  cowlagh 
with  four  walls  and  half  a  roof  on  a  rock  by  the  sea, 
a  world  away  from  the  world.  By  the  same  token, 
'twas  because  I  knew  nothing,  and  wanted  to  know  all,  I 
put  on  boy's  clothes,  and  slipt  away  with  my  stocking  — 

MONTAGU 

What! 

PATRICIA 

—  The  one  with  the  money  in  it  —  and  sailed  across  the 
channel  and  bought  a  horse  —  you  remember  the  horse  ? 
—  and  rode  to  London  town. 


ACT     II 

MONTAGU 

Will  you  have  my  counsel? 

PATRICIA 

And  thank  you  kindly. 

MONTAGU 

Get  back  into  your  boy's  clothes  again,  and  ride  back, 
and  sail  back,  or  swim  back,  to  Castle  O'Brien;  and  thank 
God  when  you're  under  the  half  of  a  roof  again. 

PATRICIA 

Oh! 

MONTAGU 

That's  my  counsel,  though  'tis  given  against  my  own 
advantage. 

PATRICIA 

[Comes  up  to  him,  coaxingly,  with  her  hand  on  his 
arm.']  How  is  it  against  your  advantage? 

MONTAGU 

[Avoiding  her.]     Never  mind  that.     Perhaps  it  isn't. 

PATRICIA 

[Breaking  away.]  I  tell  you  what,  Mr.  Montagu; 
you're  a  vexing  person.  You  talk  like  everybody  else 
here,  with  a  meaning  at  the  back  of  your  words  that 

•C  M  > 


MAVOURNEEN 

doesn't  show  through.  You're  in  a  mighty  hurry  to  be 
rid  of  me,  and  'tisn't  for  your  advantage  and  'tis  for  your 
advantage,  and  what  am  I  to  make  of  you,  at  all,  at  all? 

MONTAGU 

Are  you  willing  to  take  my  counsel? 

PATRICIA 

Is  it  likely? 

MONTAGU 

You  will  not? 

PATRICIA 

Not  I!  I  love  the  Queen.  The  Queen,  poor  soul, 
seems  to  love  me,  and  'tis  few  enough  she  has  to  love  in 
this  heretic  land. 

MONTAGU 

[Eagerly.]     Are  you  of  her  faith ? 

PATRICIA 
What  else  would  I  be? 

MONTAGU 

So  am  I. 

PATRICIA 

Of  course  you  are. 

MONTAGU 

And  you're  going  through  with  this  mad  adventure? 


ACT     II 

PATRICIA 

I  am,  so.     Why,  man,  don't  you  see  what  a  frolic  'tis? 

MONTAGU 

Frolic !     You  have  no  fear  ? 

PATRICIA 

Fear,  is  it?  Oh,  whirra  have  I  sailed  the  stormy  seas 
in  a  nutshell,  have  I  rode  unbroken  Galway  ponies  over 
stone  walls,  have  I  been  out  o'  nights  on  lonely  moors 
when  the  spirits  of  the  dead  wailed  around  my  ears,  and 
will  I  be  afraid  of  anything  in  Whitehall? 

MONTAGU 

[With  admiration.']  Hah!  —  well  —  will  you  let  me 
be  your  friend,  Lady  Patricia  ? 

PATRICIA 
'Tis  what  I  ask  for,  and  my  friends  call  me  Pat. 

MONTAGU 

Here's  my  hand,  Pat ! 

PATRICIA 

[Gripping  his  hand.]  And  here's  mine,  with  my  heart 
in  it! 

MONTAGU 

[Eagerly.]     Your  heart  —  ? 
[He  half  draws  her  to  him.] 

•C   93   3- 


MAVOURNEEN 

[Enter  LADY  CASTLEMAINE.  PATRICIA  and  MONTAGU 
separate.  From  now  onwards  groups  of  ladies  and 
gentlemen  pass  and  re-pass  along  the  corridor.'] 

LADY    CASTLEMAINE 

[Laughing.']  A  very  pretty  picture,  Mr.  Sidney  Mon- 
tagu! [She  turns  to  PATRICIA.]  Ah?  The  boy-girl  on 
the  horse  of  t'other  night. 

MONTAGU 

[Stiffly.}     Lady  Patricia  O'Brien  - 

LADY    CASTLEMAINE 

[With  an  exaggerated  curtsey.}     Your  servant.     But 

I'll  not  interrupt  you.     I'm  for  the  King. 

[She  crosses  towards  the  KING'S  door.  CHIFFINCH  ap- 
pears, barring  her  way.~\ 

LADY    CASTLEMAINE 

Make  way,  Chiffinch. 

0 

CHIFFINCH 

[Warding  her  off.~\     His  Majesty  is  in  council. 

LADY    CASTLEMAINE 

What  of  it?     Stand  aside. 

CHIFFINCH 

You   must   be    pleased   to    wait.     When   the    council 
-C  94  > 


ACT     II 

rises  the  King  has  commanded  Lady  Patricia  to  attend 
him.     Forgive  me. 

[Exit,  closing  the  door  in  CASTLEMAINE'S  face.] 
[CASTLEMAINE  stands  nonplussed  a  moment;  then  turns 

to  PATRICIA.] 

LADY    CASTLEMAINE 

[Insolently.]     You  ride  fast,  young  mistress. 

PATRICIA 

[Good-naturedly.]     'Tis  the  way  with  Irish  maids. 

LADY    CASTLEMAINE 

Take  care  there  be  no  stone  in  your  path. 

PATRICIA 
Faith,  and  stone  walls  can't  stop  us ! 

LADY    CASTLEMAINE 

Impertinence!     [To  MONTAGU.]     I  have  not  seen  you 
since  a  week. 

[PATRICIA  turns  sharply  to  listen.] 

MONTAGU 
[Very  courteously.]     You  forbade  me  your  house. 

LADY   CASTLEMAINE 

In  a  moment  of  pique.     You  shall  squire  me  home  to- 
night. 


MAVOURNEEN 

MONTAGU 

My  time  is  the  King's. 
[PATRICIA  is  delighted.'] 

LADY  CASTLEMAINK 

I'll  tell  you  what,  sir ;  neither  I  nor  the  King  loves  so 
solemn  a  face  for  our  frolics. 

MONTAGU 

I  am  not  bent  on  frolic,  but  on  fighting. 

PATRICIA 

[Coming       down       eagerly.]     Fighting  —  ?     What? 
Where? 

MONTAGU 

Why,  the  Hollanders  mean  business. 

PATRICIA 

War !  —  Oh,  how  I  envy  you ! 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE 

[Mockingly.']     Why,  don  the  breeches  again,  then,  and 
ride  to  battle. 

PATRICIA 

Begob,  I  wish  I  could ! 
[CHIFFINCH  appears.] 

•C  96  > 


ACT     II 

CHIFFINCH 

Mr.  Sidney  Montagu,  the  King  calls  for  you. 

MONTAGU 

Lady  Patricia,  will  you  not  retire? 

CHIFFINCH 

By  no  means.     His  Majesty  particularly  asked  if  she 
was  waiting. 

PATRICIA 

[To  CHIFFINCH.]     Ay;  and  I  take  it  uncivil  of  him 
to  keep  me  waiting  so  long. 
[CASTLEMAINE    crosses   to   CHIFFINCH,   MONTAGU   goes 

hurriedly  to  PATRICIA.] 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE 

[To  CHIFFINCH.]     Did  you  say  I  was  here? 

MONTAGU 

[To  PATRICIA.]     I  hate  leaving  you  with  her. 

CHIFFINCH 

[To  CASTLEMAINE.]     I  did. 

PATRICIA 

[To  MONTAGU.]     Why? 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE 

[To  CHIFFINCH.]     Well?     What  did  he  answer? 
•C  97  > 


MAVOURNEEN 

MONTAGU 

[To  PATRICIA,  with  a  look  at  CASTLEMAINE.]     Oh!  I 
cannot  say  why. 

CHIFFINCH 

[To     CASTLEMAINE.]     He     did     not     answer.     He 
shrugged  his  shoulders.     Now,  Mr.  Montagu. 

MONTAGU 

[To  him.}     Ay,  ay! 

[He  whispers  to  PATRICIA.]     Be  on  your  guard. 

[Exit  with  CHIFFINCH.] 

LADY  CASTLEMAINK 

[Coming  to  PATRICIA.]     And  how  is  the  blackamoor? 

PATRICIA 

Meaning  ? 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE 

Oh  —  your  Portugal  queen. 

PATRICIA 

The  poor  soul  suffers  —  for  lack  of  love. 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE 

Foh!     How  can  an  ugly  little  wretch  like  that  expect 
love? 

"-C  98  > 


ACT    II 

PATRICIA 

[Coming  up  to  her,  and  speaking  with  earnest  sim- 
plicity.] When  I  rode  into  the  inn-yard  t'other  day, 
you  was  sweet  and  gracious.  What  have  I  done  to 
change  you  ? 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE 

[Carelessly,  avoiding  her  look.]  Oh,  I  am  not 
changed. 

PATRICIA 

By  my  truly  you  are.  I  said  to  myself:  It's  the 
lucky  girl  I  am,  to  have  won  the  favour  of  so  kind  and 
lovely  a  lady.  Why,  then,  do  you  now  belie  your  gentle 
nature,  and  speak  to  me  as  though  you  was  my  enemy? 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE 

[Looking  at  her  closely.]     Girl  —  are  you  jesting? 

PATRICIA 
[Almost  frightened.]     I  know  not  what  you  mean. 

LADY    CASTLEMAINE 

Either  you  are  the  simplest  milkmaid  that  ever  drew 
udder,  or  the  slyest  vixen  that  ever  ran  to  earth. 

PATRICIA 

[With  dignity.]     Neither  of  these.     I  am  but  a  young 
-C   99   3- 


MAVOURNEEN 

girl  who  fears  she  may  have  offended,  for  she  is  new  to 
the  court. 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE 

[Bitterly. ]  God!  how  soon  the  newness  will  wear 
off!  [Relaxing;  condescending.']  I  am  not  vexed  with 
you,  child,  or,  if  I  be,  'tis  your  innocence  hath  vexed  me. 

PATRICIA 
[Puzzled.]     I  cannot  understand  that. 

LADY    CASTLEMAINE 

[With  a  mocking  laugh.]  Can  you  not?  Well,  well; 
keep  your  innocence,  or  the  manner  of  it,  as  long  as  you 
can.  'Tis  the  finest  bait  where  you  are  fishing. 

PATRICIA 

Riddles.  You  all  speak  in  riddles  that  seem  to  hide 
unpleasing  answers. 

LADY    CASTLEMAINE 

Oh,  you'll  find  'em  pleasing  in  time.  Fish,  my  lady 
Patricia;  fish  wherever  you  will,  so  you  fish  not  in  my 
waters. 

PATRICIA 

I  should  thank  you  for  your  advice  if  I  knew  what 
language  you  were  talking. 


ACT    XI  .    .     ,  ,. 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE, 

'Tis  plain  English,  and  'tis  not  advice,  but  a  com- 
mand! 

PATRICIA 

[Breaking  out.']  Oh,  hould  your  whisht,  now !  Now 
you've  gone  too  far!  For  I  take  no  commands,  here 
or  anywhere  in  the  wide  world,  save  from  the  Queen. 
[Enter  BUCKINGHAM  from  the  back.  At  the  same 

time  a  footman,  armed  with  a  long  pole,  to  which  a 

lighted  taper  i*  -fixed,  comes  and  lights  the  candles  in 

the  sconces.     A  blaze  of  light.] 

BUCKINGHAM 

Babs,  by  my  soul  —  and  Lady  Patricia.  A  fair  con- 
junction. The  rising  star,  and  —  but  let  the  simile  go. 

[To  PATRICIA,  with  a  low  bow.]  Lady  Patricia,  my 
very  dutiful  obeisance. 

[PATRICIA  curtseys.] 

LADY    CASTLEMAINE 

[To  PATRICIA,  mockingly.]  If  you  knew  how  you  are 
honoured ! 

PATRICIA 

Or,  at  least,  who  honoured  me. 

LADY    CASTLEMAINE 

[To  BUCKINGHAM.]     Ho,  George,  there's  a  slap  in 


M AVOURNEEN 

the  face  for  you !  [As  if  it  were  showing  him  off .]  The 
cynosure  of  all  observers;  the  very  gem  and  jewel 
of  Charles's  court;  the  ingenious,  the  brave,  the  noble  — 

BUCKINGHAM 

[Protesting.]     Now  Babs,  Babs ! 

LADY    CASTLEMAINE 

George  Villiers,  Duke  of  Buckingham. 

PATRICIA 
[Starting  back  in  horror.]     Oh  — ! 

LADY    CASTLEMAINE 

O,  George,  your  reputation  has  gone  before  you. 

BUCKINGHAM 

[To  PATRICIA.]      Not  to  my  disadvantage,  I  trust. 

PATRICIA 

[Recovering  her  self-possession.]  Oh,  my  Lord,  if 
you  are  content  with  your  reputation,  why  should  I 
tavil  at  it? 

[Enter  MRS.  MYDDLETON  with  LORD  BRISTOL.  Serv- 
ants  place  the  card  tables  about  the  room.] 

MYDDLETON 

[Tn  conversation  with  BRISTOL.]  Fie,  fie,  my  lord; 
these  things  should  be  hidden;  you  are  too  fiee. 


ACT    II 

BRISTOL 

But  witty.  Say  I'm  witty  —  wit  covers  a  multitude 
of  shins  —  [He  waits  for  her  to  laugh,  but  she  does  not 
see  the  joke,  which,  indeed,  is  a  poor  one,  and  unneces- 
sary from  him.~\ 

No  sense  of  humour.  [He  sees  PATRICIA.]  Aha! 
Lady  Patricia!  Have  you  rode  again  lately? 

PATRICIA 

No,  I  have  not;  and  I  miss  it.  My  Rosinante  will  be 
eating  his  head  off;  and  when  next  we  go  out,  we'll 
break  each  other's  neck. 

[Enter  BERKELEY  and  MRS.  ROBERTS.] 

BERKELEY 

Let  me  perish  if  you're  not  the  loveliest  of  women! 
Let  me  perish  else! 

ROBERTS 

That's  what  you  say  to  every  woman. 
[Enter   MONTAGU   from    the    KING'S   door.     He    makes 
straight  for  PATRICIA.] 

MONTAGU 

Still  here? 

PATRICIA 

Where  else,  since  I'm  waiting  for  the  King? 
•     103     - 


MAVOURNEEN 

MONTAGU 

[With  obvious  joy.~\     Ah!  the  King  will  be  too  late; 
the  Court's  assembling. 

PATRICIA 

Why  is  it  assembling? 

MONTAGU 

'Tis  the  card  hour,  I  thank  heaven ! 

PATRICIA 

O,  fie!     Do  you  thank  heaven  for  gambling? 

MONTAGU 

No.     I  thank  heaven  for  my  own  private  thoughts. 

PATRICIA 
'Tis  uncivil  not  to  disclose  them. 

MONTAGU 

[Passionately.]     Will  you  give  me  leave  to  disclose 
them?     Will  you  give  me  leave  to  include  you  in  them? 

PATRICIA 
Why  should  I? 

MONTAGU 

[Impulsively.']     Because  I  love  you. 


ACT    II 

PATRICIA 

Whirra!     Will  you  take  me  by  storm? 

MONTAGU 

You  are  in  great  peril.     I  love  you.     Give  me  leave 
to  shield  you  against  the  peril. 

PATRICIA 
I  fear  no  peril,  and  I  see  no  peril. 

MONTAGU 

It  is  here;  all  around  you.     It  is    [pointing  to  the 
KING'S  door]  there! 

PATRICIA 
Have  you  so  poor  an  opinion  of  me,  Mr.  Montagu? 

MONTAGU 

I  love  you!     [Takes  her  hand.] 

PATRICIA 

Hush! 

[BUCKINGHAM  comes  to  them.     MONTAGU  moves  away 
with  a  gesture  of  suppressed  anger.] 

BUCKINGHAM 

Beware  of  ensigns,   pretty  charmer,  and  their   soft 
nothings. 

•C10S3- 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

His  soft  nothing  was  to  tell  me  'tis  the  gaming  hour. 
What  will  that  be  at  all? 

BUCKINGHAM 

Why,  old  Rowley  — 

PATRICIA 

Who's  old  Rowley? 

BUCKINGHAM 

O,  come,  come!     King  Charles,  of  course.     He  can- 
not sleep  o'  nights,  till  he  have  won  our  money. 

PATRICIA 
Has  he  such  luck? 

BUCKINGHAM 

He  has  such  —  skill. 

PATRICIA 

Shall  I  be  seeing  the  whole  court,  then? 

BUCKINGHAM 

Have  you  not  seen  it  yet? 

PATRICIA 

How  would  I  see  it,  when  I've  been  closeted  with 
the  Queen  all  the  time? 


ACT    II 

[BRISTOL  goes  to  the  centre  opening,  where  he  meets  two 
lovely  young  women  (The  MISSES  BROOKE)  and 
brings  them  down.] 

MRS.    ROBERTS 

You  must  not  let  yourself  be  dazzled  by  the  splendour 
of  it,  child. 

PATRICIA 

I'll  do  my  endeavours  to  remain  composed. 
{Lords  and  Ladies  enter t  singly  and  in  couples.] 

BERKELEY 

[To  PATRICIA,  pointing  to  BRISTOL  and  the  two  MISSES 
BROOKE.]  Well,  my  wild  Irish  Beauty?  Two  more 
stones  in  your  path? 

PATRICIA 

D'ye  mean  anything? 

BERKELEY 

Take  my  meaning  or  leave  my  meaning;  but  Castle- 
maine  isn't  beaten  yet.  Myddleton  and  Roberts  have 
not  hauled  down  their  colours,  and  here's  Bristol  has 
brought  his  nieces  to  market!  Oh,  faith!  It's  a  rough 
road  you've  chosen,  and  somebody  will  have  a  bad  fall 
—  I  say  not  who.  [He  turns  away  from  her.] 

•CI07> 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

[To  MONTAGU.]  What  are  they  all  after?  What's 
the  sense  of  their  talk  ?  The  nightmare !  Mr.  Montagu, 
the  nightmare! 

MONTAGU 

Let  me  take  you  out  of  it  then. 

PATRICIA 

No!     I'll  fight  my  way  through. 
[Enter  ARLINGTON  from  the  KING'S  door.] 

ARLINGTON 

His  Majesty  will  be  here  presently.  {Looking  about 
him.]  My  wife;  has  any  one  seen  my  wife? 

ASHLEY 
Ask  Buckingham. 

ARLINGTON 

Ah!     [He  crosses  to  BUCKINGHAM.] 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE 

[To  ASHLEY.]  Too  bad.  You'll  have  them  cutting 
each  other's  throat. 

ASHLEY 

Listen. 

ARLINGTON 

[To  BUCKINGHAM.]  George,  Ashley  tells  me  I  am 
to  ask  you  whether  you  have  seen  my  wife. 


ACT    II 

BUCKINGHAM 

[Startled.]     Eh?     I?  — Oh,  yes;  a  while  ago. 

ARLINGTON 

Why  is  she  not  here  ?     Was  she  well  when  you  left  her  ? 

BUCKINGHAM 

I  have  never  seen  her  in  better  health. 

ARLINGTON 

Thank  heaven.     Is  she  not  wonderful?     Let  me  tell 
you  something.     [He  whispers  to  BUCKINGHAM.] 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE 

[To   ASHLEY,   laughing.]     There's    for   your   throat- 
cutting  ! 

MYDDLETON 

[To  PATRICIA.]     You  must  not  be  alarmed  by  the 
great  folk  you  see  around  you,  child. 

ROBERTS 

[Patronisingly.]     Though  timidity  would  be  natural, 
to  one  so  new  to  the  company  of  wits  and  beauties. 

PATRICIA 

[Innocently.]     Which  are  you?     [They   turn  away, 
furious.] 

•C1093- 


MAVOURNEEN 

[Enter  LADY  ARLINGTON.     BUCKINGHAM  meets  her  and 
leads  her  in.~\ 

ARLINGTON 

Look !  Look !  My  wife !  She  comes !  The  swan- 
like  grace!  The  sinuous  motions!  Notice  her  action! 
Observe  the  way  she  lifts  her  feet ! 

PATRICIA 
Are  you  speaking  of  a  horse? 

ARLINGTON 

I  am  speaking  of  my  wife. 

PATRICIA 

Well  —  how  was  I  to  know  ? 

LADY    CASTLEMAINE 

Your  tongue  is  a  little  too  nimble,  child;  you  are  not 
now  in  your  Irish  bogs. 

PATRICIA 

And  I  wish  I  was  in  so  wholesome  a  place ! 

LADY    CASTLEMAINE 

Foh !     You  should  thank  God  for  the  difference. 

PATRICIA 

Difference,  is  it?  Oh,  whirra,  whirra,  what  for  will 
you  be  speaking  of  it  at  all,  at  all?  To  bring  the  green 

•CMO  3. 


ACT    II 

fields  of  Erin  before  my  memory,  and  the  blue  seas  that 
come  kissing  the  feet  of  my  father's  castle  whispering 
to  me:  "Pat  allannah,  come  and  swim,  come  and 
bathe  your  body  in  us;  come  and  wash  your  soul  white 
in  us!"  And  the  curlews  screamin'  round  the  tower; 
and  the  sun  and  the  clouds  playin'  at  catch-as-catch-can 
on  the  blue  waters!  And  the  wild  days  on  horseback 
—  over  stone  walls,  over  ditches  and  dykes,  wid  me  hair 
flying  in  the  winds  and  the  salt  breath  o'  the  say  ca- 
ressin'  me  and  coaxin'  me !  Hie,  away,  Accushla,  my  lit- 
tle brown  pony,  you  an*  me's  alone  in  the  world,  and  never 
a  sorrow  or  sin  to  come  nigh  us!  [To  ARLINGTON,  who 
tries  to  interrupt  her  as  he  sees  the  KING'S  door  open.'] 
Och,  hould  your  whisht!  If  I  cannot  breathe  the  air 
o'  my  homeland,  let  me  dream  myself  back  to  it  for  the 
Lord's  sake! 

[Enter  KING  CHARLES  -followed  by  PEPYS  and  CHIF- 
FINCH.     There    is    a   stir   among    the    courtierst    but 
CHARLES  motions  silence,  and  stands  listening  to  PA- 
TRICIA as  she  continues  in  her  rhapsody. ,] 
Och,  the  room's  heavy  with  amber  and  bergamot,  and 
it's  monstrous  fine  you  all  are,  to  be  sure;  but  give  me 
the  wind  on  my  hills;  give  me  the  innocent  faces  o'  the 
sheep  lookin'  up  at  me;  give  me  the  smell  o'  the  peat 
fire,  when  me  and  Moyra  sit  snug  roastin'  chestnuts ;  and 
Father  O'Rafferty  there  wid  his  fiddle  an'  all,  an'  Moyra 
croonin'  her  songs.     [She  becomes  aware  of  CHARLES 

•Cm;}. 


MAVOURNEEN 

who  is  now  close  to  her,  staring  at  her  admiringly;  she 
continues  in  one  breath.]  Bad  manners  to  you,  phwat 
are  you  staring,  at,  you  j  ackeen  with  the  dark  face  and 
the  bowld  eyes.  O,  begob  the  King !  [She  stands  petri- 
fied.] 

CHARLES 

Pray  continue  — 

PATRICIA 

[Bobbing  a  countrified  curtsey.]  Faith,  no!  My 
Pegasus  takes  walls  and  ditches,  but  he  baulks  at  a 
crown. 

CHARLES 

The  greater  my  loss.  I  have  no  luck  this  evening.  I 
fear  I've  kept  you  waiting. 

PATRICIA 

[Airily.]     Oh,  your  Majesty,  don't  apologise. 
[The  courtiers  are  profoundly  shocked.] 

PATRICIA 

Lord  Arlington  kept  me  amused,  and  Mr.  Montagu 
kept  me  interested. 

CHARLES 

[Drily.]     That  was  not  what  I  had  you  hither  for. 
I  wish  Arlington  and  Montagu  would  amuse  me.     But 
they've  plagued  me  with  dull  politics,  till  my  brain  is 
•CH83- 


ACT    II 

dancing  a  fandang  with  my  poor  skull.     Your  rhapsody 
was  a  breath  of  wind  blowing  the  cobwebs  away. 

PATRICIA 
[Abruptly.]     Will  there  be  war? 

ALL 

[Shocked.]     Hush! 

CHARLES 

[Laughing.]  Ah,  young  lady,  we  never  ask  plain 
questions,  or  give  plain  answers.  Odds  fish!  We're 
too  much  alarmed  at  the  thought  of  hearing  the  truth! 
Yet  tell  her  the  truth,  Mr.  Secretary. 

PEPYS 

Sire,  the  Dutch  will  be  in  the  Medway,  unless  — 

PATRICIA    * 
Foreigners  in  the  Medway !     Why  that's  unthinkable ! 

CHARLES 

[To  LADY  CASTLEMAINE.]  D'ye  see  the  flash !  I  vow 
to  Gad  we'll  make  you  High  Admiral  o'  the  fleet ! 

PATRICIA 
I  would  to  heaven  you  could! 

CHARLES 

'Tis  the  French  Maid,  Joan  of  Arc,  upon  my  soul ! 


MAVOURNEEN 

ARLINGTON 

[Rubbing  his  hands.]     He's  catching  fire! 

ROBERTS 

The  saucy  jil-flirt! 

BERKELEY 

[To  CASTLEMAINE.]     Oh,  your  poor  nose,  Babs! 

LADY    CASTLEMAINE 

[To  him.']     What  now,  Charles? 

BERKELEY 

Out  of  joint  again:     I  heard  it  snap. 

CHARLES 

[Going  to  his  seat  at  the  centre  table."]  Well  —  cards ! 
Lady  Arlington  —  [To  BUCKINGHAM.]  George  — 

[LADY  CASTLEMAINE  moves  forward.] 

No,  Babs  —  We  must  honour  the  new  comer.  [He 
waves  a  gracious  summons  to  PATRICIA.]  Lady  Patri- 
cia— 

[LADY  CASTLEMAINE  turns  away  in  a  fury."] 

LADY    CASTLEMAINE 

The  devil  fetch  her ! 

-emu- 


ACT    II 

CHARLES 

Come.     Sit.     Sit. 

[All  sit.] 

[Groups  are  arranged  at  all  the  tables.] 

PATRICIA 
Cards,  is  it?     But  I  don't  play. 

ARLINGTON 

[Shocked.']     Hush!     Hush!     The  King  commands. 

PATRICIA 

It's  no  use  commanding  what  I  can't  do. 

BUCKINGHAM 

The  King  is  waiting. 

PATRICIA 

By  your  leave,  your  Majesty,  I  know  no  card  games. 
Choose  some  one  else. 

PEPYS 
[To  ASHLEY.]     A  fine,  high-spirited  young  woman! 

CHARLES 

This  is  amazing !     Have  you  never  had  a  card  in  your 
hands  ? 

PATRICIA 
Oh,  faith  yes.     But  only  to  build  castles  with. 


MAVOURNEEN 

CHARLES 


Castles? 


PATRICIA 

Houses  of  cards;  ay.     That's  proper  fun. 

CHARLES 

Why,  let's   see  you!     {He  rises.]     Build  one  now! 

PATRICIA 
[Like  a  shy  child;  but  eager  to  begin."]     Shall  I? 

CHARLES 

[Handing  her  a  pack  of  cards.]     Go  to  work. 

PATRICIA 
Oh,  but  I  must  have  three  packs ! 

CHARLES 

Have  thirty !  —  [He  collects  packs  from  other  tables, 
even  where  people  have  begun  to  play;  general  move- 
ment; those  who  had  sat  down  rise.] 

BERKELEY 

[At  LADY  CASTLEMAINE'S  table.]  Ecod!  Says  she 
don't  play  cards,  and  plays  'em  better  than  the  oldest 
hand! 


ACT    II 

LADY    CASTLEMAINE 

[Who  has  just  had  her  pack  seized  by  the  KING;  furi- 
ously.]    More  cards  here! 

[CHIFFINCH  brings  her  a  fresh  pack.] 

CHARLES 

[Throwing  the  packs  he  has  collected  on  the  table; 
to  PATRICIA.]     There!     Is  that  enough? 

PATRICIA 

[Clapping  her  hands.]     Splendid!     I'll  build  a  pal- 
ace!     [She  begins  building.]  * 

CHARLES 

Let  me  wait  on  you,  fair  architect. 

PATRICIA 

Hand  me  the  cards  then ! 

PEPYS 
The  King,  waiting  on  his  wife's  tiring-woman! 

BUCKINGHAM 

Master  Secretary,  have  you  never  heard  of  the  wife's 
maid  becoming  the  master's  mistress ! 

PEPYS 

[Conscience-stricken.]     Hum.     Flesh    is    weak,    my 
Lord. 

*  Grammont. 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

[To  the  KING.]  Don't  come  so  close;  and  don't  jog 
my  elbow ! 

BRISTOL 
[To  LADY  CASTLEMAINE.]     D'ye  hear  her? 

BUCKINGHAM 

[Who  is  now  the  centre  of  a  little  group,  consisting  of 
BRISTOL,  LADY  ARLINGTON,  PEPYS  and  the  two  BROOKES.] 
Faith  —  a  rhyme !  [MONTAGU  listens  in  the  back- 
ground.] 

An  Irish  maid  on  market  day 

Brought  all  her  goods  to  court,  sir, 
She  spread  'em  out,  a  fine  display, 

And  that  was  royal  sport,  sir. 
Rowley,  who  chanced  to  wander  by, 

Caught  by  the  Irish  brogue,  sir, 
And  kindled  by  a  flashing  eye, 

Fell  victim  to  the  rogue,  sir  — 

MONTAGU 

[Trembling  with  rage,  but  in  a  suppressed  voice.]  I 
think  you  are  rhyming,  my  lord  ? 

BUCKINGHAM 

I  vow  to  Gad,  so  I  am ! 
-C 


ACT     II 

MONTAGU 

That  is  bad  for  your  health. 

BUCKINGHAM 

Who  made  you  my  leech? 

I/ADY    ARLINGTON 

[Putting  her  hand  on  BUCKINGHAM'S  arm.]  Not  here, 
George!  [She  takes  him  away.~\ 

CHARLES 
[To  PATRICIA.]     Fair  fingers  —  nimble  and  white. 

PATRICIA 

[Building.']  Don't  touch!  —  I'm  ashamed  o*  the 
whiteness;  'tis  for  lack  o*  the  sun.  At  home  they're  a 
wholesome  brown. 

CHARLES 

Fair,  whether  brown  or  white ! 

PATRICIA 

Oh,  hould  your  whisht ;  it's  getting  difficult. 

BUCKINGHAM 

[To  LADY  ARLINGTON.]  Oh,  sweetheart,  those  hours 
this  afternoon  were  heaven! 

LADY   ARLINGTON 

Hush!     Hush!     Forget! 


MAVOURNEEN 

BUCKINGHAM 

Forget!     Such  raptures  can  never  be  erased  from  my 
memory. 

LADY    ARLINGTON 

Lud !     That  were  a  pity,  for  then  your  memory  would 
need  no  refreshing ! 

BUCKINGHAM 

Tormentor !     I'll  forget  at  once ! 

LADY    ARLINGTON 

[Coquettishly.']      Nay.     Not  till  to-morrow! 

BERKELEY 

[At  LADY  CASTLEMAINE'S  table.']     She's  building  her 
fortune,  Babs. 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE 

Mind  the  game.      [Slamming  down  a  card.']     I  trump 
you,  with  my  King. 

ARLINGTON 

[At  her  table."]     I  thought  you'd  lost  your  King  long 
ago. 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE 

Think  again. 

CHARLES 

[Alluding  to  PATRICIA'S  castle,  which  is  now  lofty."] 
It  grows  apace. 

-£120;}- 


ACT     II 

PATRICIA 

[Building.]  I  rode  to  build  my  fortune;  and  look! 
This  shall  be  an  image  of  it!  If  I  build  to  the  top,  it 
shall  mean  good  luck ! 

CHARLES 
The  owner  of  such  charms  can  never  have  ill  luck. 

PATRICIA 
You  put  me  out.     Look !     'Tis  nearing  the  top ! 

CHARLES 

Marvellous,  I  protest. 

PATRICIA 

Sit  down !  [Pushes  him  on  to  a  stool]  for  now  comes 
the  danger. 

PEPYS 
Ay :  the  nearer  the  summit,  the  greater  the  peril. 

CHARLES 

Silence!  [To  the  Court  in  general.]  Cease  playing 
—  Stop  your  breath !  She's  reached  the  coping ! 

[All  stop  playing  and  rise  except  LADY  CASTLEMAINE.] 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE 

[Slamming  down  a  card.]  You  should  play  that  game 
in  the  nursery,  Charles. 

•cm  3. 


MAVOURNEEN 

BUCKINGHAM 

[Under  his  breath.]     'Twill  lead  thither  in  time. 
[MONTAGU,  who  overhears  this,  can  scarcely  control 
himself.] 

CHARLES 

[Sternly.']     I  said  silence! 

PATRICIA 

[Still  building.]     I  have  built  my  way  up! 

[Placing  cards  in  position.]  This  is  my  dear  Queen's 
love !  This  is  her  health,  I  pray  may  be  restored.  Now 
the  two  last!  [The  KING  hands  her  these.]  This  is  — 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE 

The  King's  favour? 

PATRICIA 

Ay,  madam ;  for  my  love  to  the  Queen !  Oh,  but  they 
need  a  light  touch,  and  the  utmost  caution  — 

CHARLES 
[Turns  to  BUCKINGHAM.]     I  vow  she's  crowned  it! 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE 

Lud,  'tis  plaguey  hot!  [She  fans  herself  vigorously; 
down  comes  PATRICIA'S  castle.] 

ALL 

Oh! 


ACT     II 

i 

CHARLES 

[Furious.']     Who  did  that?     I  say,  who  did  it? 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE 

[Languidly.}  Lud,  Charles,  is  it  the  first  time  your 
favour  has  crumbled  at  a  breath? 

CHARLES 
[Striding  towards  her.}     You  — ! 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE 

[Facing  him.]     Well? 

PATRICIA 

[Behind  table,  interposing.]  'Tis  nothing,  Sire;  and 
Lady  Castlemaine  has  a  right  to  fan  herself,  being  of 
a  stout  habit,  poor  thing. 

CHARLES 

[Laughing."]     Odds  fish,  that's  true,  too! 
[LADY  CASTLEMAINE  turns  back  to  her  cards  in  fury. 
CHARLES  goes  up  laughing  among  the  courtiers.     Gen- 
eral talk.] 

MONTAGU 

[To  PATRICIA.]  I  thank  heaven  it  ended  as  it  did. 
Take  warning  by  it. —  Pat ! 

PATRICIA 

What  warning  will  it  be,  raven? 


MAVOURNEEN 

MONTAGU 

Not  to  build  in  the  clouds. 

PATRICIA 

Where  will  I  build,  then? 

MONTAGU 

Here;  in  my  heart. 

CHARLES 

\In  a  group,  consisting  of  BUCKINGHAM,  BRISTOL  and 
BERKELEY.]     No,  no;  I'm  in  no  mood  to  settle  anything 
but  that  pestilent  woman.     [Indicating  LADY  CASTLE- 
MAINE.] 
[PATRICIA  sits  below  the  card  table  and  busies  herself 

arranging  the  fallen  cards  in  packs. ,] 

BRISTOL 
But  this  is  a  question  of  vital  consequence. 

BERKELEY 

And  'tis  a  question  only  you  can  resolve. 

CHARLE8 

Oh,  out  with  it,  then. 

PEPYS 

Thank  Heaven  they  can  be  serious  at  need ! 
-C  12*  > 


ACT     II 

V 

BUCKINGHAM 

We  were  hot  in  a  discussion  as  to  which  of  our  reign- 
ing Beauties  has  the  shapeliest  leg. 
[Cries;  little  screams  from  the  ladies.     Laughter  from 

the  men.] 

MONTAGU 

[Horrified.]     Upon  my  soul  — ! 

ARLINGTON 

There  can  be  no  manner  of  doubt  on  that  score ;  my  — 

LADY   ARLINGTON 

[Severely.]     Sit  down,  Henry! 

BRISTOL 

I  assure  you  — 

BERKELEY 

I  know  — 

ASHLEY 

I  can  convince  you  — 

ARLINGTON 

I  tell  you,  in  green  silk  stockings  — 

CHARLES 

[Laughing.]     Silence!     [Quietly.]     On  this  subj ect  I 
speak  with  authority. 


MAVOURNEEN 

BUCKINGHAM 

Ay,  Gad !     I  should  think  so. 

CHARLES 

The  shapeliest  legs  in  this  company  belong  to  —  [He 
looks  round  at  the  ladies,  who  are  immediately  all  in  a 
flutter.]  Belong  to  —  [His  eye  falls  on  LADY  CASTLE- 
MAINE.] 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE 

Spare  my  blushes,  Charles. 

CHARLES 

[Seriously,  and  with  a  profound  bow.]  Belong  to 
Lady  Patricia  O'Brien.* 

[Dead  silence.] 

PATRICIA 

[Looking  over  her  shoulder,  says  with  innocent  pleas- 
ure.]    Thank  you.     [She  turns  to  her  cards  again.] 
[MONTAGU    is    fuming.     PEPYS    edges    towards    him. 
LADY  CASTLEMAINE  rises] 

ARLINGTON 

In  the  presence  of  my  wife  — 

[LADY  ARLINGTON  silences  him  with  her  fan] 

BERKELEY 

Hush,  Arlington:  His  Majesty  no  doubt  speaks  with 
knowledge. 

*  Grammont. 


ACT    II 

MONTAGU 

[Under  his  breath.]     God  — ! 

CHARLES 

'[Laughing.]     Honi  soit  qui  mal  y  pense !  * 

PEPYS 
[Quietly  to  MONTAGU.]     Come  away,  my  young  friend. 

MONTAGU 

[Roughly.]     Let  me  alone! 

CHARLES 

[Enjoying  the  situation.]  Ay  —  ay  —  you're  a  proper 
herd  of  Gadarene  swine,  to  be  sure.  Smiling  and  smirk- 
ing, with  evil  thoughts  in  your  minds,  and  an  evil  glitter 
in  your  eyes.  I  have  the  honour  and  privilege  of  speak- 
ing with  knowledge,  because  the  Queen  brought  the  Lady 
Patricia  to  me  first  in  the  guise  of  a  boy. 

[PATRICIA  rises  and  curtseys.] 

[MONTAGU  is  enormously  relieved.  Those  who  were 
present  in  the  innyard,  when  PATRICIA  rode  in,  turn  to 
each  other  as  much  as  to  say  <e  Of  course;  we  remem- 
ber."] 

ARLINGTON 

Sire,  sire,  even  so.  In  the  absence  of  means  of  com- 
parison I  am  loyal  [indicating  his  wife]  to  Isabella. 

*  Grammont. 


MAVOURNEEN 

BUCKINGHAM 

So  am  I !     None  are  so  fair  as  those  in  green  silk  stock- 
ings!* 

ARLINGTON 

[Amazed.]     Eh — ?      [He  turns  to  his  wife.]     Isa- 
bella—? 

CHARLES 

[Laughing.]     I  cannot  well  ask  Lady  Patricia  to  con- 
vince you. 
[MONTAGU    who    was    moving    towards    another   group, 

turns  abruptly  at  the  sound  of  PATRICIA'S  voice."] 

PATRICIA 

Oh!     If  that's  all  that's  troubling  you!     Many's  the 
mile  I've  traipsed  through  our  bogs  with  my  coats  to 
my  knees  and  none  the  worse  for  it !  — 
[And  without  more  ado  she  lifts  her  skirts  to  her  knees. 

A  murmur  of  admiration.]  * 

LADY  CASTLEMAINE 

[Indignant.]     The  brazen  hussy! 

[PATRICIA   has   let   her  skirts  fall.     She  finds   herself 
face  to  face  with  MONTAGU,  who  is  white  with  fury.] 

PATRICIA 
[Frightened.  ]     Sidney  — ! 

*  Grammont. 

-C  128  > 


ACT     II 

MONTAGU 

Farewell ! 

[He  turns  his  back  on  her  and  strides  out,  leaving  her 
puzzled  and  astonished.  An  orchestra  strikes  up. 
Groups  form  for  a  dance.  The  KING  comes  and  offers 
PATRICIA  his  hand.  She  is  in  deep  distress f  looking 
after  MONTAGU.  The  Dance  begins. 

THE   CURTAIN   FALLS 


ACT  III 


ACT  III 

[The  Pantiles  at  Tunbridge  wells.  On  the  right  is  a 
crescent  of  two-storied  wooden  houses,  with  a  wooden 
colonnade  along  the  front.  Under  the  colonnade  are 
tiny  shops  such  as  are  found  at  fashionable  resorts:  a 
jeweller's;  a  milliner' 's,  a  pastry  cook's,  etc.  PATRICIA 
lodges  over  the  pastry  cook's  and  her  house  is  dis- 
tinguished by  a  balcony,  from  which  steps  lead  down 
to  the  colonnade.  A  row  of  trees  runs  down  the  centre 
of  the  stage.  On  the  left  is  a  shrubbery,  in  which  is 
one  of  the  fountains  at  which  the  Quality  take  the 
waters.  There  a  maid  is  in  attendance.  There  are  oil 
lanterns  between  the  pillars  of  the  colonnade,  and  cir- 
cular seats  round  the  trees.  It  is  late  afternoon. 

The  scene  is  full  of  life  and  animation.  All  the  charac- 
ters in  the  play  are  promenading  under  the  trees,  or 
under  the  colonnade.  Some  are  in  the  shops;  some 
are  seated  under  the  trees.  There  are  pedlars;  a 
woman  selling  lavender;  an  Italian  boy  with  a  hurdy- 
gurdy;  another  with  a  peep-show;  a  girl  selling  flow- 
ers; another  with  oranges,  etc,  etc.  All  are  moving 
about,  chattering,  laughing,  singing. 


MAVOURNEEN 

[LADY  ARLINGTON  is  brought  on  in  Sedan  Chair  ac- 
companied by  BUCKINGHAM.     Music  on.] 

[ASHLEY  sitting  under  the  first  tree,  with  MRS.  MYD- 
DLETON  and  MRS.  ROBERTS,  BERKELEY  is  talking  with 
the  two  MISSES  BROOKE./  BUCKINGHAM  is  with  LADY 
ARLINGTON.  PEPYS  is  half  out  of  sight  in  the  shrub- 
bery, showing  MERCER  a  sheet  of  MS.  music;  MRS. 
PEPYS  is  in  the  jeweller's  shop;  BRISTOL  is  drinking  at 
the  fountain.'] 

ASHLEY 
Let  me  perish,  but  'tis  rank  tyranny  to  tie  us  by  the 

leg  in  this  countrified  hole. 

MYDDLETON 

And  all  because  the  little  Portugal  woman  must  take 
the  waters ! 

ROBERTS 

As  if  the  waters  of  Tunbridge  would  heal  her. 

ASHLEY 

'Tis  to  be  hoped  she's  past  that. 

BERKELEY 

[Joins  the  group.]      Come,  come,  Anthony;  what's  she 
done  to  you? 

ASHLEY 

Got  me  here,  and  keeps  me  here.     Isn't  that  enough? 
.-C  134  > 


ACT     III 

BUCKINGHAM 

[Coming  up  with  LADY  ARLINGTON,  and  speaking  to 
the  BROOKES.]  Put  on  a  merrier  face,  angels;  we're  to 
have  an  alfresco  frolic  to-night. 

MISS  HILL   BROOKE 

As  'twere  dancing  on  the  Queen's  grave. 

LADY    ARLINGTON 

You  give  me  a  gooseflesh !  'Twill  be  proper  sport.  I 
am  coming  as  Diana. 

BRISTOL 
In  green  silk  stockings? 

LADY    ARLINGTON 

Shall  I  never  hear  the  last  of  them? 

BRISTOL 
Never.     Those  stockings  are  now  a  page  of  history. 

BUCKINGHAM 

A  footnote.  But  talking  of  stockings,  has  any  one 
seen  the  fair  Patricia? 

MISS  HILL   BROOKE 

No  one.     She's  shut  herself  in  her  lodging  all  day. 


MAVOURNEEN 

MISS   FRANCES    BROOKE 

Artful  wretch.     She's  making  herself  peculiar. 

BUCKINGHAM 

Dangling  the  bait  out  of  Rowley's  reach,  eh? 

MYDDLETON 

[Who  has  joined  the  group.]     I  vow  I  never  saw  the 
King  so  deeply  in  love ! 

MISS  HILL  BROOKE 

Oh,  the  wickedness  of  innocence! 

ROBERTS 

Poor  Babs  Castlemaine !     She  goes  out  of  one  vapour 
into  another,  for  mere  fury ! 

BUCKINGHAM 

Where  does  the  inaccessible  Nymph,  Patricia,  dwell? 

LADY    ARLINGTON 

[With  jealousy.]     What  is  that  to  you,  George? 

BUCKINGHAM 

Nothing:     I  only  asked. 

ASHLEY 

As  a  fact,  she  lodges  there.     Over  the  pastry  cook's. 
•C  136  > 


ACT    III 

LADY   ARLINGTON 

Let  us  take  the  air,  George. 

BUCKINGHAM 

In  a  moment. 

BERKELEY 

[Laughing;  to  BUCKINGHAM.]  A  little  clinging, 
George?  Ivy,  George? 

BUCKINGHAM 

[With  a  sigh.]     Ivy  ?     A  limpet. 

LADY   ARLINGTON 

[Calling.]     George ! 

BUCKINGHAM 

Behold  me !     [He  joins  her.] 

[They  go  out  through  the  shrubbery.] 

PEPYS 

[Bringing  MERCER  cautiously  down  from  the  shrub- 
bery.] Take  this  with  you,  Mercer.  Practise  it. 
Learn  the  words.  'Tis  my  song.  "  Beauty  Retire." 
Words  by  Sir  George  Davenant.  Music  by  me.  [He 
hums.] 

Beauty  retire,  thou  dost  my  pity  move ; 
Believe  my  pity,  and  then  trust  my  love. 

•CIST  3- 


MAVOURNEEN 

At  first  I  thought  her  by  a  prophet  sent 
As  a  reward  for  valour's  toils, 
More  worth  than  all  my  Father's  spoils ; 
But  now  she  is  become  my  punishment. 

[Mns.  PEPYS  comes  out  of  the  jeweller's  shop  and  stands 
within  earshot.] 

MERCER 
Lord,  'tis  properly  sentimental ! 

PEPYS 

[Holding  her  chin  in  his  hand."]  Dapper  Dicky  al- 
ways was  sentimental.  We'll  run  through  it  to-night, 
eh?  When  they're  all  at  the  King's  frolic.  You  and  I, 
eh? 

MERCER 

I  am  afraid  of  my  mistress. 

PEPYS 

She'll  be  safe.  Jigging  it  in  Frenchified  dances. 
Odds,  bobs,  we'll  be  merry,  eh,  chuck?  [Chucks  her 
under  the  chin.]  You  and  Dapper  Dicky,  eh? 

[MERCER  laughs.] 

MRS.  PEPYS 
[Coming  down;  coldly.]     Mercer. 


ACT     III 

MERCER 

[Startled.]     La!     [Demurely."]     If  you  please, ma'am. 

MRS.  PEPYS 
Go  home. 

MERCER 

[Bobbing  a  rather  mocking  curtsey."]  If  you  please, 
ma'am. 

[MERCER  runs  away  giggling.] 

PEPYS 

[Weakly."]     Um  —  shall  we  to  supper,  chuck? 

MRS.  PEPYS 

[Ignoring  the  question."]  I  cannot  keep  a  maid  it 
seems,  but  you  must  lead  her  astray  — 

PEPYS 

Now,  woman,  I  brought  you  at  heavy  expense  to  the 
Wells  for  your  health.  Why  will  you  sour  your  blood 
with  these  humours  ? 

MRS.    PEPYS 

Why  will  you  be  so  free  with  that  jil-flirt? 

PEPYS 

Improving  her  mind,  ma'am ;  improving  her  mind. 


MAVOURNEEN 

MRS.    PEPYS 

Ho!     "Dapper  Dicky"—! 

PEPYS 

[In  a  rage.']     Now  God-a-Mercy! 

MRS.    PEPYS 

"  Dapper  Dicky  !  " 

PEPYS 

By  the  Lord,  I'll  pull  your  nose  !  * 
[ARLINGTON  joins  them  with  ASHLEY.] 

ARLINGTON 

[Coming  between  them.']  Billing  and  cooing,  Mr.  Sec- 
retary? [To  MRS.  PEPYS.]  Your  servant,  Madam. 
Upon  my  faith,  the  ideal  couple.  Like  myself  and  my 
Isabella.  Have  you  met  Isabella? 

MRS.  PEPYS 

[In  spite  of  PEPYS'S  signals.  ]     Yes!     I  saw  her  wan- 
dering into  the  shrubbery  with  Lord  Buckingham. 
[She  moves  away  with  ASHLEY.] 

ARLINGTON 

Precious  Isabella!  Her  wit  matches  Buckingham's 
so  well  !  They  are  great  friends  —  great  friends.  She 
explained  to  me  how  she  showed  him  her  stockings. 


Pepys's  Diary. 


ACT    III 

PEPYS 

On? 

ARLINGTON 

Oh,  fie!     Oh,  fie! 

ASHLEY 

Fair  Madam  Pepys,  have  you  seen  the  new  hoods  at 
the  French  milliner's? 

MRS.  PEPYS 
[With  a  look  at  PEPYS.]     La !     No. 

ASHLEY 

Then  give  me  the  privilege  of  showing  them  to  you. 
[He   offers   his   hand,  which    MRS.    PEPYS   takes:   they 
move  off.] 

PEPYS 
[Calling  after  her.]     Elizabeth  — 

MRS.    PEPYS 

[With  bitter  irony.]     Dapper  Dicky ! 
[They  go  into  the  milliner's.] 

ARLINGTON 

Mr.  Secretary  — 

PEPYS 

Pardon,  my  lord,  but  — 
[PEPYS  moves  towards  the  milliner's  shop.] 


MAVOURNEEN 

ARLINGTON 

Mr.  Secretary!     What  news  out  of  Holland? 

PEPYS 

I  am  awaiting  Mr.  Montagu  with  impatience;  from 
Breda,  whither  I  sent  him.     [He  turns  to  go  again.] 
[PATRICIA  appears  on  her  balcony.] 

ARLINGTON 

Fie,  Mr.  Pepys !     You  remove  Uriah,  that  David  may 
be  unhindered. 
[PEPYS  turns.] 

PEPYS 
[Puzzled.]     David  ?  — -  Uriah  ? 

ARLINGTON 

Oh,  come,  come!  In  plain  Engish:  you  send  young 
Montagu  on  a  dangerous  errand,  that  Charles  may  dally 
unmolested  with  the  wild  Irish  girl. 

PEPYS 

You  insinuate  that  I,  /,  would  lend  myself  to  such 
an  intrigue  —  ? 

ARLINGTON 

Not  so  hot,  my  friend.  Charles  is  not  ungrateful,  and 
it  shall  redound  to  your  honour ! 


ACT     III 

PEPYS 

Honour  — !  [Speechless.]  My  Lord,  if  you  be  such 
a  stickler  for  honour,  I  advise  you  to  look  in  the  shrub- 
bery ! 

ARLINGTON 

[In  a  huff.]     I  think  you  grow  impertinent,  sir. 
[He  goes  towards  the  shrubbery  but  changes  his  mind, 
and  exit.'] 
[Some  of  the  promenaders  stroll  off.] 

PATRICIA 
Mr.  Pepys! 

PEPYS 

[Looking   up,  startled.]     Eh?     The   Lady   Patricia! 

PATRICIA 

Wait  till  I  come  down  to  you ! 
[She  runs  to  the  end  of  the  balcony,  and  down  the 

stairs.] 
[The  Town  Dinner  Bell  rings  in  the  distance.     BRISTOL 

exclaims  "Dinner"  and  exit.     All  follow  gradually.] 

PEPYS 
But  —  [He  stands  irresolute.] 

PATRICIA 

[Coming  to  him.]     I've  been  shut  up  all  day.     Now 


MAVOURNEEN 

the  gadflies  have  gone  to  their  meal  —  and  'tis  offal  they 
feed  on  —  I  can  take  the  air.     Are  you  very  hungry  ? 

PEPYS 

To  be  plain  with  you,  I  have  been  put  somewhat  out  of 
appetite. 

PATRICIA 

Come  and  sit  ye  down,  then. 

PEPYS 

[With  an  anxious  glance  towards  the  milliner's  shop.] 
But  —  my  wife  — 

PATRICIA 

Do  I  frighten  you,  Mr.  Secretary? 

PEPYS 
Beauty  never  frightened  me  yet  — 

PATRICIA 
[Indicating  the  seat  beside  her.]     Well,  then  — 

PEPYS 

—  and  does  not  frighten  me  now. 

[He  sits  beside  her  with  an  insinuating  air,  and  is  about 
to  put  a  protecting  arm  round  her.] 

PATRICIA 

You're  not  to  make  love  to  me. 
•C 


ACT    III 

[He  takes  his  arm  away,  crushed.'] 
I  want  news. 

PEPYS 
Of  what,  cruel  nymph  ? 

PATRICIA 

[Carelessly.]     Oh  —  any  news.     But  mainly  of  the 
Dutch. 

PEPYS 

I  am  waiting  to  hear. 

PATRICIA 
From  whom? 

PEPYS 
Young  Montagu  is  to  tell  me. 

PATRICIA 

{Indifferently.']     Oh,  indeed?     Is  he  your  spy? 

PEPYS 

No,  no,  no!     He's  gone  openly,  being  master  of  their 
tongue. 

PATRICIA 
Not  a  dangerous  errand  then? 

PEPYS 
Very  —  if  he  was  not  discreet. 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

You  think  him  discreet? 

PEPYS 
I  should  not  have  sent  him  else. 

PATRICIA 
And  brave? 

PEPYS 

A  fine  young  fellow.     A  fine,  discreet,  brave,  young 
fellow. 

PATRICIA 
But  hot-tempered? 

PEPY8 

No  more  than  becomes  a  gentleman. 

PATRICIA 
And  swift  to  take  offence? 

PEPYS 
Not  without  cause. 

PATRICIA 

Oh?     Do  you  say  I  gave  him  cause? 

PEPYS 
[Laughing.]     Ah !     You've  led  me  into  a  trap ! 


ACT    III 

PATRICIA 

But  do  you  ? 

PEPYS 

Must  I  answer? 

PATRICIA 

You  must. 

PEPYS 

Why,  then,  yes,  I  do. 

PATRICIA 

Because  I  showed  my  ankles? 

PEPYS 

[Ticking  the  points  off  on  his  fingers.]  We  are  to 
consider  where  you  showed  'em;  whom  you  showed  'em 
to;  how  much  of  'em  you  showed;  and  the  feelings  to- 
wards you  of  all  the  spectators  —  including  our  young 
friend. 

PATRICIA 
When  do  you  expect  him  back  ? 

PEPYS 
I  am  awaiting  him  impatiently. 

PATRICIA 

[Alarmed.']     Here? 


MAVOURNEEN 

PBPYS 

Of  course. 

PATRICIA 

Thank  you.     Then  I  must  be  gone.     [She  rises.] 

PEPYS 

Well,  I'm  sending  Madam  Pepys  to  London  to-morrow. 
She'll  be  company  for  you. 

PATRICIA 
You're  in  a  monstrous  hurry  to  be  rid  of  me. 

PEPYS 
I  thought  you  were  in  a  monstrous  hurry  to  go. 

PATRICIA 

[Sitting. ~\  Mr.  Pepys,  I  think  you're  a  —  I  think 
you're  —  [She  breaks  down,  sobbing  with  her  head  on 
his  shoulder.] 

PEPYS 

There,  now ;  there  now ! 
[He  puts  his  arm  round  her.] 

[Enter  MRS.  PEPYS  from  the  milliner's  with  ASHLEY  who 
gives  her  a  hat  box  and  points  to  PEPYS  and  PATRICIA.] 

MRS.  PEPYS 
[Severely.]     Samuel! 

-C1483. 


ACT    III 

PEPYS 

[Rises]     O  Lord !     In  the  wrong  again ! 
[He  joins  his  wife,  and  they  go  out,  leaving  ASHLEY. 
Enter  FATHER  O'RAFFERTY,  on  a  very  small  donkey, 
led  by  a  boy.     He  dismounts.     The  shop  people  begin 
to  put  up  their  shutters.     And  having  done  so,  they 

lock  the  shop  doors  and  go  off.] 

i 

ASHLEY 

[Staring  at  FATHER  O'RAFFERTY.]     Split  me !  what  in 
the  world  is  this? 

[PATRICIA  looks  up] 

O'RAFFERTY 
[To  the  donkey  boy.]     Don't  bate  the  faithful  baste. 

PATRICIA 

[Rushing   to  him.]     O,   Father   O'Rafferty,   darlin'! 
[She  crosses  herself  and  curtseys] 


[Dismounting  and  not  recognising  her  in  her  grand 
clothes]     My  humble  duty,  Madam. 

ASHLEY 

Now,  my  good  fellow,  make  room  for  your  betters ! 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

[To  ASHLEY,  pushing  him  away.]  Och !  stand  out  o' 
my  way;  and  where  will  ye  find  the  betters  of  him? 
[To  O'.RAFFERTY.]  Father  alannah! 

O'RAFFERTY 

[Overjoyed.]  Tis  the  Lady  Patricia!  Tis  Patrick! 
Tis  my  own  Pat ! 

PATRICIA 
[Seising  his  hand.]     Come  away  with  you. 

ASHLEY 

A  pathetic  meeting,  stap  me !  The  prodigal  daughter, 
and  the  swine. 

PATRICIA 
[To  him,  fiercely.]     Ha'n't  you  gone,  yet? 

t 

ASHLEY 

Don't  forget  the  King's  frolic  ? 
[Exit  through  the  shrubbery.] 

PATRICIA 
[Dragging  at  O'RAFFERTY.]     Come,  come. 

O'RAFFERTY 

[Alluding  to  the  donkey  boy.]  I  must  discharge  my 
debt. 

-C1503. 


ACT     III 

PATRICIA 

[Giving  the  boy  a  coin.]     Oh,  here!     Run  away,  and 
take  Pegasus  with  you. 

[Exeunt  BOY  and  DONKEY.] 

O'RAFFERTY 
A  guinea !     Monstrous ! 

PATRICIA 

'Tis  worth  a  thousand  to  see  your  face  again. 

O'RAFFERTY 
Let  me  look  at  you.     I  haven't  gathered  my  wits  yet. 

PATRICIA 
Here  I  am,  Father  aroon. 

O'RAFFERTY 
A  fine  lady ;  a  fine  court-lady,  by  the  powers ! 

PATRICIA 
Thanks  to  your  teaching,  Father. 


It's  the  proud  man  I  should  be. 

PATRICIA 
It's  the  proud  man  you  are. 


MAVOURNEEN 

O'RAFFERTY 
[Pensively.]     Ay  —  ay  —  If  you  are  happy. 

PATRICIA 

Why  for  should  I  not  be  happy?  [She  sits  under  the 
tree.] 

O'RAFFERTY 

That's  what  I'm  asking.  I'm  after  having  a  talk  with 
the  Queen's  barber ;  him  that  I  knew  in  Portugal ;  and  he 
hath  told  me  much  news. 

PATRICIA 
Of  me? 

Mostly. 

PATRICIA 

And  what  had  he  to  say  of  me  ? 


Many  things  I  like,  and  some  I  mislike. 

PATRICIA 
[Coaxingly.~\     Tell  me  the  things  you  like. 

O'RAFFERTY 
I've  told  you  those  often. 


ACT     III 

PATRICIA 

The  others,  then. 

O'RAFFERTY 

No.     You  shall  tell  me  those. 
[CHIFFINCH  is  seen  coming  along  the  Pantiles.] 

PATRICIA 
What's  the  matter  with  you,  Father? 

O'RAFFERTY 
Doubt.     [He  sits  beside  her.~\ 

PATRICIA 

[Looking  at  him  searchingly.']  Oh?  I  see  the 
Queen's  barber  has  been  busy.  Ask  me  questions  boldly. 
Be  a  man. 

O'RAFFERTY 
Ay  —  but  you're  a  woman,  and  how  will  you  answer  ? 

PATRICIA 
Have  I  ever  told  you  a  lie  ? 


You  had  never  been  to  court. 

PATRICIA 
Ask  what  you  will  and  I'll  answer  the  plain  truth. 


MAVOURNEEN 

O'RAFFERTY 

You  are  suddenly  rich. 
[CHIFFINCH  goes  into  the  pastrycook's  shop.'] 

PATRICIA 

Why  do  you  say  so  ? 

O'RAFFERTY 

Paupers  don't  give  guineas  to  donkey  boys.     Paupers 
don't  come  to  the  Wells. 

PATRICIA 
The  King  pays  for  my  lodging. 


[Pointing  to  her  pearls.]      Paupers  don't  wear  pearls. 

PATRICIA 
The  King  gave  me  those. 


And  a  fine  golden  watch. 

PATRICIA 
And  the  King  gave  me  that. 


And  silks  and  satins  like  a  duchess. 


ACT     III     , 

PATRICIA 

The  King- 

O'RAFFERTY 

[Rises  in  great  distress.]     God  forgive  me,  I   wish 
you'd  a'  lied! 

[CHIFFINCH  comes  from  the  pastrycook's  shop  towards 
PATRICIA.] 

PATRICIA 

What's  gone  wrong  with  your  conscience,  Padre,  that 
you  cannot  bear  the  truth? 

O'RAFFERTY 

My  conscience  is  it?     'Tis  your  conscience  I  would 
examine. 

PATRICIA 
[Rises  and  faces  him.]     See  it  in  my  eyes,  Padre. 

O'RAFFERTY 

Tell  me  this  one  thing:  does  King  Charles  ask  nothing 
in  return  for  his  gifts  ? 

PATRICIA 
Ay.     Service  to  the  Queen. 

O'RAFFERTY 
But  for  himself? 
[Pause.] 
Ah!  you  are  silent. 

•C1553- 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

[Proudly. ]     He  may  ask;  and  I  may  refuse. 
[CHIFFINCH  has  come  close.     As  he  speaks  PATRICIA  is 
startled,  and  O'RAFFERTY'S  worst  suspicions  are  con- 
firmed.] 

CHIFFINCH 

The  King  sends  me.  I  am  in  luck  to  have  found  you. 
His  Majesty  bids  you  stay  in  your  lodging.  His  Majesty 
will  honour  you  with  a  visit. 

PATRICIA 

[Recovering  herself.]  His  Majesty  must  be  content 
with  the  shelter  of  this  tree,  then,  for  my  lodging  is  not 
fit  to  receive  him. 

CHIFFINCH 

Now,  dear  lady,  can  I  take  him  that  message? 
[O'RAFFERTY  is  deeply  distressed.] 

PATRICIA 

Since  you  could  bring  me  his,  I  doubt  whether  any 
message  is  beyond  you. 

CHIFFINCH 

Well  —  Charles  is  good-natured  —  and  — 
[He  attempts  to  touch  her  arm.] 

PATRICIA 
[Avoiding  him.]     I  wish  you  good  evening. 


ACT     III 

CHIFFINCH 

Eh?      [Sees  there  is  nothing  more  to  be  said.]     Your 
very  humble  servant. 


[A  pause.] 

O'RAFFERTY 

[Sinks  on  the  seat  and  buries  his  face  in  his  hands; 
then  he  looks  up.]  Oh,  Pat,  Pat,  you're  fencing  with  me. 
You've  told  me  the  truth;  but  have  you  told  me  all  the 
truth?  It's  no  avail  tossing  your  head,  and  wishing 
you  was  rid  of  the  tiresome  ould  priest,  who's  come 
among  your  grand  friends,  mud-splashed,  and  with  shiny 
knees.  My  knees  are  shiny  because  I've  worn  them  out 
praying  the  Holy  Virgin  to  watch  over  you;  and  I'm 
mud-splashed  because  I've  rode  a  long  way;  for  "  Go  and 
shield  her,"  said  my  love  ;  "  Go  and  save  her,"  said  my 
heart;  and  here  I  am,  and  you'll  not  turn  a  deaf  ear  to 
me,  who  love  you  as  if  you  was  my  own  child. 

PATRICIA 

[Throwing  herself  on  her  knees   to  him.']     Oh,  'tis 
better  than  a  hundred  fathers  you've  been  to  me. 
[She  takes  his  hands.] 
Tell  me  what  'tis  you  want  I  should  do. 


•C  157 


MAVOURNEEN 

O'RAFFERTY 

I've  come,  after  all,  to  put  the  fledgling  back  into  the 
house-martin's  nest.  I've  come  to  fetch  you  home. 

PATRICIA 

So  suddenly?     I  cannot  come. 

O'RAFFERTY 
[Sternly.]     Why  not?     What's  in  the  way? 

PATRICIA 

Oh,  Father,  we're  at  cross  purposes ;  and  I  cannot  tell 
you  more,  for,  alas,  there's  nothing  to  tell.  But  indeed 
I  cannot  come  at  once;  I  love  — 

[O'RAFFERTY  starts  back.] 

I  love  the  Queen  too  well. 

O'RAFFERTY 
[Eagerly.]     Aha!     Do  you  love  her? 

PATRICIA 

With  all  my  heart;  and  sorrow  for  her;  and  pity  her. 
[Four  Halberdiers  enter  and  stand  at  the  back.] 

O'RAFFERTY 

[Delighted.]  Now  that's  good  hearing!  Oh,  that's 
good  hearing. 

-C  158  > 


ACT     III 

PATRICIA 

[Astonished  at  his  delight. ]  How  could  I  not  love 
her?  The  sweet  soul  —  and  she  belike  on  her  death- 
bed. 

[CHIFFINCH  enters.] 


[Speaking  more  to  himself  than  to  her.]  Ay:  and  it's 
to  my  friend  the  Portugal  leech  I'll  talk  no  later  than 
directly  — 

[The  KING  enters  accompanied  by  a  few  courtiers.'] 

PATRICIA 
What  about? 

O'RAFFERTY 
Eh?     Was  I  speaking? 

PATRICIA 

What  will  you  talk  to  the  Queen's  leech  about? 

O'RAFFERTY 

Why,  the  Queen's  health,  to  be  sure.  Ay!  and  the 
Queen's  happiness,  too. 

CHIFFINCH 

[To  PATRICIA.]  Lady  Patricia  —  the  King.  [He 
retires.] 


MAVOURNEEN 

O'RAFFERTY 

The  King?     [To  PATRICIA.]     What,  the  black-avised 
gentleman  ? 

PATRICIA 
Ay ;  with  the  handsome  face. 

O'RAFFERTY 
Come,  then,  child. 

PATRICIA 
I  must  not  stir  now. 

O'RAFFERTY 
Then  I  stay  with  you. 

CHARLES 
[Coming  to  PATRICIA.]     At  confession,  child? 

PATRICIA 

[With  a  curtsey.~\     More  like  refusing  to  confess. 

CHARLES 

[To  the  Courtiers.]     We  thank  you. 
[The   Courtiers   look   back   laughing  f   bow   and  exeunt, 
•with  CHIFFINCH.] 
Come  and  sit  beside  me.     [He  sits  under  the  tree.] 

PATRICIA 
You  have  just  dismissed  us,  Sire. 


ACT     III 

CHARLES 

[With  a  look  at  O'RAFFERTY,  who  is  bravely  holding 
his  ground.  ]     All  but  you. 

PATRICIA 

The  Queen  awaits  me. 

CHARLES 

The  Queen,  as  you  know  very  well,  is  in  her  evening 
bath.      [To  O'RAFFERTY.]      Did  you  not  hear  me,  sir? 


[Horribly  frightened. ,~\     Has  —  has  your  Majesty  ad- 
dressed me? 

CHARLES 

I  thanked  you. 


Your  Majesty  is  most  gracious. 

CHARLES 

Odds  Fish,  take  care  I  become  not  ungracious. 

PATRICIA 

[Laughing. ]  No,  no,  Sire!  You  must  not  bark  at 
Father  O'Rafferty;  he  is  the  best  friend  I  have  in  the 
world. 

-C  161  > 


MAVOURNEEN 

CHARLES 

[To  O'RAFFERTY.]  That's  a  title  others  covet, 
Father  - 

O'RAFFERTY 
O'Rafferty.     A  poor  parish  priest. 

CHARLES 

[To  PATRICIA.]     So  you  love  your  best  friend? 

PATRICIA 

In  truly  and  that  I  do. 

CHARLES 

[Laughing.]  In  truly  and  I  will  be  his  best  friend, 
then.  [To  O'RAFFERTY,  very  courteously.]  What  I 
wished  to  convey  was,  that  I  will  not  keep  you  from  bet- 
ter company  —  Mr.  Dean  — 

O'RAFFERTY 

[Not  grasping  the  situation.]  No,  no,  a  poor  par- 
ish- 

CHARLES 

'Tis  not  in  my  gift;  but  the  Queen  is  of  your  faith;  go 
to  her,  Mr.  Dean;  tell  her  what  I  say,  and  she'll  see  it 
done,  Mr.  Dean. 

O'RAFFERTY 

[Unwilling  to  go.]     But,  Sire  — 


ACT     III 

CHARLES 

Enough  ! 

O'RAFFERTY 
Yet  I  would  thank  your  Majesty. 

CHARLES 
Thank  the  Queen. 

O'RAFFERTY 

Ay,  the  Queen  !  —  whom  Pat  loves  !  —  I  humbly  take 
my  leave  — 
[He  goes  to  the  KING  as  if  to  shake  hands,  PATRICIA 

stops   him;   he   withdraws   humbly.     The   KING   gra- 

ciously offers  him  his  hand.] 

—  to  thank  the  Queen. 

[He  goes  up  the  road  with  PATRICIA.] 

Did  ye  see  that,  Pat?     The  King!     He  took  me  by 
the  hand  ! 


CHARLES 

[Laughing.]     Odds    bobs!     A    whimsical    customer. 
[To  PATRICIA.]     Sit.     Sit. 

PATRICIA 

[Standing.]     'Twere  ill  manners. 

CHARLES 

I  command! 

-CIM3- 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

Oh,  Sire !     That's  no  manners  at  all. 

CHARLES 

[Rises.]     The  King  entreats. 

PATRICIA 

[Sitting  resignedly.]     Oh,  well!     There,  then. 
[CHARLES  sits  beside  her;  looks  at   her  earnestly  and 

heaves  a  tremendous  sigh.] 
[PATRICIA    imitates   himf   and   then   breaks   into   merry 

laughter.] 

CHARLES 

So  you  love  that  shabby  old  priest? 

PATRICIA 

Heartily. 

CHARLES 

And  the  Queen? 

PATRICIA 

Devoutly. 

CHARLES 

And  whom  else? 

PATRICIA 

There's  Moyra,  my  nurse. 


ACT     III 

CHARLES 

Whom  else? 

PATRICIA 

Why,  that's  three;  and  three's  enough. 

CHARLES 

But   the   sum   of  all   these   loves   is   mere   affection. 
Come,  now;  whom  do  you  love? 

PATRICIA 

['Demurely.']     My  father  confessor  has  just  left  me. 

CHARLES 

Then  you  shall  be  my  mother-confessor,  and  I'll  make 
a  clean  breast  of  it ;  for  I  vow  I  love  you. 

PATRICIA 
Alas,  poor  sinner,  for  that  there's  no  absolution. 

CHARLES 

Truly;  for  I  shall  never  repent  on't. 

PATRICIA 

But  soon  forget  it. 

CHARLES 

Nor  that,  either. 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

Do  you  load  your  memory  with  all  your  loves  ? 

CHARLES 
By  my  truly,  I  think  you'll  drive  me  mad. 

PATRICIA 
By  my  truly,  I  think  you're  mad  already. 

CHARLES 
Why?     What  symptoms  have  I  shown? 

PATRICIA 

Foh!  'Tis  the  act  of  an  accomplished  madman  to 
talk  of  love  to  a  maid,  when  he  has  none  to  give,  and  she 
would  not  take  it,  if  he  had. 

CHARLES 

Why  would  she  not  take  it,  if  you  please? 

PATRICIA 

If  you  please,  because  'tis  common  property. 

CHARLES 

Take  care !  'Tis  perilously  near  high  treason  to  speak 
so  of  your  king. 

PATRICIA 
Only  the  King  hears  me. 

-C1663. 


ACT     III 

CHARLES 

Come  now;  no  need  to  flash  at  me  so.  The  girl  who 
rode  alone  from  God  knows  where;  the  girl  who  only 
t'other  day  set  the  whole  court  blushing  — 

PATRICIA 

[Indignant.]  Stop!  The  court  blushed  for  its  own 
evil  thought ;  not  for  mine ! 

CHARLES 

Well,  it  blushed;  and  to  make  my  court  blush  was  an 
achievement.  I  say,  the  girl  who  did  all  this,  is  no  such 
paragon  of  crop-eared  virtue. 

PATRICIA 
[Rising."]     And  therefore  no  company  for  a  King. 

CHARLES 

[Holding  her."]  Wait!  wait!  You  cannot  go  till  the 
King  dismisses  you. 

PATRICIA 

I  can  be  silent  while  he  holds  me. 

CHARLES 

Be  silent,  then,  and  listen.  Why,  if  you  be  so  strict, 
have  you  made  me  love  you?  [PATRICIA  makes  a  move- 
ment of  protest.]  I'll  answer  for  you.  You'll  say  you 
Jiave  done  no  such  thing.  To  which  I  reply,  you  have, 


MAVOURNEEN 

You've  filched  my  love.  [PATRICIA  starts.]  Ay  I  If 
not  actively,  then  passively,  by  your  mere  existence. 
You  are  merry,  and  I  love  mirth;  brave,  and  I  love 
courage;  beautiful,  and  I  love  beauty.  But  you  have 
actively  encouraged  my  love. 

[She  starts  again  indignantly.] 

You  are  not  to  speak ! 

[She  gives  a  gasp  of  impatience.] 

You  have  been  good  to  the  Queen, 

[He  takes  her  hand.] 

and  Heaven  knows  I  wish  her  well  —  now  she's  to  be  so 
short  a  time  with  me.  You've  been  good  to  me  too: 
laughed  at  my  jests;  not  turned  away  prudishly  when  I 
gazed  at  you;  condescended  to  accept  my  gifts.  [At 
this  a  look  of  horror  crosses  PATRICIA'S  face.]  A  poor 
King  values  such  kindness  when  'tis  offered  for  no  selfish 
reason.  Now  you  may  speak. 

PATRICIA 

[Breaking  away  from  him.]     If  you  was  any  other 
man  —  I'd  slap  your  face. 

CHARLES 
Slap  it,  and  welcome. 

PATRICIA 

For  you  make  me  angry,  and  you  make  me  laugh,  all 
in  the  same  breath. 


ACT     III 

CHARLES 

Laugh,  my  dear;  'tis  the  more  wholesome. 

PATRICIA 
Have  you  ever  spoke  plain  sense? 

CHARLES 

Always 

PATRICIA 

Or  heard  it  spoke  ? 

CHARLES 

Never. 

PATRICIA 

There,  now!     Now  let's   sit  cosy  and  friendly,  and 
you  shall  take  off  your  crown. 

CHARLES 

And  lay  it  at  your  feet. 

PATRICIA 
And  I'll  put  aside  my  armour  of  maidenly  reserve. 

CHARLES 

That's  what  I've  been  urging  you  to  do. 

PATRICIA 

There!     'Tis   gone.     [She  sits.]     Now  you're  plain 
Charles,  and  I  plain  Pat. 


MAVOURNEEN 

CHARLES 

[Laughing.]     A  Maiden  did  a  Shepherd  spy  — 

PATRICIA 
With  all  his  lambs  around  him  — 

CHARLES 

He  saw  Dan  Cupid  in  her  eye  — 

PATRICIA 

And  left  him  where  he  found  him. 

CHARLES 

[Laughing.]     No,  no!     It  doesn't  go  that  way. 
i 

PATRICIA 

That's  the  way  it  goes,  and  we  could  jingle  so  till 
supper  and  get  no  further.  Now,  plainly,  what  is't  you 
want  ? 

CHARLES 

I  thought  I  had  put  it  plainly. 

PATRICIA 

You  want  me  to  be  your  mistress? 

CHARLES 

I  did  not  put  it  so  plainly  as  that. 


ACT     III 

PATRICIA 

Is  that  the  sense  of  it? 

CHARLES 

That's  the  romance  of  it. 

PATRICIA 

Oh,  what  becomes  of  poor  romance?  Think  of  Lady 
Castlemaine. 

CHARLES 

Ay !  Think  of  whence  she  started  and  to  what  heights 
she's  risen!  Haven't  I  loaded  her  with  wealth? 
Haven't  I  made  her  daughter  a  duchess?  And  see  what 
I've  made  of  her  husband! 

PATRICIA 

[Looking  him  full  in  the  face.]  Wonderful!  Won- 
derful !  He  truly  does  not  see  the  irony  of  it ! 

[As  CHARLES  is  about  to  speaJc.] 

Hold  your  whisht,  now;  for  whenever  you  speak  you 
make  matters  worse. 

CHARLES 
[Humbly;  imitating  her.']      I  hould  my  whisht. 

PATRICIA 

I'm  not  going  to  preach  at  you,  so  don't  yawn  yet. 
You  say  you  think  well  of  me. 

-C  "I  y 


MAVOURNEEN 

CHARLES 

I  say  I  love  you. 

PATRICIA 

But  what  would  you  say  if  I  was  any  other  man's  mis- 
tress? 

CHARLES 

I  should  say  he  was  a  damned  lucky  dog;  and  I  should 
cut  off  his  head. 

PATRICIA 

[Laughing.']  Deed  and  truth,  you're  almost  past  talk- 
ing to,  and  that's  a  fact.  Put  the  case  a  young  man 
came  to  court  to  seek  his  fortune.  Would  you  shower 
honours  upon  him,  if  he  had  no  honour  of  his  own?  But 
you  ask  me  to  barter  my  honour  for  honours. 

CHARLES 

Oh! 

PATRICIA 

I  won't  do  it,  and  you  won't  ask  me  to.  I  respect  my- 
self, Charles,  and  I  like  you  well  enough  to  want  you  to 
respect  me. 

CHARLES 

I  do !  by  my  faith  I  do ! 

PATRICIA 

Oh,  Charles,  Charles,  how  can  the  King  respect  the 
King's  mistress? 


ACT     III 

CHARLES 

Pat,  the  more  you  fight  me,  the  more  you  set  me  on 
fire.  I  vow  'tis  a  new  feeling  takes  hold  of  me.  I  don't 
know  myself.  Od  rot  it,  Pat,  I'm  a  gentleman,  and 
you're  the  first  lady  I've  ever  met  —  save  the  Queen;  and 
she,  poor  soul,  doesn't  count.  I  love  you  truly,  and  as 
you  should  be  loved.  I  cannot  let  you  go.  I  will  not 
let  you  go. 

[He  takes  her  hand.] 

PATRICIA 
Yet,  I'm  going. 

CHARLES 

No,  no.  Listen.  Kings  have  married  their  subjects 
ere  now ;  Kings  of  England.  Why !  I  dare  say  you  are 
of  older  ancestry  than  I. 

PATRICIA 

[Flashing  at  him.]  I  should  hope  so!  Why,  the 
O'Briens  of  Castle  O'Brien  —  ! 

CHARLES 

Well,  what  do  you  think  of  that  now?  [Rises.] 
Queen  of  England,  eh?  it  sounds  well!  Eh? 

PATRICIA 
[As  in  a  dream.]     Queen  of  England  — ! 


MAVOURNEEN 

CHARLES 

Queen  Patricia  of  England !  —  Ods  fish !  how  the  Irish 
would  love  me !  * 

[PATRICIA  sees  THE  QUEEN  approaching.'] 

PATRICIA 
But  you  have  forgotten  — 

CHARLES 

[Eagerly.]     What?     What? 

PATRICIA 

[Pointing.]  Queen  Catherine  of  Braganza. 
[Enter  THE  QUEEN,  reclining  in  a  chair  on  wheelsf 
which  is  pushed  by  a  footm-an.  She  is  followed  by  two 
old  Portuguese  ladies  of  forbidding  aspect.  At  her  side 
walks  her  medical  man,  and  with  him  FATHER  O'RAF- 
FERTY,  Portuguese  Lords,  a  Priest ,  etc.] 

CHARLES 

Here?  —  What  the  plague? —  What  brings  her  all 
this  way  round? 

[PATRICIA  goes  to  THE  QUEEN  and  kisses  her  hand.] 

THE    QUEEN 

Ah!  this  good  child!     It  is  your  father  confessor,  'e 
tell  me  I  shall  find  the  King  'ere. 
*  Grammont. 

•cm* 


ACT    III 

CHARLES 

[Vexed,  to  O'RAFFERTY.]  Oho!  that's  how  you  seek 
preferment,  is  it,  my  little  —  parish  priest? 

THE    QUEEN 

No,  Charles;  not  parish  priest.  'E  say  you  want  me 
to  'ave  'im  made  a  Dean. 

CHARLES 
Oh,  there's  no  such  haste. 

THE    QUEEN 

Oh,  but  there  is.  I  am  so  'appy  that  you  ask  some- 
thing of  me,  Charles ;  and  for  this  dear  child,  too,  'oom  I 
love. 

CHARLES 

I  don't  ask  it,  Kate;  I  say  there's  no  haste.  I  must 
know  more  of  the  man.  Plague  on't,  I  don't  even  know 
his  name! 

PATRICIA 

Oh,  yes,  your  Majesty;  I  told  you:  O'Rafferty. 

CHARLES 

O'Rafferty!  'Tis  a  name  for  a  ballad.  How  can  a 
man  be  a  Dean,  with  such  a  name?  Dean  O'Rafferty! 
Foh! 

-C1753. 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA. 

Why,  make  him  a  Bishop,  then,  and  he'll  lose  his  name. 

THE    QUEEN 

[Laughing.']  The  dear  Pat!  She  is  always  ready. 
[To  O'RAFFERTY.]  You  'ave  the  Queen's  word,  sir;  and 
I  think  it  shall  be  Bishop. 

O'RAFFERTY 
[Overwhelmed  and  speechless.]     Madam  — 

THE    QUEEN 

[To  him,  motioning  him  to  retire.]  You  shall  wait  for 
my  sweet  Patricia.  [To  her  ladies.]  Appartase  urn 
pouco  se  fas  favor. 

[The  attendants  and  O'RAFFERTY  retire.     PATRICIA  ac- 
companies O'RAFFERTY  a  little  way.] 
Charles,  have  I  pleased  you? 

CHARLES 

[Comes  to  her.]  You  never  could  do  otherwise;  but 
there  was  no  such  haste. 

THE    QUEEN 

[With  a  sad  smile.']  There  is  always  'aste  to  do  a 
little  good. 

CHARLES 

You  have  done  nothing  else  since  you  have  been  here. 


ACT    III 

THE    QUEEN 

So  very  little.     Come  close,  Patricia.     Are  you  'appy 
for  your  confessor? 

PATRICIA 

So  happy;  and  so  grateful. 

THE    QUEEN 

Now,  while  Charles  is  in  a  good  'umour,  we  must  oc- 
cupy ourselves  with  you. 

PATRICIA 
Me,  Madam — ? 

THE    QUEEN 

'Ave  I  not  'card  of  a  Montagu? 
[CHARLES  becomes  all  ear.~\ 

PATRICIA 

[Confused.']     Nay,  I  beseech  you  — ! 

CHARLES 

Do  you  mean  young  Sidney  Montagu,  Kate  ? 

THE    QUEEN 

I  think  'is  name  is  Sidney,  eh,  Patricia? 

CHARLES 

Odds  fish,  Miss  Touch-me-not,  blows  the  wind  in  that 
quarter  ? 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

[Recovering,  but  with  flaming  cheeks.]  'Tis  an  ill 
wind,  then,  and  blows  neither  of  us  any  good!  for  the 
first  time  we  met,  he  nearly  spitted  me  on  his  sword ;  and 
the  next  I  angered  him  so,  that  he  left  the  court  forever ! 

CHARLES 

Ay!  I  remember.  He  could  not  stomach  a  jest. 
Oh!  A  crop-eared  ranter. 

PATRICIA 

[Indignant.]  No  such  thing,  Sire;  but  a  very  brave 
gentleman. 

CHARLES 
[Leading  her  on.]     Aha?     No  faults  in  him? 

PATRICIA 

For  that,  a  thousand,  no  doubt  [with  a  look  at  the 
KING]  as  in  all  of  us. 

THE    QUEEN 

But  with  a  good  'eart  under  all. 

PATRICIA 

[With  spirit.]     I  know  nought  of  his  heart,  Madam. 

THE    QUEEN 

We  will  find  out  'is  'eart.  I  must  see  you  'appy  before 
I  die. 


ACT     III 

CHARLES 

[To  THE  QUEEN.]  Will  you  suffer  me  to  have  one 
word  with  this  —  with  Lady  Patricia?  [He  takes  PA- 
TRICIA by  the  hand  a  little  apart.]  Wretch!  Thou  art 
deep  as  a  well. 

PATRICIA 

Nay,  but  as  clear. 

CHARLES 

Tell  me  truly !     Do  you  love  this  Montagu  ? 

PATRICIA 

Oh,  leave  that  be.  Speak  to  the  Queen.  Speak 
kindly  to  her.  Don't  you  see  she's  dying  for  love  of 
you? 

CHARLES 

Pat!  I  vow  to  Gad,  if  you  stay  at  court,  I  believe  I 
shall  turn  Saint!  [To  THE  QUEEN.]  You've  hit  it, 
Kate.  Odds  fish,  we  shall  have  a  wedding  at  court. 
Your  new  Bishop  shall  join  their  hands. 

THE    QUEEN 

[Holding  out  her  hand  to  PATRICIA,  who  kneels  and 
takes  it  and  kisses  it.~\  I  am  glad. 

PATRICIA 

{Holding  THE  QUEEN'S  hand;  to  CHARLES.]      Now  if 
you  condescend  to  give  me  your  hand,  Sire  — 
•C  179  3- 


MAVOURNEEN 

CHARLES 

Ay,  willingly;  [Laughing  a  little  ruefully. ]  but  I'll 
not  say  I'm  glad,  till  I  see  how  you  agree  together. 

PATRICIA 

[Gently  putting  THE  QUEEN'S  hand  in  THE  KING'S.] 
We  shall  have  your  example,  Sire.     [Rises.] 
[CHARLES  and  THE  QUEEN  are  momentarily  thrilled  each 
in  their  own  way,  by  the  touch  of  their  hands.     PATRI- 
CIA moves  away  a  little.] 

THE    QUEEN 

[Clinging  to  CHARLES'S  hand;  wistfully.'}  I  would  I 
could  be  as  merry  as  you,  men  amor.  But  I  am  far  from 
my  'ome,  Charles.  I  'ave  been  a  poor,  sickly  thing,  un- 
worthy to  keep  your  love.  And  now,  per'aps  I  am  dying. 
But  God  knows  I  loved  you  truly;  and  I  willingly  leave 
all  in  the  world  but  you. 

CHARLES 

[Deeply  moved.]  I  protest,  I  honour  you;  I  love  you; 
and  I  will  do  my  endeavours  to  be  a  better  husband  to 
you.  [Kisses  her  hand.]  * 

PATRICIA 

[Who  is  very  near  weeping;  gaily.]  And  with  that, 
in  with  you,  sweet  lady ;  for  there  is  a  nip  of  October  in 

*  Agnes  Strickland. 


ACT     III 

the  air.     Yet,  Madam   [shyly]   will  you  condescend  to 
me? 

THE    QUEEN 

'Ow,  sweet  child? 

PATRICIA 

[On  her  knees.]     Will  you  kiss  me? 

THE    QUEEN 

O  gladly.  'Old  me  up,  Charles.  [CHARLES  puts  his 
arm  round  her;  she  looks  yearningly  into  his  face.]  Ah, 
'usband,  the  comfort  of  your  arm  about  me!  [To 
PATRICIA  with  a  gesture  of  blessing.]  A  santissima  vir- 
gem  vos  guarda  minha  car  a!  I  love  you  very  dearly. 
[She  takes  PATRICIA'S  hand  between  her  hands  and 
kisses  her  long  and  tenderly  on  both  cheeks;  then,  as  she 
is  taken  out.]  Charles,  if  you  'old  me  thus,  I  think  I 
shall  soon  be  a  well  woman. 
[The  FOOTMAN  wheels  her  out;  CHARLES  goes  with  her, 

still  holding  her  in  his  arm.     All  follow  except  O'RAF- 

FERTY   and   PATRICIA.     The    latter   remains   on    her 

knees.] 

O'RAFFERTY 
[Struggling  with  his  emotion.]     Pat  — 

PATRICIA 
Don't  speak  to  me ! 


MAVOURNEEN 

O'RAFFERTY 
[Humbly.]     I'll  wait. 

PATRICIA 

And  don't  stand  there  like  a  wax  image.     Call  Hafiz. 

O'RAFFERTY 
What's  that  at  all? 

PATRICIA 

Oh,  clap  your  hands  and  you'll  see. 

[She  is  taking  off  her  jewellery,  her  watch,  bracelets,  etc. 
and  putting  all  in  her  pocket-handkerchief  which  she 
has  spread  on  the  ground.  O'RAFFERTY  obediently 
claps  his  hands,  and  at  once  a  black  page  in  an  oriental 
dress  runs  down  the  stairs  from  PATRICIA'S  lodging, 
and  comes  to  her.  He  stands  grinning  with  gleaming 
teeth.'] 

O'RAFFERTY 
What  are  you  doing,  Pat? 

PATRICIA 

[On  her  'knees.']  Tearing  down  my  house  of  cards, 
Padre  —  Ah,  you  don't  know.  [To  HAFIZ.]  Now,  you 
ebony  iniquity,  can  you  understand?  [HAFIZ  nods  a  de- 
lighted "  Yes."]  Take  this  handkerchief  to  the  King's 
lodging.  Say  you  come  from  Patricia  O'Brien.  Then 
they'll  lead  you  to  the  King.  Are  you  frightened? 
•C 


ACT     III 

[HAFIZ  only  grins.]  Hand  this  handkerchief  to  the 
King  himself.  Have  you  understood?  [HAFIZ  grins 
and  moves  away.]  Wait.  Here's  ten  guineas  for  your- 
self. And  Mistress  Brooke  is  looking  for  just  such  a 
monkey.  Go  to  her. 

[HAFIZ  salaams  and  runs  off  at  the  back.] 

O'RAFFERTY 
What  is  this  play-acting,  Pat? 

PATRICIA 

[Rising  and  giving  him  a  handful  of  gold.]  And 
here's  for  your  poor. 

O'RAFFERTY 
You're  stripping  yourself. 

PATRICIA 

Sure:  that,  too,  presently.  Ha!  Now  I  can  breathe. 
It's  all  gone,  Father:  money,  and  jewels,  and  prefer- 
ment, and  —  love. 

O'RAFFERTY 
Child,  child,  what  are  you  concealing  from  me? 

PATRICIA 

A  sorrow,  but  no  sin;  I'm  not  bound  to  confess  my 
sorrow,  and  a  ride  will  shake  it  out  o*  me.     Go  hire  a 
pair  of  hackneys,  Father.      [At  a  movement  from  him.] 
•C1M3- 


MAVOURNEEN 

Oh,  I've  money  of  my  own  upstairs;  the  stocking  was  a 
long  one. 


What  are  you  going  to  do  ? 

PATRICIA 

We're  both  going  to  ride  away  to-night.  Away,  away, 
till  we  come  to  the  sea ;  and  then  we're  going  to  sail  —  to 
Castle  O'Brien. 

O'RAFFERTY 
Glory  be  to  God ! 

PATRICIA 

[Almost  hysterical.]  Oh,  'twill  be  a  fine  ride  and  a 
gay  sailing.  I'll  be  the  good  company  for  you,  and 
we'll  talk  of  tragic  Queens  and  merry  Kings,  and  proud 
and  stony-hearted  lovers.  And  when  we  do  come  to  the 
grey  old  castle,  Moyra  will  greet  us,  and  we'll  sit  by  the 
fire,  and  you  shall  play  your  fiddle  to  us  —  but  I  shall 
not  dance;  I  shall  never  dance  again! 

O'RAFFERTY 

Till  you  dance  at  your  wedding,  acushla. 
[Exit  through  the  shrubbery.     A  lamplighter  comes  and 
lights  the  lamps  in   the  colonnade.     Enter  excitedly 
BRISTOL,  BERKELEY,  ASHLEY,  MRS.  MYDDLETON,  MRS. 
-CIS*:}- 


ACT    III 

ROBERTS  and  the  two  MISSES  BROOKE.     They  come  in 
from  different  directions. ,] 
[CASTLEMAINE  is  brought  on  in  a  sedan.~\ 

BERKELEY 

Have  you  heard  the  news? 

BRISTOL 

[At  the  same  time.']     Have  you  heard  the  news? 
[Other  courtiers  come  on.~\ 

MYDDLETON 

Poor  Castlemaine!     Oh,  poor  Babs! 

ROBERTS 

Where  will  she  go? 

MISS    HILL    BROOKE 

Well,  I,  for  one,  was  never  fond  of  her. 

MYDDLETON 

She  was  a  false  friend,  and  I  hate  a  false  friend. 

MISS    FRANCES    BROOKE 

An  upstart. 

[Enter  BUCKINGHAM  with  LADY  ARLINGTON,  from  the 
shrubbery.] 

BUCKINGHAM 

What,  my  sparks,  not  arrayed  for  the  frolic? 


MAVOURNEEN 

ROBERTS 

How  did  she  bear  her  disgrace? 

MISS    HILL    BROOKE 

[To  BUCKINGHAM.]     George,  you  know.     Tell  us  all. 

ALL 

[Crowding  round  him.]      Tell  us!     Tell  us! 

BUCKINGHAM 

My  good  souls,  what  in  the  world  are  you  talking 
about? 

BERKELEY 

By  the  living  Moses,  he  doesn't  know ! 

ROBERTS 

The  Castlemaine  — ! 

ALL 

Is  dismissed! 

BUCKINGHAM 

What?     One  at  a  time! 

BERKELEY 

The  King  has  sent  Castlemaine  to  Coventry  — 

MYDDLETON 

Or  Jericho  — 


ACT    III 

BRISTOL 


Or  Bath! 


MISS    HILL    BROOKE 

And  the  Queen's  so  happy,  she's  taken  a  turn  for  the 
better. 

ROBERTS 

I'd  give  a  fortune  to  see  the  Castlemaine's  face! 
[LADY    CASTLEMAINE    has    come    among    them    unper- 
ceived.] 

CASTLEMAINE 

Here  it  is. 

[Dead  pause.     Everybody  is  nonplussed.] 

BRISTOL 

Hum  — 'tis  time  we  were  sped.     [He  moves  to  go.] 

ROBERTS 

I'm  with  you. 

CASTLEMAINE 

No!     You  were  concerned  about  my  face.     What  do 
you  say  about  it? 

BUCKINGHAM 

[Cheerily.]     Why,  Babs,  we  say  you  put  a  good  face 
on  bad  news !     But  'tis  nought.     Rowley  has  a  fit  o'  the 


MAVOURNEEN 

spleen.     Absence  makes  the  heart  grow  fonder.     He'll 
soon  tire  of  the  sick  Queen  again. 
[Enter  ARLINGTON.] 

CASTLEMAINE 

And  what  has  the  Queen  to  do  with  it? 

BERKELEY 

Why,  some  say  her  black  love-locks  have  snared  him 
again. 

ALL 
Arlington ! 

ARLINGTON 

You're  out!  You're  all  out!  'Tis  the  Lady  Patricia 
has  fished  him  and  caught  him.  I  know  the  whole  story 
from  Chiffinch.  The  bargain  was  struck  on  this  very 
spot,  not  half  an  hour  ago. 

BUCKINGHAM 

Unhappy  Babs,  your  little  hour  is  run ! 
The  waning  moon  fades  in  the  rising  sun. 

CASTLEMAINE 

Do  you  think  I'll  cede  to  this  bog-trotting  upstart  so 
easily?     Come  hither  and  watch. 
[She   rises   and  goes   towards   PATRICIA'S   lodging;   the 

others  follow  her.] 


ACT     III 

BUCKINGHAM 

[To  BERKELEY.]     This  beats  cockfighting ! 
[Enter  PEPYS  and  SIDNEY  MONTAGU.] 

PEPYS 

You  have  done  well,  my  young  friend;  and  I  shall 
report  highly  of  you  to  the  King. 

MONTAGU 

Oh,  let  be,  Master  Secretary.  I  care  nothing  for  re- 
wards. 

CASTLEMAINE 

[To  BUCKINGHAM.]     Throw  a  pebble  at  her  window. 

MONTAGU 

[Continuing,  throwing  his  cloak  on  the  seat  under  the 
tree.']  If  you  wish  to  do  me  a  service,  send  me  on  a  more 
perilous  and  more  distant  errand. 

ALL 
[As  BUCKINGHAM  throws  a  pebble.]     Missed! 

MONTAGU 

[Continuing.]  Something  wherein  my  life  may  be  in 
j  eopardy. 

PEPYS 

Fie,  sir,  what  wicked  talk  is  this  ? 
-£189;}- 


MAVOURNEEN 

ARLINGTON 

[Coming  down  to  MONTAGU.]     Ah,  Ensign!     You've 
come  at  the  right  moment. 
.    [BRISTOL  comes  down.] 

You  shall  foot  it  to-night!  Sir,  you  shall  behold  my 
wife  at  her  best.  There  is  to  be  a  bal  champetre,  in 
honour  of  — 

BRISTOL 

Discretion,  Arlington. 

MONTAGU 

I  am  in  no  humour  for  prancings,  my  lord. 
[BUCKINGHAM   has   thrown  another  pebble,  with  more 
success;  a  maid  comes  out  of  PATRICIA'S  room  on  to  the 
balcony.] 

CASTLEMAINE 

The  Countess  of  Castlemaine  will  speak  with  your 
mistress.  [The  MAID  goes  in.] 

BRISTOL 

[Arresting  MONTAGU.]  Oh,  foh!  [Confidentially.] 
If  you  wish  the  King's  favour,  young  man,  you  must 
court  the  rising  star. 

MONTAGU 

I  seek  no  favour,  and  I  heed  no  star. 
-C  190  > 


ACT     III 

MAID 

[Reappearing;    saucily.]     My    mistress    says    she'll 
come  when  she's  ready.     [Exit. ,] 

ALL 

Oh! 

[CASTLEMAINE  is  furious.'] 

BRISTOL 

[To  MONTAGU.]     That's  new,  then;  for  t'other  day 
you  was  absorbed  in  its  rays. 

MONTAGU 

Mr.  Pepys,  can  you  throw  light  on  this  Bedlam? 

PEPYS 

Take  no  heed.     They  are  jesting. 

MONTAGU 

I  like  not  the  manner  of  it. 

[He  moves  to  go  but  is  arrested  by  BUCKINGHAM'S 
words.  BUCKINGHAM  emerges  from  the  Castlemaine 
group  and  speaks.] 

MYDDLETON 

[To  the  group.]     Hush !     Hush ! 


MAVOURNEEN 

BUCKINGHAM 

I'faith!     We   must   serenade  the  lady.     [He  impro- 
vises.'] 

Patricia  from  the  Emerald  Isle, 
And  clad  in  boyish  trim,  sir. 

MONTAGU 

What's  that? 

BUCKINGHAM 

Came  riding  gaily  many  a  mile, 
Looking  demure  and  prim,  sir. 

PEPYS 

[Hurriedly,  to  MONTAGU.]      Come  away! 
[MONTAGU  shakes  him  off.] 

BUCKINGHAM 

She  saw  the  King,  and  full  of  guile, 

Set  to  to  fish  for  him,  sir; 
Her  hook  she  baited  with  a  smile, 

And  with  a  shapely  limb,  sir. 

CRIES 

Oh,  very  good !     Go  on ! 
[MONTAGU  has  come  near  the  group.] 


ACT     III 

BUCKINGHAM 

What  more  she  showed  I'll  not  compile; 

Tis  time  to  dout  the  glim,  sir  — 
[Laughter.] 

BUCKINGHAM 

Faith  !     I  want  another  rhyme  in  "  ile  "  — 

MONTAGU 

I  have  one  for  you,  sir. 

BUCKINGHAM 

Oho!     The  merry  Montagu.     Let's  hear. 

MONTAGU 

Buckingham's  little  soul  is  vile; 
Buckingham's  wit  is  dim,  sir. 

BUCKINGHAM 

Poor  !     Poor  !     I'll  not  take  it. 


MONTAGU 

."]     Will  you  take  it  at  the  point  of  my  sword  ? 


CASTLEMAINE 

Run  him  through,  George! 

[The  two  men  are  face  to  face  in  the  centre  of  the  stage. 
The  others  surround  them.     PATRICIA,  in  her  boy's 
•C  193  > 


MAVOURNEEN 

dress,  as  in  ACT  I,  comes  out  of  Tier  room  and  sees  what 
is  going  on.~\ 

PEPYS 

[In  great  excitement.]     I'll  to  the  King! 
[Exit.] 

BUCKINGHAM 

Gentlemen  do  not  fight  in  the  presence  of  ladies. 

MONTAGU 

I'm  not  to  fight  a  gentleman,  but  to  punish  a  ruffian 
and  coward ! 

BUCKINGHAM 

By  God—! 

[He  draws.  The  women  scream.  The  men  make  more 
room  for  the  fighters.  BUCKINGHAM  salutes  and  at- 
tacks MONTAGU;  but  PATRICIA  comes  quickly  through 
the  group,  and  with  her  rapier  knocks  up  the  two 
swords.] 

PATRICIA 

My  quarrel.,  I  think. 

MONTAGU 

[A  mazed.  ]     P  atricia ! 

PATRICIA 

[Coldly.]     The    same,    sir.     [She   gets    in   front   of 
him,  facing  BUCKINGHAM.]     On  guard! 


ACT     III 

BUCKINGHAM 

I    do    not   fight   with    a    woman.      [He   puts   up   his 
sword.] 

PATRICIA 

True:  you  stab  her  in  the  back. 

MONTAGU 

[Trying   to   thrust   her  aside.]     Get   you   within.     I 
will  attend  to  this. 

PATRICIA 
[Coldly.]     Have  I  asked  you  to  help  me? 

CASTLEMAINE 

[To    BUCKINGHAM.]     Have   nought  to   do   with   the 
shameless  hussy! 

PATRICIA 

Oho,  my   Lady   Castlemaine?     Now,   I    thought   the 
King  had  bidden  you  leave  prestissimo! 

CASTLEMAINE 

I  shall  be  here  long  after  you  are  tossed  aside,  a 
broken  toy! 

PATRICIA 
Better  tossed  aside  broken,  than  handed  on  —  flawed. 

CASTLEMAINE 

[Furious.]     You  —  you  minx! 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

[Laughing.]  Lord!  Is  that  the  foulest  you  can  call 
me?  I  could  find  a  hundred  worse  names  for  you,  and 
nearer  the  mark. 

CASTLEMAINE 

[Advancing  on  her.]  By  heaven  I'll  teach  you  your 
station ! 

PATRICIA 

[Facing  her;  quite  calmly.]  My  station,  is  it?  O 
whirra,  and  you'll  tache  me?  Which  are  you  prouder 
of,  the  title  the  King  gave  your  husband,  or  the  title 
the  people  give  him?  You  won  'em  both  for  him,  and 
you're  welcome  to  what  pride  you  can  get  out  of  'em! 
Oh,  save  the  mark !  Are  you  proud  of  your  station  ? 

CASTLEMAINE 

Arlington,  lead  me  away  from  this  —  fishf ag ! 

PATRICIA 

Ay,  lead  her  away,  my  Lord;  a  fishf ag's  too  honest 
company. 

[ARLINGTON  leads  CASTLEMAINE  off.] 

BUCKINGHAM 

[To  MONTAGU.]     All  this  you  shall  answer  for. 


ACT     III 

PATRICIA 

[Turning  sharply  on  him.]  Oh,  no!  Oh,  no!  I  can 
answer  for  myself,  and  I  do  need  no  champion.  [At 
MONTAGU.]  Least  of  all  a  young  gentleman  who  can- 
not see  the  nose  before  his  face;  who  takes  virtue  for 
vice,  and  rushes  at  conclusions  like  a  bull  at  a  red  rag. 

BUCKINGHAM 

[Sternly.]     You  are  making  enemies. 

PATRICIA 

You?  I  thank  Saint  Patrick!  For  to  have  you  as 
my  friend  were  to  advertise  myself  as  all  you  say  I 
am.  O,  you  —  Hero !  Brave  in  battle,  but  with  the 
dirty  lampooning,  backbiter's  cowardly  heart!  [She 
turns  away.] 

BUCKINGHAM 

[Drawing  on  MONTAGU.]     Come,  sir!     Come! 

PATRICIA 

I  forbid  it!     [With  a  turn  of  her  rapier  she  sends 
BUCKINGHAM'S  flying.]     Pick  up  your  sword,  my  Lord. 
[A  murmur  of  admiration.] 

BUCKINGHAM 

[With  grave  courtesy.]  By  heaven,  Madam,  that  was 
brilliant.  I  salute  you.  [He  takes  off  his  hat  with  a 
flourish.] 

-C1972- 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

[Condescendingly.]  Keep  your  head  covered,  Sir. 
You  are  very  welcome.  [Sheathes  her  sword,  and  sits 
under  the  tree.~\ 

BUCKINGHAM 

[To  MONTAGU.]  And  you,  my  young  sprig,  shall 
lose  nothing  by  waiting. 

MONTAGU 

At  your  leisure. 

[CHIFFINCH  comes  in  in  a  great  hurry.] 

CHIFFINCH 

Oh,  fie!  Oh,  fie!  Ladies  —  gentlemen  —  the  King 
awaits  you! 

[All  the  courtiers  go  out,  talking  excitedly.] 

BUCKINGHAM 

[With  a  grim  laugh.]  The  King!  By  my  faith,  I'm 
in  fine  trim  for  a  frolic! 

LADY    ARLINGTON 

[Calling  after  him.]     George! 

BUCKINGHAM 

Oh,  Lord,  I  forgot !  Come  then !  [He  gives  her  his 
hand.] 

[All  but  PATRICIA  and  MONTAGU  exeunt.] 


ACT    III 

MONTAGU 

[To  her;  sternly.']     Now !     'Tis  you  and  I. 

PATRICIA 

[Looking  him  up  and  down.~]     What  have  you  to  say 
to  me,  sir? 

MONTAGU 

You  have  told  these  people   the   truth,   emboldened 
thereto  by  the  rise  in  your  fortunes  — 

PATRICIA 
What  rises  that  at  all? 

MONTAGU 

Nay,  you  shall  not  put  me  off  with  questions.     'Tis 
now  my  turn  to  show  you  the  truth. 

PATRICIA 
There's  moon  enough  to  see  it  by. 

MONTAGU 

[Furious."]     Nor  you  shall  not  tease  me  into  a  temper, 
neither. 

PATRICIA 
J  never  exert  myself  needlessly. 


MAVOURNEEN 

MONTAGU 

[Pulling    himself    together.']     You   gave   the    Castle- 
maine  no  more  than  she  deserved  — 

PATRICIA 
[Demurely.]     Thank  you. 

MONTAGU 

[Tragically."]     But  do  you  deserve  less? 

PATRICIA 

[With  a  dangerous  glitter.]     Oho? 

MONTAGU 

You  win  my  love  — 

PATRICIA 

[Ironically.']     So  it  seerqs. 

MONTAGU 

[Not  to  be  put  off.]     I  say,  you  win  my  love:  the 
love  of  a  simple  youth;   faithful  and  true  — 

PATRICIA 
So  did  the  Castlemaine. 

MONTAGU 

[Violently.]     You  shall  not  put  me  out! 
-C  200  > 


ACT    III 

PATRICIA 

[Quietly.]     I  have. 

MONTAGU 

[Beginning  to  flounder.]  And  having,  as  I  say,  won 
my  love,  you  —  you  toss  it  aside  —  like  —  like  — 

PATRICIA 
[Helpful.]     Never  mind  the  simile.     I  toss  it  aside. 

MONTAGU 

And  pursue  your  fortune  with  the  King  — 

PATRICIA 
[With  the  dangerous  gleam-  again.]     Aha! 

MONTAGU 

[Virtuously.']  And  when  by  actions  I  will  not  de- 
scribe, you  had  driven  me  from  court,  and  sent  me 
headlong  upon  a  perilous  adventure  — 

PATRICIA 
From  which  you  return  unscathed. 

MONTAGU 

Then    you    pursued    your    fortune    untrammelled,    so 
that  when  I  come  back,  'tis  to  find  — 
-C201  > 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

[  Gleaming.  ]     Yes  ? 

MONTAGU 

Tis  to  find  you  in  the  Castlemaine's  shoes. 

PATRICIA 
[Drawing  her  rapier.     Rises.]     On  guard! 

MONTAGU 
What? 

PATRICIA 

On  guard ! 

MONTAGU 

But  — 

PATRICIA 

On  guard!  or  by  the  universe,  111  run  you  through. 

MONTAGU 

[Horrified.]     I—?     Fight  you? 

PATRICIA 

You  challenged  me  in  the  inn-yard,  when  I  came 
betwixt  you  and  your  Castlemaine.  'Tis  an  old  score, 
Master  Sidney,  and  now  you've  added  to  it.  On  guard! 
[A  pause,  MONTAGU  gazing  into  Tier  face  the  while 

and  paying  no  attention  to  his  fencing. ,] 
-C202;}- 


ACT    III 

PATRICIA 

[Hitting  his  sword.]  Stiffen  your  wrist,  man!  This 
is  not  child's  play.  On  guard! 

MONTAGU 

I  can't.  Your  eyes  are  too  beautiful.  Kill  me  and 
ha'  done  with  it. 

PATRICIA 
Then  unsay  what  you  said  just  now. 

MONTAGU       , 

What? 

PATRICIA 

That  you  love  me. 

MONTAGU 

I'll  be  damned  if  I  do! 

PATRICIA 

[Attacking.]     On  guard  then! 

MONTAGU 

[Throwing  his  sword  away.~\  Run  me  through.  I'd 
sooner  die!  [He  stands  before  her  with  his  arms 
stretched  apart. 

PATRICIA 

On  your  head  be  it! 


MAVOURNEEN 

[She  rushes  at  him,  as  if  to  kill  him,  but  flings  herself 
into  his  arms,  sending  her  sword  flying.! 

MONTAGU 
[Dumbfounded.']     What —  what  does  this  mean? 

PATRICIA 

Oh,  Sidney,  what  does  it  look  as  if  it  meant? 
[In  the  distance  the  KING'S  procession  is  seen  dancing 
in,  CHARLES  leading  the  way.  They  come  in  single 
file,  the  whole  court,  a  man  and  a  woman  alternately, 
each  carrying  a  small  paper  lantern.  All  are  in  domi- 
noes and  masks.  They  follow  the  KING  as  he  threads 
his  way  in  and  out  among  the  trees.  At  a  signal  from 
the  KING  they  conceal  their  lamps  under  their  dominoes 
and  so  become  invisible.  Thus  they  ultimately  form 
a  wide  semicircle  round  the  lovers  before  these  are 
aware  of  their  presence.] 

PATRICIA 

[Closing  MONTAGU'S  mouth  with  her  hand.]  Hould 
your  whisht  now!  You  don't  believe  a  word  you've 
heard.  You  do  know  you  can  love  me,  and  I  can  love 
you.  [She  points  to  her  dress.]  Why,  look — [Sud- 
denly conscious  of  her  legs  and  trying  ineffectually  to 
hide  them  with  her  hands.]  No!!  —  Sidney,  where  is 
your  cloak? 


ACT    III 

MONTAGU 

[Picking  it  up.]     Here. 

PATRICIA 

[Puts  it  round  her  legs  like  a  skirt.]  Thank  you. 
Now  —  what  was  I  saying  ? 

MONTAGU 

You  said  "  Look  "— 

PATRICIA 

I  didn't  mean  that.  I  meant  I  was  clad  like  this, 
because  I  am  riding  home  with  Father  O'Rafferty,  and 
'tis  safer  to  ride  as  a  boy.  I'm  riding  home  poorer  than 
I  came,  and  humbler,  and  wiser,  and  — 

MONTAGU 

[Folding  her  in  his  arms.]     Your  home's  here,  and 
you'll  ride  no  further. 
[The  semi-circle  is  formed.     The  lamps  are  suddenly 

flashed  on  the  lovers.] 

PATRICIA 
[With  a  cry.]     Oh! 

MONTAGU 

[In  a  rage,  to  the  KING,  who,  like  the  others,  is 
masked.]  Ha!  What  graceless  rogue — ? 


MAVOURNEEN 

CHARLES 

My  felicitations,  young  gentleman. 

MONTAGU 

[Horrified.]  The  King!  — Pat!  we're  done  for! 
[They  flop  on  their  knees.] 

PATRICIA 

We  are! 

CHARLES 

Mr.  Secretary  Pepys  reports  you  have  served  us  well. 

PEPYS 

[Advancing.]     Indeed,  your  Majesty,  'tis  most  true. 

CHARLES 

[At  a  sign  from  him,  PEPYS  picks  up  one  of  the  dis- 
carded swords  and  hands  it  to  him.  The  KING  takes  off 
his  glove.]  I  see  you  have  disarmed  before  the  fair. 
[He  taps  MONTAGU  on  the  shoulder  with  the  sword.] 
Rise,  Sir  Sidney  Montagu  — 

MONTAGU 
Sire  — 

CHARLES 

That's    but    the    beginning.     [To    PATRICIA.]     This 


ACT     III 

lady,  now;  the  Queen  loves  her.     I  think  her  husband 
should  be  at  least  a  Baron  — 

PATRICIA 
Oh,  Sire! 

CHARLES 

[Continuing.']     When  she  has  won  a  husband. 

PATRICIA 

% 

I've  won  him  now,  at  the  sword's  point.     [She  kisses 
the  KING'S  hand.] 

CHARLES 

You  see  I  can  reward  even  virtue;  though,  to  be  sure, 
I'm    out   of   practice.      [To    the   others.]     Come!     The 
Queen  awaits  us ! 
[The  procession  dances  off  as  it  came.     PATRICIA  and 

MONTAGU  who  had  not  risen  from  their  Jcneest  now  fall 

sitting  on  their  heels.] 

MONTAGU 

Is  it  a  dream? 

PATRICIA 

Oh,  I  hope  not! 

[Enters  FATHER  O'RAFPERTY  playing  softly  on  his  fiddle 
MOYRA'S  song;  he  slowly  walks  away,  out  of  sight.] 

MONTAGU 

Why!     [Quietly.]     Who's  this? 


MAVOURNEEN 

PATRICIA 

Sh!     This  is  a  Bishop. 

MONTAGU 

No,  but  truly? 

PATRICIA 

This  is  the  Priest,  all  shaven  and  shorn  — 

MONTAGU 

[Eagerly.] 

Who  married  the  man  all  tattered  and  torn? 

PATRICIA 

[Demurely.'] 

Who   kissed   the   maiden   all   forlorn —  [As   he   still 
hesitates.  ]     Well !     Why  don't  you  ? 
[They  turn  their  faces  to  each  other  where  they  sitt  and 

kiss  like  two  children.     O'RAFFERTY'S  fiddle  is  heard 

in  the  distance.] 

[And  the  moon  shines.] 

CURTAIN 


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AUG  28 1918 
SEP  25  1911 

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